A Journey Of A Thousand Miles...

[FallenAngel]

Begins With One Single Step

[FallenAngel]

A Journey Of A Thousand Miles...

Hello & welcome!


To all that enter here .... welcome.
Join me in the journey... the discovery... the magic of embracing life as a new person... one that is sober & full of gratitude for being given a 2nd chance for a whole new life.

[FallenAngel]

A Journey Of A Thousand Miles...

Let me introduce myself

Although I am new to this site, I have been AF for 7 months. Recently I went looking for a place that I could find support, and also lend a helping hand with what I have learned so far in my quits.

I quit smoking about a year and a half ago. By the time I reached my 1 year milestone, I had gone through a total transformation of the person I was only 12 short months previous. With my new knowledge & experience of winning the battle over one addiction, I felt ready to take on anther. Two days after my 1 yr smobriety milestone, I quit drinking.

And so began my journey to find the the person I lost so many years ago.With a strange combination of determintaion & fear, I set forth.... wondering who I would find.... would I like this person, and even more importantly.... would they be able to forgive me for all the years that I have abandoned them?

These past several months have taken me through a gamut of emotions... everything form "f**k it".... to "this is the BEST day of my life!" .. oh man, what a rollercoaster ride it's been.... lol ... and I know it's going to be a long time until it rolls to a stop & that I can get off, and stand on my own.... with both feet planted firmly on the ground.

I was fortunate to have a good online friend that helped me through the first couple of months...without their support, I don't think I could have made it through the first stages, let alone quit in the first place. Although they are no longer a part of my life, I will forever be grateful for their friendship & support.

Others that I have relied on for support have also faded into the distance, but what I have come to realize is that this is a natural cycle of life, and that we should be thankful for the time that we did share with these people & what they had to offer us at the time.


I would like to share a beautiful sentiment with you, unfortunately I do not know the author:

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.
Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met , our desire fulfilled, their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.


LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons,
things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

[KatieSmiles]

A Journey Of A Thousand Miles...

Welcome Fallen

Congratulations on 7 months! Very well done!

K

[AMELIA]

A Journey Of A Thousand Miles...

Welcome Fallen.
I liked your posts and quote very much.
I am very much in that place (your first post). I have been drinking excessively for 17 years and I am sick of everything about it. I have recently moved and managed to rid myself of much of the external stress that I felt.
I have managed to get myself to an environment that is relaxing and will enable me to live out my long held dreams (on the work front).
Alcohol is no longer an option for me if I want to realise my dreams.
Thank you for both your posts, they struck a chord with me.
Thank you for reaching out and congratulations on your 7 months of sobriety. I can imagine that what your write is so true about being sober for an extended time.
I look forward to experiencing it for myself.
xx

[FallenAngel]

A Journey Of A Thousand Miles...

[QUOTE=KatieSmiles;291700]Welcome Fallen
QUOTE]

Thanks so much for the welcome & congrats Katie!
I may have fallen, but I did manage to get back on my feet again

[FallenAngel]

A Journey Of A Thousand Miles...

Hi Buddy!

tkeene;291733 wrote: I look forward to sharing this journey with you.

It's about time you got your butt over here!



Ready for the ride of your life?? LOL

[Doggygirl]

A Journey Of A Thousand Miles...

Hi Fallen, what a great story you have to share. Congratulations on your 7 months of sobriety and 1.5 years + of smobriety. You are proof that this can be done!

Thank you also for sharing the story of friendships for a reason / season / lifetime. I haven't been reminded of that idea for a very, very long time. And yet I believe it is true, gives a good way of viewing the many, many people we meet in forums like this one. We will no doubt develop relationships of all three kinds - and all are important to our journeys.

I am only on AF Day 2 (well, technically I started Day 3 at 3PM CST! ) But I hope I can join you in this thread because my goal is long term abstainance. I've had a couple of false starts beginning with a 60 day AF stretch from early July '07 - early Sept. '07. I was really starting to love my AF life and be happy in it. And then the Beast tricked me into thinking I could have just one drink. For those who are able to moderate - that's great. But this fall and the subsequent one showed me that I cannot EVER drink. I can't entertain those thoughts. After falling on a very happy day in September, it took me until Nov 1 to get back on the wagon. That's one heck of a too long fall. That AF stretch only lasted a week. Mr. Doggy and I got in a argument, and the Beast once again convinced me to use that as an excuse to not care if I drank. And there I was, drinking daily again until March 13 at 3PM when I poured it all out.

