Sometimes it's easy to forget how bad it was, now that I am sober. It's like recalling bad days from high school, you know it happened, everyone else remembers, but it doesn't quiet seem real.
I came off the Campral a month - 6 weeks ago. I've had no cravings whatsoever. I am really thrilled about this as last time I tried going off it I was drinking again soon after. This time is different though as I no longer have the illusion that I can moderate, or that I will ever be able to drink like a normal person.
When I think about the past 9 months, it's been one of the worst years of my life in some way, and yet, one of the best.
In November my dad died and my mum had yet another life saving operation on her 5th matastisised cancer.
In December I stopped drinking
In January I met someone who turned out to be a total psycopath.
In Feb I got pregnant, but didn't know it. I also started going to an alcohol and drug counsellor.
In early April I terminated. The hardest decision I have ever made in my life. I never saw the father again.
In late April, my mum came to visit. I had to hid my guilt and greif from her.
In June and May, I just lived.
In July, my 17 year old first born moved out. I am not ready for her to leave me.
In August I had to put my dear old dog to sleep.
In September I will be a year older, and
I AM STILL SOBER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This month is also the beggining of the healthier me, I am walking, eating well and taking care of myself.
It's time to grow up.
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