Hello all...I am relieved to have found this site, in that I feel like you all will likely be less judgmental than some of the other places I've looked. Long story short, about a week and a half ago I found out I am pregnant. I am 38 years old, and my husband and I have not been using birth control for many years, and frankly I thought getting pregnant was an impossibility. Apparently, that's not the case. Clearly, I have not touched a drop since finding out. Actually since about four days before I found out (so two weeks).
I believe I am about 11 weeks in at this point. My last normal pd was the end of July, then we went on vacation in the Keys (drank gobs) and then in August I had what I thought was a normal pd, though only about two days in duration. Long story short, when I only had slight spotting in Sept and my pd never really came (despite cramping), I began to think something was up and took a pregnancy test that I was shocked to see was positive. At first, I was very excited and happy, but then when I began thinking back about all the binge drinking I have done during what, according to the Internet (which is the devil), is absolutely the most critical point in development, I am utterly paralyzed with fear and remorse. To the point where I can't eat or sleep and am pretty much driving my poor husband crazy and spend essentially all my time on the laptop or phone. He is very concerned for my mental health, which I understand. Two of three nights on Labor Day weekend were BIG drinking nights and then two nights while away at a conference in what would have been the beginning of the eighth week of pregnancy were horrible...shots, wine, beer, martinis, everything. There were a few other nights of otherwise heavy drinking (3-4 rum drinks) as well, which is not all that abnormal for us. I am just utterly disgusted with myself and wracked with fear and panic. Constant crying and fervent prayer.
I have my first Obgyn appt on Wednesday, so we will know more then. I honestly would have NEVER endangered this child if I had known, but my pds have typically been fairly irregular, and frankly I thought I was entering menopause. I had absolutely NO morning sickness or symptoms whatsoever until the missed second period in Sept. when my boobs began to get sore. Sorry if this is TMI, by the way.
I understand I'm certainly not the first woman to have ever experienced something like this, but I suppose I'm just looking for some reassurance from people who may have gone through it as well. While I have to admit that termination of the pregnancy out of this fear has crossed my mind, it is not really an option. I also understand that I need to see the doctor and get an ultrasound before I will know any more. Any advice/support you might provide would be greatly appreciated.
I believe I am about 11 weeks in at this point. My last normal pd was the end of July, then we went on vacation in the Keys (drank gobs) and then in August I had what I thought was a normal pd, though only about two days in duration. Long story short, when I only had slight spotting in Sept and my pd never really came (despite cramping), I began to think something was up and took a pregnancy test that I was shocked to see was positive. At first, I was very excited and happy, but then when I began thinking back about all the binge drinking I have done during what, according to the Internet (which is the devil), is absolutely the most critical point in development, I am utterly paralyzed with fear and remorse. To the point where I can't eat or sleep and am pretty much driving my poor husband crazy and spend essentially all my time on the laptop or phone. He is very concerned for my mental health, which I understand. Two of three nights on Labor Day weekend were BIG drinking nights and then two nights while away at a conference in what would have been the beginning of the eighth week of pregnancy were horrible...shots, wine, beer, martinis, everything. There were a few other nights of otherwise heavy drinking (3-4 rum drinks) as well, which is not all that abnormal for us. I am just utterly disgusted with myself and wracked with fear and panic. Constant crying and fervent prayer.
I have my first Obgyn appt on Wednesday, so we will know more then. I honestly would have NEVER endangered this child if I had known, but my pds have typically been fairly irregular, and frankly I thought I was entering menopause. I had absolutely NO morning sickness or symptoms whatsoever until the missed second period in Sept. when my boobs began to get sore. Sorry if this is TMI, by the way.
I understand I'm certainly not the first woman to have ever experienced something like this, but I suppose I'm just looking for some reassurance from people who may have gone through it as well. While I have to admit that termination of the pregnancy out of this fear has crossed my mind, it is not really an option. I also understand that I need to see the doctor and get an ultrasound before I will know any more. Any advice/support you might provide would be greatly appreciated.
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