I have to fight this Beast with everything I've got. I'm sure I'm damaging my health, and I'm throwing away my life one day at a time. I've written quite a lot about this in "My New Story Starts Here" in the stories section. I'm already being somewhat repetitive but LOL no reason to go WAY over the top! Here I am, and I don't want to drink any more.

I too quit nicotine just over one year ago. I am SO glad to be rid of that demon. My desire for alcohol escalated after I quit smoking. But things were so bad between Mr. Doggy and me over my smoking that I was actually entertaining suicidal thoughts from time to time. (Mr. Doggy quit about 2 years before me, and understandably got really sick of the stench, my hacking cough, etc. etc.) It was difficult and the first couple of months were sheer hell. But it was SO worth it. I rarely think of smoking now. I can't wait to get over the hurdle where I don't think about drinking all the time either.

And yet I know the lifelong vigilance will be required with both of these additions. I never consider myself a non-smoker or non-drinker. I equate those terms to people who have never smoked, or people who never were problem drinkers. These people never have a reason to reach for a cigarette or with for a cocktail to handle a problem, or to celebrate the day, or to buy time to think, etc. They have other coping mechanisms and smoking / drinking don't occur to them.

As an ex-smoker and ex-drinker, I know that to some degree I will always need to be prepared for some level of thought - no matter how mile or strong - of using these addictions as coping mechanisms long into the future. While I would never presume to tell anyone else what terminology they should use, I am trying to re-program myself as an ex-smoker and ex-drinker so I never forget that danger will always be present for me in a way that is NOT the case for Never-Smokers / Never Problem Drinkers.

FA, I look forward to getting to know you better - one step at a time. Do you plan to come her and sort of check in each day? If so, I'll be happy to join you for a daily step if you'll have me.

Thanks for starting this!!

DG
***

[FallenAngel]

A Journey Of A Thousand Miles...

On A More Serious Note...

Aww shucks tkeene, you're making me :blush:
(doesn't mean you have to stop with the compliments though) tee hee

I think things work both ways...
you were the one that extended your hand out to welcome me when I first got here ...and in a very short time we have become friends as well ..... I thank you for your kindness & generousity

We are all on the same journey, the only difference is that we join in on the path at different times... following in the footsteps of those before us.
Thank you for joining me on this incredible journey.



OOOO... I just discovered the [More] button! mg ..do you know what this means???? The MONSTER has been unleashed!! :teeter:

[FallenAngel]

A Journey Of A Thousand Miles...

Welcome my friend!

Doggygirl;291798 wrote: ....until March 13 at 3PM when I poured it all out.

***

Yes... that was the first post I saw of yours... and I was so elated about you doing that!!
As I already told you, I made the same gesture by pouring 5 gallons of wine down the drain (to the horror of all our drinking friends that cried "why didn't you phone me?? I would have taken it!!). What we did is very symbolic... although a very simple gesture, it's a physical, visual act that we have now attached to the beginning of our sobriety. Even after 7 months, I still look back at that moment which is etched in my mind, and it's like that is the very moment that I no longer let alcohol control my life. Kudos for taking a picture of that DG! ......make copies...keep one in your wallet, one on the mirror that you look at first thing in the morning... and wherever else a quick inspiration is needed.

I read your "My New Story Starts Here"... and I could see that we have many things in common.... so much of what you wrote holds true for me also. Like you, I know that I can never have even a puff on a cigarette again.... that would surely turn me back into a full-fledged smoker in no time flat. And that's what I have come to the realization with drinking too... I can't have just one. I would love to moderate my drinking & only have one now & then... but time after time, I have found that this does not work for me. So for as hard as it was to decide to quit for good & never have another drink, I knew it was the only way that I could break free from my addiction.

