Wasting my time???

[Higgs-boson]

Nil

[roxane]

Wasting my time???

you wont be wasting your time if you want to quit higgs. welcome to you.

[Alky]

Wasting my time???

Hi Higgs-Boson (great name, by the way). I had the benefit of reading your original post that you've since edited and appreciated your honesty. You basically said you've "done it all" (therapy, psychiatric care, recovery groups, etc.) and are still unable to stop drinking. In my opinion, you've taken many of the right steps, so there's two possible scenarios at work. One is that you haven't been given the proper tools to initiate and maintain sobriety, or that you aren't yet sufficiently motivated to stop. If it is the former, I would keep looking and looking and looking for someone who can help. I spent a lot of time, fuel, and money looking for a doctor that could really help me. It took me over one year, but I finally found one. If it is the latter, try listing all the reasons why you should stop, and why you want to drink. Comparing the pros and cons of each list might provide enough of a motivational push to get you started down the path to long-term sobriety.

You probably don't need me to tell you, but not being able to go more than two weeks sober over a ten year span is likely wreaking havoc on your internal organs. You should be seeing a doctor regularly for this reason alone. Good luck and best wishes to you.

[NotHappyHourHappyLife]

Wasting my time???

It's up to you...

Welcome, Higgs Boson. I did not have the honor of reading your original post, but if you return to read these responses...

If the question is, "are you wasting your time trying to quit drinking"... the choice is truly yours.

I am one of 7 children, and since we share the same parents, we all have similar issues with depression and alcoholism. Out of the 7 of us, 2 have become medicated with different anti-depressants, and 4 of us have various degrees of alcoholism.

There is me, and if you right click on my name and "Find all posts", you can read my story.
I have two brothers that "only drinks on weekends".
I have one brother that drinks every day, no matter what.

My brother that drinks every day... he is 2 years older than me (52). He will tell you straight out that he doesn't expect to be here when he is 60 because "he's lived a hard life". I know he dabbled in illegal drugs when he was younger, and now he "only drinks beer"...

He has 6 young adults that look up to him and call him "Dad". He has 7 young children that call him Grandpa. He is the life of the party when he is in a bar.
At his work, the customers that come into his store know him by name, and know that he will be honest in what they need (he works in the automotive industry). He is passionate about his job and will tell you his honest (and sometimes obnoxious) opinion.

If it was my choice, I would yank that damn beer can out of his hand, because I want him to be here beyond age 60. I want him to be there for his Grandkids in a way that he should have been there for his children. If it was my choice, he would be on this forum, and at AA meetings, telling people in his no-nonsense way to cut the B.S. and to believe in yourself. He is my big brother that when I was in trouble as a teenager, I would call him and say, "I need you", and he was there. Without fail.

The reality is that it is not my choice.
He tells me he is too old to change.
He tells me "it is what it is".

I tell him that he is Selfish and His grand kids need him.

He tells me that I'm being selfish for not accepting him as he is.

Somewhere in the middle, there is the right answer. I don't know how old you are, but my biggest regret with my relationship with my brother is that I didn't jump up and down and SCREAM at him and beg him to quit his shenanigans earlier. He doesn't see any reason to change now, and I can't get him to change his mind.

So.... I have to Love Him as he is. "Broken", perhaps, but I Love Him.

There are people in your life that are standing in the sidelines that probably feel like I do.... wishing that you'd change, but knowing that if they jump up and down, you may feel the need to distance yourself from them. But they love you, as Broken as you may be... it is for those people that you must try. They see the sparkle in your soul that you may have forgotten about. They want you to be here in 5 years.

Hugs. :l

[MossRose]

Wasting my time???

Hi HB and welcome. I didn't get a chance to read your post, but I get the gist. I can't give you any great advice, because I too have failed more times than I care to count. But I do know that there are many people here - folks with heart wrenching stories, and lots of relapses behind them - that have finally managed to give up AL. That's what gets me through the night.

All I can say is...no, it's not a waste of time to try to heal your life. I hope you are still lurking, and come back for support. We'll be here for you and no matter what you have to say, we will listen.

[Pavati]

Wasting my time???

Hi, H-B:

Hope all is ok. Alky makes some good suggestions.

Happy - your posts are always spot on. Thanks for that one.

Pav

[frances]

Wasting my time???

HB - hello and welcome and I hope you stick around. It is never a waste of time to try to stop drinking. You are understandably frustrated but I firmly believe you can do this. Alky's post is spot on, please don't give up!

[mama bear]

Wasting my time???

welcome HB...you will find lots and lots of support here
good luck on this difficult journey