Need a drink

[available]

Need a drink

Stewarts "made two days" is awesome. Can i ask how the moderating went for you when you did it? Not that i am going to as i know i cant. I remember going onto the mod thread about 4 weeks after i started and had thoughts of doing that! The thing was i never managed to moderate before so i just knew i could never do it.

Daisy please let us know you are ok.

[Daisy38]

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Horrendous weekend! I have been lucky in the past 10 weeks cravings haven't hit me at all I was absolutely set on being alcohol free and felt some what invincible, how naive I was............ I did struggle through Friday night I wrote my pros and cons of alcohol in a list cons of drinking out weighed the pros by far, I read a lot of the links I find useful on the MWO and had a very nice alcohol free evening with my family when they got in later that night.

I woke up Saturday feeling really great that I was hang over free, and that I hadn't drank whilst my family were there, potentially I would of ruined a very nice evening. Fast forward to Saturday afternoon and I start to feel down again, this really isn't like me and I begin to think well maybe just one I fought to keep the craving at bay I took my family to the cinema, then went clothes shopping and had some coffee and cake. I still felt down and then I broke I said to my husband perhaps one glass of red this evening, he very kindly and sweetly said 'I will do anything for you but is it really worth throwing away 10 weeks for one glass of red wine what difference will it make?' That really hit home I love him so much .

This morning I was back in the gym and I feel a lot better now out of my pity party lol

I have saved one thank you for last I have been overwhelmed with the support I have received from you all over the weekend I was totally taken by surprise with the level of cravings and desire to break this weekend. I am quite a private person it took some courage for me to reach out on here I am so pleased I did. I love my poem from Mick thank you!, and all the messages of advice and support inspired and motivated me. Thank you all so much.

[sweetpea29]

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Ah Daisy Delighted for you that you've came through the weekend without letting the cravings win! It is fantastic :goodjob: You've used your tools and support wisely. Hopefully next time a craving rears it's ugly mug you'll be even more ready to give it the push.

Stewarts- hope you're still on track too xx

[roxane]

Need a drink

daisy well done, bloody hard but you did it. i worried that because you hadnt posted you had had that drink. pleased to see you didnt. you threw a lot at it and it worked. respect to you.

[Daisy38]

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Sweet pea, Roxane,
Thank you for the posts i am so happy that I'am continuing my al free journey, I expected cravings at some point I didn't expect it to linger for so long. Keeping fit & healthy does help to keep my mind focused, because of work I had slipped off my healthy eating and fitness regime which may have contributed to my low mood and the work stress was exasperated by not going to the gym and thrashing it out. I have learnt to make time for me to achieve the results I want.

Great to see that Stewart has committed to 30 days al free a big shout out to you Stewart! I wish you all the best and thank you for contributing here I do appreciate all the support

[roxane]

Need a drink

It can linger short it can linger long, almost like its struggling to get you back and is putting in the effort to do so. But. It does for me seem weaker afterwards. Or rather I feel more resolved. Like I'm moving on to another 'stage'.

It took us a while to get like this, we can expect it to take a while for our minds to adjust. Our brains are moving the furniture around to account for the ugly sofa that we chucked out. So to speak.

[Stewarts]

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Daisy, that's great! I don't know a lot of your situation, but even if you just had that one glass of red, and left it at that, I'd think that's still a success. That is great your husband did that. I have been in relationships with people and I told them, for whatever reason I had at the time, that I didn't want to drink and they'd keep throwing it in my face....to the point, I'd join out of mere boredom. Yes, I did make it through the entire weekend with no drinks. So, that is Friday, Saturday and Sunday. I even went to this bar to get some wings to go, the first thing the bartender did was look at me and say, "BudLight?" I was like...no...just some wings to go."

I normally don't talking about modding except in the mod thread, but Available asked.... It's had its up ands downs. Can I go out and just have one drink? Yes. Can I just have two or three over a longer time period? Yes. Do I sometimes go over that? Yes. In recent years, I've noticed, my mood effects this a lot. When I was younger, oh, and I'm really a beer wine drinker, if I paced myself properly, I could pretty much drink light beer all day, definitely be ok for a night...you then get older of course...yes, of course I had my nights of getting drunk, but that wasn't my goal. AL was just engrained in my social interactions, it was just always there. For example, I never, or rarely drink at home...it's always when I am out. When I would get in "trouble" meaning, drinking too much, was usually because I was having "too much fun". I was with old friends, etc. When I was depressed, I never wanted to go out so I wouldn't be drinking....now it's kind of switching on me. When I am depressed, which I unfortunately do suffer from time to time, the urge or, as some of call craving, I can actually feel. I never had that before. That can lead into worse trouble, because at some point, maybe, maybe not, the self-deprecation will come in. Right now I am noticing that, so I feel it be best to stay away, even from like one or two beers... because even that will give a false sense of security.

