A Very Difficult Two Weeks

[BlueSong]

A Very Difficult Two Weeks

Thank you Patty for your post, I can't imagine how difficult that time must have been for you. It sounds like you handled it in the best possible way you could have. I do want to be with my husband, since I've left he's been reaching out to me a lot saying I'm the only one he could ever share a life with, he still loves me very much, it's over with the woman, etc. he seems very sincere so I should be feeling better right? Well I have been in the U.S. about two weeks now and I feel like a strong wind could knock me over... I feel so fragile and vulnerable. Just hours before I traveled I got an email from the other woman saying "they were still talking" even though he stopped seeing her, she said she is now seeing someone else so I don't have to "worry" about her anymore. I was shocked. My husband confessed to me that he had talked to her for a while but he eventually withdrew from her completely and it's now entirely finished. But knowing he continued talking really hurt me deeply. When I was traveling I didn't drink much, usually I will have many drinks in the airport. This time I didn't, and the first few days when I returned I hardly drank. But now suddenly I find myself feeling even more pain, and I'm drinking and not even enjoying it.

Treetops I do think it's a good suggestion to go to a doctor, I'm worried about both my physical and mental health. With each passing day I feel more hurt and confused. I just don't feel safe anymore. And I know that drinking is the worst thing I could be doing right now... I don't know where my strength has gone. Even though I'm here in this beautiful city, away from everything reminding me of what happened, I feel these are very dark days.

[NotHappyHourHappyLife]

A Very Difficult Two Weeks

Big hugs, Blue Song.

You have a lot of soul searching to do.

You know what YOU need to do. The answers aren't hidden here in my post, nor in the bottom of a bottle of wine. You can ask every single friend on Facebook, call a town hall meeting, and poll all of your friends.

If you ask a million people, you will get two million opinions, my friend.

Only YOU can decide what to do, about YOUR drinking. About YOUR marriage. About YOUR future.

And as you make these decisions, you'll have to weigh the consequences of each decision carefully.
And once you DECIDE.... the stress is alleviated, because you no longer have to decide. You just have to follow through with your decision.

While being a single mom in a foreign country was a dark, lonely time for me, I made it through. I am blessed I wasn't drinking at all, so even though my heart was broken, my head was clear. It was heart wrenching, to be honest. But I made it, and as the days went on, and I started to see sunrises again, I became a stronger person. I found a stronger, happier version of me.

Reflect, and journal, and pray if you are a praying sort.

But NEVER forget, my friend, that YOU are worth it. You deserve to be treated like a princess... but first, you must treat yourself like a Princess. :h

Patty

[wagmore]

A Very Difficult Two Weeks

BlueSong,

So sorry to hear about your very heart-wrenching situation. It is a good sign that you have the awareness that drinking isn't helping you, and that you've been able to drink less in at least some circumstances.

As NHHHL said, you will have to decide what is right and best for you. Use friends and/or family members as sounding boards, come here and use us as well, journal about it - whatever works best for you - sometimes it helps bring clarity just to put things into spoken or written words.

In the meantime, finding a caring and supportive Dr might be a huge help. I am not a person who goes to a Dr very often, but the few times I've found a compassionate one who was also competent, it did wonders for me just to feel like I was "less alone" and that I had someone on my team who was going to help me get through whatever situation.

As painful as things are right now, try your best to use other methods for relieving your pain. Take some nice long walks if possible, spend time in nature and/or with friends/family/pets, eat good healthy food, breathe... Your body, mind and heart are dealing with significant stress right now - the more you can do to nurture and nourish yourself, the better off you'll be.

Hugs to you :l :huggy

[Marylou123]

A Very Difficult Two Weeks

Hi Blue,

I, too, am so sorry to hear of your situation. You have so much on your plate right now. I would suggest you "sit on the marriage" decision for now. Try to focus on you - get healthy and let the al haze clear. Your relationship issue will likely still be there, but you might see it different angles.

Love you and thinking about you. It really does get better.

[SoberSoul]

A Very Difficult Two Weeks

Blue Song, just stopping in to say that I'm thinking of you. Try to put yourself first in this situation. What is best for you? Only you? You can do whatever you need to do because we really do have more strength than we realize. In order to stop drinking you will have to dig deep but reading your posts, I believe you have the ability to do that. Stay very close to this site as the warmth and care are genuine and the advice is wise.

Take care. xoxo

[Running4life]

A Very Difficult Two Weeks

Hi Blue:
I am sorry you are going through this. I have been going through marital unfaithfulness issues as well for quite some time. Don't want to give you too much advice but want you to know that I am thinking about you. Marriages can recover if couples agree to counselling and hard work. Both parties need to be totally committed. Take some time to think about what you want. You have plenty of support here. I really appreciated the links Moss Rose posted. I am finding them helpful. Thanks Moss.
Sending you hugs Blue!
R4L

[NotHappyHourHappyLife]

A Very Difficult Two Weeks

HI Blue....... thinking of you. :l