Really struggling tonight: nearly 8 weeks sober

[Change]

Hi everyone,

Been really struggling tonight (and last night), and almost took the trip to the bottle shop just before. I kept talking myself out of it, but honestly, this was the least resolved i have been. My two triggers are prevelant today: tiredness and sugar cravings. Oh yeah, and a generous dash of loneliness. 'Part from that, everything else is going okay in my life: have (some) friends, good job, and i am rational, which is really important.

The difference between this time and every other time i've tried to give up is that i am so much more rational now. I am thinking things through, and psychologically, i do not want to drink. The loneliness and how alone i am feeling tonight is almost crippling, but i know in my mind to go back to that poison would be worse. Only problem is my impulse control is slightly off tonight..

I don't know what i am looking for here by posting. Just trying to get some of my thoughts down, and isn't it ironic that i can't even call a friend to offer me support. Mostly, because i don't trust them (in that way).

Tell me something good, tell me something nice. I would like to hear

[blink]

eat!

you said you dont want to drink. thats your rational mind. but youre craving. thats your base lizard reptile addicted mind. you know what to take notice of. it will pass Change. it will. think it through to next morning. or even in a few hours. you will either be devasted you caved or relieved and believe that you can actually do this.

distract yourself. count the patterns in the wall paper, play solitaire go for a walk, sleep. anything that takes your mind elsewhere.

writing it down helps to remove it by one step away from your emotions. well done for posting.

[Baclofenman]

Hi Change

FWIW - If I was in your position, I would get myself a box set and stick it on - You have returned to your default feeling - Boredom and the need for alcohol is prevelant in your mind - You need to retrain your thinking by thinking of something else - Changing your focus if you like when times get tough

The thought of booze will be prevelant in your mind so consider how great you will feel in the morning, having beaten your first craving night - You will not regret it - Once you get into your box set, I would expect the draw to alcohol will disperse

For me, it is all about finding other options to focus on - It is only because alcohol has been your default for the feelings you are having - it does not have to be that way

Like I said earlier you will not regret it in the morning - Yes it is tough tonight but you will have had tough times before and got through it

Regards


Bacman

[available]

Change you posted so it shows you dont want to drink. As Blink says eat and eat some more. As Bac says watching a box set or go and have a nice bath and really look at the positives of being sober. Sometimes these thoughts last a few days but to get through this makes your sober muscles stronger. We all go through different emotions in our sobriety its a part of our healing.

You could just ring a friend for a chat to take your mind of al thoughts and not say anything about wanting a drink if you dont want to. We need to redirect our thinking away from the urges/cravings.

You will wake up tomorrow and be proud you did not drink. At the end of the day who wants to go back to the vicious cycle we lived as an addict/alkie/drunk.

[IamMary]

Hi Change, completely agree with everyone above. Distract yourself.
Its the morning here now and it wont be long before its the morning there too.. I have a clear head today, it still feels SO good. Go to bed early or at least get into the PJs early. I also second getting stuck into a good box set or series, I loose myself in them and suddenly its time for bed and I have another day under my belt.
I am re watching loads cos I cant remember half of them anyway!

[Change]

Thanks everyone. Even just reading here (other posts) has distracted me enough not to want to do it, well, so far. I know, once it gets to 8.30-9.00pm, i will be okay. I've also realised my life has comprised of only two things since i gave up: 1) an extreme interest in a hobby, which i spend A LOT of time on (!), and work. I've realised i need some me-time in there, time just to do nothing, and face the abyss.

Interesting concept about the default position, i would agree with that. I need a few more new defaults, for variety!!

I have eaten.. Chocolate cake. And, have a cup of herbal tea waiting.

[blink]

even better if you know the rough time you stop having the cravings/urges. mine was about 7pm.

good going on eight weeks btw. have patience, i was terrible at expecting everything to brilliant sooner than they could. ava says she put poison into her for years, she had to expect it would take a while for it to begin to level out. or words to that effect.

[Eloise]

I was feeling so much the same Change, in the past.
I hope you got through the evening, I think that you did.
It will just be a few more months of these difficult moments from time to time, then I think your brain will start to give you a break.
I hope so as this was what happened to me. After 2 months I was definitely still thinking about drinking. You are doing great!!

[Baclofenman]

Even just reading here (other posts) has distracted me enough not to want to do it

I once read a great post here that said something along the lines of

"When I am tempted I go to MWO and this focuses my mind"

Very true

Regards


Bacman

[Change]

Well, i got through the crappy period.. Thanks to everyone who responded. I am beyond exhausted now (which is not necessarily a bad thing). This has made me realise i need some time out sometimes, instead of pushing myself into my one hobby, and occassionally into work. Balance, here i come!

Night y'all, i hope you've all had a relaxing and / or productive day, and most of all, respected yo-self

[Eloise]

Glad to read your post Change, good for you! No, AWESOME for you.
Balance, yes that needs to be your new hobby!

[Ican]

Good for you! What's the hobby if I may ask?i am looking for one

[Change]

Ican- music production. I obsessively learn instruments.

Other good hobby suggestions could be exercise, knitting, gardening, diet (healthy eating), cooking, photography, and many more.

I think it's important to have at least one hobby in life..

[blink]

remember mindfulness.

[Change]

[QUOTE=blink;1671777]remember mindfulness]

Mindfulness, being in the present moment.. Yes! Hard to do given we are generally conditioned to look forward to the future and think that it's more 'fruitful' than the present!