I don't know why

[Mags]

I don't know why this is such a difficult time for me. This should be such a happy time. My teaching is almost over, and I am winding down for the semester, though that means shitloads of papers to grade and final exams to make up.

This should not be a difficult time. I have been sober for a few years and love my sobriety. Why is it still hard sometimes? I honestly don't know. Sometimes the beast just keeps trying. I can't let him do that. I won't and I'll be OK.

I'm sorry to bother you all. But you are my friends and who else can I talk to? The beast is at my door but I won't open it. I will not open it.

Thanks for listening..........

[greeneyes]

I don't know why

Aw my dear Mags..... Three years is so fabulous. For many, it took a lot longer to get to the point of looking for help and as my addiction therapist says, it took a long time to get here and it will take a long time to get out. Hubby said someone relapsed after 8 years. I guess you always have to have BGP on and don't answer the door, unless it's me. :sendinglove:

[Cinders]

I don't know why

Mags,

I have found that my body and mind do not react to stress while in the midst of the stressors. I tend to fall apart afterwards.

You are undergoing the same phenomenon right now. You are finally about to kick back and relax and ski naked for a while and NOW your body and mind are reacting to it.

Of course, we all know The Beast lurks around at every opportunity to strike.

No worries. You can kick him to the curb!!

Love ya,
Cindi

[greeneyes]

I don't know why

OK, Cindi... I had to LOL at ski naked. May be in my tag line after I dig out of the hole. Move from BGP to I SKI NAKED!

[tlrgs]

I don't know why

hi there..mags..you did the right thing by writing and questioning yourself. very good way to control your thoughts and i dont think al will be bothering you at all .keep coming back . peace and god bless

[Determinatrix]

I don't know why

Cheering you on, Mags.
Stay vigilant.

Dx

[lucky 2.0]

I don't know why

Breathe mags- don't forget to breathe. You will be fine. I have faith in you.

[stollies1]

I don't know why

I'm glad you wrote this Mags..
I'm 19 months AF now but sometimes the beast comes to my door too.
Its nice to know you can come here and just say it out loud, don't ya think?
Love to all
Victoria xxooxx

[Captnjack]

I don't know why

Mags hang in this difficult time shall pass
hey always do this cuddlle yourself I mean wrap yourself in your self . for a bit

love youre self

danny

[southernbelle47]

I don't know why

:h You Mags!

Great job!
You're probably tired and need some time to recover from the rush!
Do you have plans to look forward to ?
It is good to rest, but in our hurry up world, it's hard to just stop and have time on our hands.

Pamper yourself....spa day....read a good book...excerise....plant something.....get outside and walk.
As I sat outside this morning , I read from Psalms that "God has put my feet in His nice quiet garden to speak sweetly to me."
It's my job to "be still" and listen. Try it!

:lNancy

[july232007]

I don't know why

Mags,

All good thoughts. You can roll with this like a ship at a secure mooring. You are that, well anchored in a AF life.

Take care,

July

[SKendall]

I don't know why

Mags, I know it is tough right now, life has it's ups and downs. You are magnificent and you will get through this.:l

[retteacher]

I don't know why

Mags: I really look up to you so much for the many, many days you have been sober. Just reading that you love your sobriety so much is so very heartening to us that are in the beginning stages. Yes, you'll get through this. I'm glad you shared your thoughts...keeping them inside & hidden can't be a good thing. Mary

[1967]

I don't know why

I understand why you were feeling as aforementioned in this posting. I teach as well. End of term is THE worst! It is the same for teachers and students. There is an insurmountable amount of work to be done in a defined amount of time. Plus, everyone is cranky and irritable! I am sure you made it through without AL. I was still drinking heavily this end of term. It is hard to cope with all the stressors. I am taking the summer to clean up my act and stick to my guns come Fall. It isn't going to be easy. This end of term I had similar thoughts. I needed a clear head, so I cut back on the vino. You already had a clear head, so perhaps it was the drinker rationale stepping in? Those drinker thoughts... I should be fine w/out AL but I'm not. Crap. This just confirms I better not touch AL, period.

I hope you planned something nice for yourself this summer? I did but it didn't work out as planned. I'll figure something out for August. I'm going back to my old strategy of "small successes deserve small rewards." Hmm, I think I'll go to Paris when I reach 6 months of sobriety! Ha! That's it!!! One year I get a first class ticket to the moon!

Take care.

[louise]

I don't know why

I had someone say that teaching was like running a marathon race and the end of the year is like pushing to the finish.