As far as this thread goes,
I would like to think of it as our "homebase"... a place to hang our hat, a place where we can always find our friends for fun & support. I really like your idea of the daily "step"...that would be a great way for everyone involved to move forward each day in their journey... I like that alot!

You know, I should have thought of a better name before I signed up here! LOL ..... not sure if I'm liking being called "fallen" all the time! :catroll:
Maybe we could abbreviate it...let's see.... ummmmm... F'nAngel.....uhhhh no .....how about F**nAngel...no..... that don't work very well either........ Uggghhh! I give up! :surrender: Any ideas??

[FallenAngel]

A Journey Of A Thousand Miles...

AMELIA;291735 wrote: I have been drinking excessively for 17 years and I am sick of everything about it. I have recently moved and managed to rid myself of much of the external stress that I felt.
I have managed to get myself to an environment that is relaxing and will enable me to live out my long held dreams (on the work front).
Alcohol is no longer an option for me if I want to realise my dreams.

Hello Amelia, so nice to meet you!
From what you wrote, you have apparently made some very big changes in your life... good for you!
Taking alcohol out of the equation will make you appreciate life so much more, I know for me, in these past few months I have noticed how much better I am at coping with stress & life in general.
I don't know how long you have been quit, but give it time... you will find little by little, that the days start getting easier & you feel more comfortable in your skin. Of course we will always have bad days.... but at least now they seem more manageable & further apart.

May all your dreams come true Amelia!

[Doggygirl]

A Journey Of A Thousand Miles...

Hi Amelia and tkeene!! t - I'm really excited to pick up where we left off - it's so good to be back. And ditto that Amelia - if you have a gallery or something I'd love to see it too. I can't paint one bare wall beige myself. I KNOW I have talents!! I just haven't found them yet!!

Hey FA - How about Frickin'AwesomeAngel?? Hey - if FindingMyFeet can become FindingMySelf then you can become a different type of Angel too.

OK - I'm off to pick out a movie to watch and just relax. And hopefully get more sleep than last night. But if not, I'm ready to just deal with it. My Valerian Root awaits me.

DG
***

[FallenAngel]

A Journey Of A Thousand Miles...

What about MsB.Havin??

Doggygirl;291878 wrote: Hey FA - How about Frickin'AwesomeAngel?? Hey - if FindingMyFeet can become FindingMySelf then you can become a different type of Angel too.
***

If there's an echo in the room, am I now FA FA???

and... if FindingMyFeet can become FindingMySelf..... does that mean my new name should be FallenAndCan'tGetUp??

[FallenAngel]

A Journey Of A Thousand Miles...

I thought you were my friend

tkeene;291931 wrote: Well can you??? FA, FACGU?? who the hec are you anyway?? Why did you pick fallen angel anyho??? Inquiring minds NEED to know...t. (hugs gf..u da bestist :-)_

LMFAO!.....
I don't know!!! LOL

Let's see.... it could be something really deep like "I'm an angel that has come down from above to show the way".... :yeahright: Oh, I know!... how about I got kicked out of heaven's gate for being really :devil: (more likely *snicker*)....
ffs.... I don't frickin know..... there I was one morning... :ranger trying to come up with an ID so I could join you guys.....now look where's it's gotten me..... maybe I should go out in the garden & eat worms *sniffle* :anon:

[doubter]

A Journey Of A Thousand Miles...

Hello Everyone

Saying hello to all the friends here...
Just gone through all the posts by Angel ( ya, the 'Fallen' truly sucks) and all u outers, I solemnly beseech you to read all his posts once again carefully to find out who he is ( as some of us are curious to find out)....
Then, you will agree with my realisation that..
..He is an author-genius-incognito who wants to use this forum to further his quest for the Man Booker / Pulitzer and all the other million literary prizes that are up for grabs, in the process converting this forum for poor alcohol-afflicted souls like us to a literature/art appreciation course. If Angel continues lurking here for some more time, RJ probably will have to call it quits and start another website as MWO might become a haunt for the literary types....lol..
Warm welcome, Angel. Your posts are simply awesome.
Doubter