Since the hospital, I’ve had that derealization panic terror several times. I take medication as soon as I feel it but alcohol is what helps. Alcohol is the only thing that numbs it enough that I’m not terrified. And I don’t know what to do because I am a smart woman, and I know it’s also making it worse. I have no idea where to turn. I have not disclosed the alcohol to anyone. I just have no idea.
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I don’t know how
I have PTSD. I have had it a long time. I recovered in 2012, went overseas and experienced more and severe trauma. I developed PTSD again in 2017. I had my moments of alcohol but I recovered. In 2018 I thought I had recovered, but I started hallucinating. I won’t go into detail but it was bad and has continued to be bad. Late in 2018 I thought I was dying. I went to the ER, I was so dissociated I couldn’t talk, I couldn’t explain what was happening and eventually lost all sense of where I was. I only know this because I was told. It wasn’t alcohol related. I’ve has every test ever and I’ve been told the hallucinations and severe derealization is ptsd related.
Since the hospital, I’ve had that derealization panic terror several times. I take medication as soon as I feel it but alcohol is what helps. Alcohol is the only thing that numbs it enough that I’m not terrified. And I don’t know what to do because I am a smart woman, and I know it’s also making it worse. I have no idea where to turn. I have not disclosed the alcohol to anyone. I just have no idea. -
Re: I don’t know how
Welcome Aryuriana,that sounds awful and I'm sorry you have to deal with the PTSD have you told your doctor about your severe symptoms? Maybe some new medication or an increase of your current one is needed, therapy maybe? Alcohol in the long run will only make things worse,I don't have much advise but just wanted to say hello and give you a ((hug)) your post touched my heart and I feel for you, hope you stick aroundI have too much shit to do today and tomorrow to drink:sohappy:
I'm taking care of the "tomorrow me":thumbsup:
Drinkin won't help a damn thing! Will only make me sick for DAYS and that ugly, spacey dumb feeling-no thanks!
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Re: I don’t know how
Originally posted by paulywogg View PostWelcome Aryuriana,that sounds awful and I'm sorry you have to deal with the PTSD have you told your doctor about your severe symptoms? Maybe some new medication or an increase of your current one is needed, therapy maybe? Alcohol in the long run will only make things worse,I don't have much advise but just wanted to say hello and give you a ((hug)) your post touched my heart and I feel for you, hope you stick around
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Re: I don’t know how
Hi Ayuriana
Welcome and sorry to hear that you are not feeling the best. Al will definitely not make any feelings you have any better but time away from al will definitely help with anxiety issues and maybe the others will fall into place.
Head over to the Newbies Nest and say hello. Maybe you could try to not drink for 30 days and see how you feel. Being accountable helps enormously and we all understand how hard it is to stop drinking. I never thought i could be 5 years sober in a million years but here i am.AF free 1st December 2013 - 1st December 2022 - 9 years of freedom
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Re: I don’t know how
Hello Aruiyana,
I understand some of what you are saying as I too tend towards feeling dissociated, and dissociating when I am stressed. Alcohol was the glue that I used to hold myself together, and it worked!...until it didn’t.
I am reading a book now that [MENTION=18725]NoSugar[/MENTION] recommended called “Never Enough: The Neuroscience and Experience of Addiction”, and it explains right in there that alcohol reduces anxiety, so its use is thus more reinforcing to those of us who are naturally anxious!
But, then getting addicted to it and therefore having withdrawal symptoms also produces anxiety, so you can see that there’s a catch-22 there. In other words, it ultimately ends up causing anxiety as well.
We are glad to have you here with us as you learn to let go of the crutch of alcohol, as we are all doing.Last edited by Slo; April 2, 2019, 05:38 PM.Once a pickle, never a cucumber again.
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Re: I don’t know how
Originally posted by Ayuriana View PostI have PTSD. I have had it a long time. I recovered in 2012, went overseas and experienced more and severe trauma. I developed PTSD again in 2017. I had my moments of alcohol but I recovered. In 2018 I thought I had recovered, but I started hallucinating. I won’t go into detail but it was bad and has continued to be bad. Late in 2018 I thought I was dying. I went to the ER, I was so dissociated I couldn’t talk, I couldn’t explain what was happening and eventually lost all sense of where I was. I only know this because I was told. It wasn’t alcohol related. I’ve has every test ever and I’ve been told the hallucinations and severe derealization is ptsd related.
Since the hospital, I’ve had that derealization panic terror several times. I take medication as soon as I feel it but alcohol is what helps. Alcohol is the only thing that numbs it enough that I’m not terrified. And I don’t know what to do because I am a smart woman, and I know it’s also making it worse. I have no idea where to turn. I have not disclosed the alcohol to anyone. I just have no idea.
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