Chief:
Here is my theory, of why these things get us at weird times.
Just my current pet theory of course.
I figure that during our drinking days, we drank to cope or to become "sociable" in situations 1 through 525 say. It put an imprint in our brains, that this works as a great survival system emotionally or mentally, since the unpleasant stress, or reduced inhibitions were temporarily suspended.
So, after our brains and bodies figure out that this system is actually destroying us, we get sober. This may take just a couple of years, or in the more stubborn cases (like mine), over 35 years.
So then situations 1 through 525 arise, and with that the urge is triggered again. After a while, we get better and better at dealing with the triggers and situations. After a year, or two, or three, we get quite a few things worked out. There are some situations, like number 57 out of 525 that are what I call the "killer" triggers, and they cause a massive storm. Been there, done that many times. So we have to figure out a new strategy to deal with it.
Brigid may have had the better description, on escaping that number 57 out of 525. As we get each thing in ourselves worked out, then we go on, and are fine for a while until the next one hits. Say number 108 out of 525. Then a storm hits again. We get through it though, by applying things we learned.
Getting sober is learning how to deal with all those things over time. Learning how to live again, without the crutch of the bottle to tide us over.
So I fully expect number 238 out of 525 to get me any day now. It will just happen, and maybe the only way I could avoid it, is to stay in my bed and never get out. Well, that is no good, so I got to get with my own program, and do battle.
It is part of the process what you are experiencing now. We help each other by saying I've been there too. The thing is, your storm right now, is maybe one I have not been through yet. So that is what keeps me on my toes, and drives my determination. We can share these storms here on this forum, and it does help.
Will I ever get all 525 out of 525 worked out? Probably not in this lifetime, but I can keep on working. I get better at it, every time I fly through a storm. Getting through those hurricanes is rough, especially when you are in the eye, and think the storm is already passed, only to hit the wind going the other way hard.
But we learn, and the air clears a little more after each one.
Neil
Comment