Be Careful What You Wish For...

[KateH1]

Be Careful What You Wish For...

AA...thanks for that post......I could really relate to many of those wishes! Amazing the difference a year of sobriety makes!

Peri...I agree, we all begin with the thought of wanting to drink like "Normal People".....although, the more I learn, the more I wonder how many drinkers are truly in control of their drinking and how much of it is our own fantasy about other drinkers?

When I came here, I wanted to stop the madness of problem drinking......I wanted to "Learn" to moderate......I quickly realized that moderating was not part of my DNA.....yep....I mourned the thoughts that I had imagined of becoming a "moderate drinker"....a drinker who to taking a glass of wine was not a problem and would not lead to disaster......Nope! Not me!

Now, I can honestly say that I am grateful to be a non-drinker.....I love life without alcohol....I no longer fantasize and mourn the drinking of others......and definitely not drinking myself! Give yourself time without drinking.......I think your thoughts will change!! Best Wishes!

[Heavenly]

Be Careful What You Wish For...

Thanks for bumping this up .... just re-reading it gives me goosebumps ... what a reminder of me too ...

[FloridaBoy]

Be Careful What You Wish For...

periwinkle;465614 wrote: I wish I could drink like a normal person... Oh yea, I'm not a normal person!

I mean that in a kinda' funny way on one hand, but kinda' struggling with it the past couple days on the other hand.

So where do I go with that one?

We are normal...in many ways...but most of us have no AL off switch. *I* think I was born that way.

[boozehag]

Be Careful What You Wish For...

I am starting to come to the conclusion (for myself) that successful modding and AF may merge at some point down the track. That when you reach the point that RJ talks about in the book (when you can take it or leave it) that you would mostly choose to leave it as at that stage in the journey it doesnt add anything to your life and as peri says you just feel so much better without it. My understanding from others posts is that is what RJ ended up doing too. Any thoughts on that one?
BH

[A Work in Progress]

Be Careful What You Wish For...

Yeah, BH, I think you have a VERY good point. I have been finding that it feels as if I have a lot in common with successful "modders," much more in common with them than with folks who are still so very scared about "never drinking again," so very obsessed with alcohol. Successful modders seem to find a way to, essentially, marginalize alcohol to the outskirts of their lives. If it starts getting to be too important to them, then they go AF for a while, right away. The whole thing is to come to a place in which alcohol is NOT SO DAMNED IMPORTANT! [Sorry about the yelling but I think this is such a central point.... ]

Having a mind-set in which we are constantly thinking about drinking, thinking about NOT drinking, etc., is the hallmark of the "alcoholic" (or alcohol-dependent person, whatever... ). It's not just physiology alone... it has so much to do with the way we THINK about the stuff. It just really isn't that big a deal... unless we let it be... And we DO have some choices in the matter... we are not the prisoners of our own thoughts, unless we allow ourselves to be.

[boozehag]

Be Careful What You Wish For...

Yes I agree I have said a few times that I think there is actually very little difference between a modder and an AF'er - its just a different approach but with the same end goal. To me all this talk about the two concepts being incompatible or mutually exclusive is not really right and those who are working both aspects should be able to learn a lot from each other. Maybe it is a bit like discovering you are allergic to something so you eliminate it from your diet altogether and then later on some might try to gradually reintroducing it into their diet to see if they can tolerate it in small doses if it would be easier or more compatible with their lifestyle to do so. Some people may be more allergic than others and cant have that substance again but others may be able to have it in small doses. Either way you would hope that the sharing of all knowledge about the allergy would be of help to all concerned.
BH