Please help me, I am a 47 year old wife and mum who adores her family but I also have another love..... Booze, it's had me for 30 years now where I have gone from the happy party girl to the woman who drinks 2 bottles of wine a nite and copious amounts of whiskey in between. Am very concerned about my health (had liver test yday) and also last nite I crossed a line that I never ever would have thought possible, I slept with a friends partner. I was very drunk and in the light of day am so beside myself I can barely breathe, my husband is away ATM, he us my best friend, my life and the thought that I have betrayed him is killing me, I know if I tell him I am risking a 20 year marriage but the guilt I don't know if I can live with it! Please help me as I am in a very scary dark place currently, I actually want to die..... Help help :new:
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Dying inside......
Welcome Moon!
For starters, take a deep breath and try to relax a little. We have ALL done things drunk that we hugely regret later. I know it can be overwhelming. Start by not drinking tonight. Let your mind and body heal for a few days before you do anything drastic. I won't give advice about telling or not telling your husband, that is completely your decision. All I can say is the best thing you can do for yourself right now is get rid of any alcohol you have in the house. Read around this site, especially in the Newbies Nest. We've all been there before, we can help you.
K9:heart:I love my daughter more than alcohol:heart:
Believe in yourself. You are stronger than you think. -
Dying inside......
Thank u K for responding, I don't know how I can even get through the next few minutes, think I'm having a panic attack, this is def my bottom.......:new:Comment
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Dying inside......
God even the cat is giving me dirty looks......:new:Comment
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Dying inside......
Are you in any physical danger? Can anyone be with you right now? Maybe you could take a hot bath and drink some tea. I know these seem like simple ideas, but they work wonders. Be sure to EAT...as much as you can! Ice Cream helps a lot too.:heart:I love my daughter more than alcohol:heart:
Believe in yourself. You are stronger than you think.Comment
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Dying inside......
Physical no, mental yes! Have popped a few sleeping pills to try and relax, feel too sick to eat, hungover sick but much more guilt sick,,I love my hubbie sooo much.....am so sick of this dance, have had counselling, AA , campral, you name it, spoke to doc yday about help, then last nite just kind of happened, have never ever gone this low....
Out of the blue and into the Black......:new:Comment
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Dying inside......
Moon, so sorry to hear that you are going through such a tough time. Alcohol takes so much away from our lives. I also can't give you advice on what to say to your husband. It's your decision. I just wanted to let you know that people are thinking about you and I know there are several on the site that can relate to sleeping with someone when drunk. You aren't alone.Comment
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Dying inside......
Thanks Peace, I feel so alone, this just isn't who I am on any level, I fear this guilt may kill me, yes I know I messed up and will,take steps to make sure this never ever happens again, I don't want to lose my family, I love them so much, oh god!!!:new:Comment
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Dying inside......
Moonchild, are you drinking right now?
:hug: Patty"God didn't give you the Strength to get back on your feet
so that you can run back to the same thing that knocked you down." :hug:Comment
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Dying inside......
No I'm not, feel very nauseous:upset::new:Comment
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Dying inside......
Am too ashamed to speak yo anyone about thus, god I've even been googling how to kill yourself, what's happened to me:new:Comment
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Dying inside......
Good. :h Please focus on drinking water, or tea, at the moment.
You are certainly overwhelmed, both physically and emotionally.... so one thing at a time: focus on the "easy one", the physical. You probably don't feel like eating, so if you haven't, get something that has high protein in it- make a cheese plate with little bites if the thought of a larger meal grosses you out.
:hug:"God didn't give you the Strength to get back on your feet
so that you can run back to the same thing that knocked you down." :hug:Comment
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Dying inside......
What has happened to yourself? Well, my friend, alcohol is a POISON. You have been slowly poisoning your body for the last 30 years.... it erodes the physical being, and seeps into your heart. It brings out the worst in ALL of us."God didn't give you the Strength to get back on your feet
so that you can run back to the same thing that knocked you down." :hug:Comment
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Dying inside......
Thanks for the advice, and yes I am overwhelmed, am such a family oriented person, don't recognise myself today:new:Comment
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Dying inside......
Let's focus on getting your physical equilibrium stable, without any poison in it... then you can focus on the emotional stuff."God didn't give you the Strength to get back on your feet
so that you can run back to the same thing that knocked you down." :hug:Comment
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