Wide awake and massice anxiety!

[Change]

Well, i don't know where to start. I'm not sure if the anxiety is related to my drinking. I haven't been getting massive hangovers lately, but i guess have been having 1-4 glasses of wine per night (maybe nearly every night, can't recall) for the past few weeks.

The anxiety has been getting really bad. I am 45, no kids and am stressing out about the future. Recently i've felt let down by a couple of friends, which has made me feel even more alone and like i don't have many people to rely on. I can't remember a more uncertain time in my life than right now. My hopes for the future seem grim.

At the moment, i am stressing out about getting up early for work. My alarm is set to go off in around 6 hours and i am nowhere near sleep. I have a massive crush on someone at work and am freaking out about seeing them because i left things uncomfortable on Friday. I love this person, but have only succeeded in pushing them further away due to my erratic and uptight behaviour.

I don't know what is at the root of this anxiety, but at least one anxiety attack per day is the norm for me right now. I haven't had a drink for two days and am strongly considering giving it up due to this debilitating anxiety. I have ended a few relationships badly lately and am in the vortex of guilt also and i've only just recognised how my selfish actions effect others (yep, i'm a slow learner). I've realised that i need to be more assertive, less passive-aggressive and dysfunctional, and less aggressive and extreme in general. I have traits of BPD, and it scares me.

I guess i'll pray for some goodness and love in my heart, cos i surely need it .

[daisy45]

Wide awake and massice anxiety!

Change, I know you can't see it now, but being sober will change your perspective on all the things that are causing you stress. Alcohol creates a vicious circle of self-loathing, uncertainty, doubt, depression - you are never truly thinking or feeling with clarity.......
Give it a real go! You owe it to yourself! You deserve it!
Go to the Newbies Nest and post there, then read ,read, read......gather information, advice, knowledge.......looking forward to seeing you there!

[Change]

Wide awake and massice anxiety!

daisy45;1667401 wrote: Change, I know you can't see it now, but being sober will change your perspective on all the things that are causing you stress. Alcohol creates a vicious circle of self-loathing, uncertainty, doubt, depression - you are never truly thinking or feeling with clarity.......
Give it a real go! You owe it to yourself! You deserve it!
Go to the Newbies Nest and post there, then read ,read, read......gather information, advice, knowledge.......looking forward to seeing you there!

Yes, i am going to give it a go. This time. I always thought it would be the hangovers that would drive me to stop, but it's the anxiety, numbness and depression.

[available]

Wide awake and massice anxiety!

Chance my anxiety was through the roof when i was drinking. I was on xanax daily and thats real addictive so i hated taking that and i blamed my anxiety on everything but it was al as now i have been sober 6 months i very very rarely get anxiety. If i do it because i have to be in a crowd or do something i am not comfortable with. It is gone basically. Never did i think that al caused it to the extent it was becoming, i thought it was all the other stresses in my life but it was al who was the main culprit.

You wont freak about about this "crush" if you are not drinking. When i dated i was paranoid that they would figure i drank too much so then i was anxious. Now i have not bothered about dating for 6 months, i needed to find me, the sober me and i have. Now its time to date and hopefully with a nice man. If not i can wait as i like me now, the sober me.

[YouKayBee]

Wide awake and massice anxiety!

Alcohol makes any anxiety worse, usually afterwards when sober. If you can quit totally it will improve. Some say that baclofen reduces underlying anxiety, and thus reduces the desire and need to get drunk.

Didn't help me, what did help was being committed to stopping the problems alcohol was causing, ie getting into recovery.

[Pavati]

Wide awake and massice anxiety!

Hi,

What finally got me to quit was a two day "anxiety attack" that I now attribute to withdrawal - it didn't feel like a typical hangover, but something MUCH worse. I am with Available - I thought I was an anxious person, and being free from alcohol has pretty much ended big anxiety and worry. It will take a while to get better - in the mean time, focus on staying sober. I found help in drinking Gatorade, eating well, and taking nice long baths with lavender bath salts. I also got outside to walk as often as I could.

Hang tight - all that you mentioned above will seem less consuming once you are sober.

Pavati

[Change]

Wide awake and massice anxiety!

Pavati;1667952 wrote:
Hang tight - all that you mentioned above will seem less consuming once you are sober.

Pavati

Thank you Pavati.

I think im 3-4 days AF now and had massive cravings today because the anxiety has eased a little and i got into a false sense of security. I decided to come home and get busy instead of drinking though. The crush went really badly the other day because i got abandonment issues and had a meltdown at work and had a go at the person and accused them of using me when all i wanted to say was how much i'd miss her and tell her how i feel as i'll be leaving soon.

'Nway, i have to deal with the consequences. I'm sure i've got BPD at the moment as i feel extremely insecure, out of control and well, 'psycho'.

She probably hates me and worse (worse of all), she's probably lost respect for me and will be polite no matter what, which only makes me feel worse.

[available]

Wide awake and massice anxiety!

Change you emotions will settle down with time. We have highs and lows and maybe in time you can apologise and explain the reason wy you did what you did. For now try not to worry about it and focus on you. You have withdrawals from al that is all and everything will start fixing itself the longer you are sober.

It was all very easy to hide our feelings and emotions with al and when we stop hiding those feelings with al we seem to go a tad "psycho". I know i did but the good aspect is, we realise what we are doing and we learn to care. Before we did not care about anything except the next drink and then we were happy.

Do not give into the cravings, that is all they are, cravings. horrible to deal with but at the end of the day you are so much better off without al.

Maybe you can email this friend and say you are sorry even if you dont explain why at the moment. My SIL visited when i was in the early days of giving up and she was my best drinking partner in the world (she stayed elsewhere). She invited me over and i gave some silly excuse and she was really upset that i did not visit but i could not tell her why, she thought she had done something to upset me. A month onwards and i did explain why and she understood as she knew i had a problem with al.