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    #91
    Re: So lost

    I really wish I could disappear. I've been having just enough to keep the shakes at bay.

    Comment

      #92
      Re: So lost

      I'm shaking and my heart is really pounding. This stinks

      Comment

        #93
        Re: So lost

        Tidegirl, the drinking to ward off the shakes only works for so long then you'll just need more and more,I've been there too many times! In the end its down to pretending you have the flu and taking a few days off for self care
        I have too much shit to do today and tomorrow to drink:sohappy:

        I'm taking care of the "tomorrow me":thumbsup:
        Drinkin won't help a damn thing! Will only make me sick for DAYS and that ugly, spacey dumb feeling-no thanks!

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          #94
          Re: So lost

          P-- thank you -- I know I have to suck it up and just power through it

          Comment

            #95
            Re: So lost

            Am seriously considering ending it all. My son is the only thing that will stop me. Am masking but it only goes so far. Now I'm off to cook dinner like nothing's awry. Tomorrow and it will be hell we are going room to room on this house and cleaning it.

            Comment

              #96
              Re: So lost

              Tidegirl, how are you? Are you on the west coast or the east? Does your community have a mental health hotline where you can talk to someone anonymously?

              I hope you find some peace. I'm worried about you.

              Comment

                #97
                Re: So lost

                I'm on the east. I've been trying to stay busy, take a shower, just DO things. The most terrible thing I can do is start thinking as I'll beat up on myself endlessly. Thankfully I haven't drank for several hours and feel okay now-- was feeling way worse earlier. I got rid of all the bottles etc and all the alcohol. . Once again my son and I will be alone as my hubby has a trial week. Since I've essentially been isolated for the past week or so I need to up my game. I've got to up it for good this time

                Comment

                  #98
                  Re: So lost

                  The nights are the worst! Can't sleep as usual and have my thoughts going over and over

                  Comment

                    #99
                    Re: So lost

                    Tidegirl I know how awful the nights can be. I'm in the opposite timezone so can I help? Does the chat function still work? Or please PM me if you need to talk.
                    There's two ways of looking at the holes in your shoes
                    You can dig the ventilation... or you can sing the blues

                    I didn't come this far to only come this far.

                    Comment

                      #100
                      Re: So lost

                      Thank you Glass. I need to stop the worrying and shame. My heart is beating so fast now and the lack of sleep is killing me

                      Comment

                        #101
                        Re: So lost

                        I've just sent you a message. Please let me know if I can help. If you're experiencing severe anxiety there are online resources you can access that may be able to help you.
                        Last edited by Glass Half Empty; June 6, 2017, 02:02 AM.
                        There's two ways of looking at the holes in your shoes
                        You can dig the ventilation... or you can sing the blues

                        I didn't come this far to only come this far.

                        Comment

                          #102
                          Re: So lost

                          For some reason I didn't get the message-- odd. Thank you for reaching out. I'm super weak and of course my head immediately went to the worst case-- that I was dying of some dreaded malady. Then I thought about it and thought -- you've been up for basically 2 days and you've barely eaten-- it's no wonder id feel this way.

                          Comment

                            #103
                            Re: So lost

                            Have you eaten anything now? If not, can you at least try some toast?
                            There's two ways of looking at the holes in your shoes
                            You can dig the ventilation... or you can sing the blues

                            I didn't come this far to only come this far.

                            Comment

                              #104
                              Re: So lost

                              I had some crackers. I've been drinking lots of water too. I just have no energy which scares me. With my husband leaving out for his trial, it will be just me and my son and I have visions of me just dropping dead or something and him finding me. I'm sure my blood pressure is high but checking it would probably lead me down the rabbit hole of getting more despondent which in turn will drive it up more.

                              Comment

                                #105
                                Re: So lost

                                Hey there, try to sleep when he is at school. Or if he's out of school can you arrange a play date at another house?

                                I think its time to see a doctor friend. This is not normal. My husband is out of town a lot too and I have two sons, 15 and 16. It is a lot of responsibility to do all the cooking, cleaning, etc. Laundry is the kicker for me! But, it has also been my excuse to go to boozeville as my hubs does not like it when I drink. So I get lonely, bored, whatever, and turn to the wine. Of course, then I get lonelier, more bored, agitated, less gets done, I get more depressed, and off we go! To no where.

                                In my humble opinion, take it or leave it, your have two main tasks right now, today. One priority is making sure your son is safe, fed and cared for. Allow yourself to ask for help if you need to, its ok. A second, but equal and super important, priority is YOU. See a doctor, go to AA, call a resource in the community. ANYTHING else can wait (laundry, cleaning, extra "stuff" we think we need to do . . .)

                                All booze out of the house is a great first step, nice job!! I am right there with you. Hubs just got home last week so now I'm on Day 2.

                                Let's turn that path around. Join us. You can do this and you deserve it.

                                Onward! AG

                                Comment

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