I hope I answered your questions or shed some light. I know this is a topic, that being modding, a lot don't like to hear about, so I will end it here. Perhaps PM me if you have more questions.

Best,

j.

[See the Light]

Need a drink

Well done Daisy- Hang in there and keep fighting!

[FlyAway]

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Great job Daisy in making it on through that craving. And good on your DH for understanding and helping you. It's easy to start letting your guard down and letting things slide after you start getting comfortable with being AF. I think that's when the cravings will hit you hard. I know it happened to me after about 4 months AF. Keeping active and staying focused on clean eating and exercise to so important. I'm glad that you reached out for help.

[Daisy38]

Need a drink

Hi really like all the replies|

Stewart - I can't moderate I have tried and I always end up in the same place. I came to this site in my first marriage because I hated how alcohol turned me into a completely different person and not for the better. My first husband wasn't as supportive he was a big drinker and made cruel remarks about my efforts he called MWO members my 'alcoholic friends' and continued to abuse me verbally most days, I drank mainly to fit in with my life back then. I eventually left him, and I do wish him well. I carried on drinking and making mistakes and coming back here then thinking I was ok making mistakes coming back here, and it went on for 5 years. I have a wonderful life now, I know that if I carry on drinking I will lose everything.

Roxane - your right it will take a while to get over my demons, adapt my life and get accustomed to the new me
SL. - thanks for the motivation
Fly Away- - I'm really interested in how you made it past the 4 month point ? I need to grow stronger

[Stewarts]

Need a drink

Daisy, it's great that you know yourself and make the right decisions for yourself. Like I said, I was in relationships where I didn't want to drink or at least take a break, and the girl kept dragging me out. Even my ex-wife, I remember, got mad at me because I wouldn't have a glass of wine with her one night....but all and all, my ex was supportive of most of my endeavors. That sucks about your ex, well, at least that is in the past. I have told people that have said to me, "I want to mod, but I can't stop when I start?!?!" I always answer, "well then, you can't mod."

I was out with my running friends tonight. Drinks usually come after that. I was good, ordered my cranberry and club soda. However, a glass of white wine was looking real good.....not beer, but wine, which is weird for me after a run, craving wine not beer....anyway, I had a similiar thought, "I can have one." Then I thought about it, why? I want to wake up early and drive to my summer house. The one can easily become two. I ordered another cranberry and club soda...was feeling all NOT that social, and now here I am home writing this. I really do think I need this AL free time right now. I'm not feeling that well, a lot of low mood, and I can't figure out why.

Daisy I am glad to hear you're doing well.... everyone, I hope you're well.


j.

[FlyAway]

Need a drink

Daisy38;n2514646 wrote:
Fly Away- - I'm really interested in how you made it past the 4 month point ? I need to grow stronger

Well, I made it past the 4 month mark a couple times. LOL. The first time, things like drinking tonic water in my typical drinking glass, taking L-Glutamine, reading Jason Vale's book, and exercise helped. On my last and final quit, there was 100% full acceptance that I was never going to drink again and an incredible feeling of gratitude and relief that came with that realization. My final quit was the easiest quit I've ever had because I was no longer fighting against the secret hope that one day I could be a "normal" drinker again. But much to my surprise I still hit a wall of cravings that lasted for 2 days when I was at about the 4 month mark.

What got me through was staying busy. For me, I didn't crave alcohol when I was at work or actively engaged in some activity. I'd force myself to do a workout or leave the house just to stay busy. My mom was pretty sick at the time, so I went to visit her and I tried to some "acts of kindness" to help other people. Mind you, it was really to help myself. Staying busy and engaged and feeling like what I was doing mattered helped keep me distracted from my cravings. And after a couple days it was easier once again.

[Eloise]

Have a listen to a BubbleHour podcast.
Lots of strength coming your way, baby steps... You are doing great!

Sweet pea,

Thank you I'm feeling really down your words have just moved me to tears, you've given me some strength and I send you lots of virtual hugs for that!

I have been reading the tool box and the reminders in the I will not drink today thread........... I know I'm romancing the past I had with wine I just can't shake the overwhelming feeling that it will help me escape.

I like your idea of a treat and a chat xx