I am less critical of other people?

[AAthlete]

Below is a partial quote from a Daily Reflections reading that hit home for me this morning.

"I am less critical of other people?....... I used to run people down all the time. I realize now that it was because I wanted unconsciously to build myself up. I was envious of people who lived normal lives. I couldn't understand why I couldn't be like them. And so I ran them down. I called them sissies or hypocrites.I was always looking for faults in the other person....."

It hit home because because this is still something that I have to confront from time to time in my sobriety a 1 1/2 later. My self-esteem was so low that, in my mind, I would come up with any way possible to be better than someone else so that I would in turn feel better about myself. How funny to look back and recognize that, as a functional alcoholic, my warped mind truly believed that I was better then everyone else...

As I mentioned, I still have those thoughts, but they are certainly less frequent. I also now have a way to recognize and deal with them. Whereas I used to embrace and look forward to them, now I try to turn away from them and let them go. If I don't then most likely my internal resentments are going to build, which in turn could put my sobriety at risk. It truly does go back to changing our mindset and outlook upon life...

[retteacher]

I am less critical of other people?

Athlete: Judgementalism & all the accompanying twisted thinking are very much a part of me too. I discovered it 21 years ago when I first entered Alanon & did the inventory steps. I have to be on my guard for it at all times. There are certain people in my life that really activate it. In addition to being a self-esteem issue, it's also about control for me. I want others to live up to my specifications. I've come a long way in accepting people the way they are. One of the VERY few benefits of having a drinking problem is that I've become a more compassionate person. Everyone (including myself) has their demons. Thanks for the quote. Mary

[Cinders]

I am less critical of other people?

retteacher;466548 wrote: Athlete: Judgementalism & all the accompanying twisted thinking are very much a part of me too. I discovered it 21 years ago when I first entered Alanon & did the inventory steps. I have to be on my guard for it at all times. There are certain people in my life that really activate it. In addition to being a self-esteem issue, it's also about control for me. I want others to live up to my specifications. I've come a long way in accepting people the way they are. One of the VERY few benefits of having a drinking problem is that I've become a more compassionate person. Everyone (including myself) has their demons. Thanks for the quote. Mary
Great thought, Mary. Everyone (including myself) has their demons.

You know, the old biblical "Judge not lest ye be judged?" It seems so silly sometimes but then we find ourselves doing it. I notice it very often in my hubby which makes me realize I am projecting. It must be one of my faults if I notice it.

Yep. It is.

Thank you AA and Mary.

Love,
Cindi

[irishlady]

I am less critical of other people?

Hi AA, I agree with what you say. I was always looking for the negative in people and telling myself how usless such and such a person was. I would be critical of how they did a job, what they wore and what they said. I think all that time I was really being critical of myself. Now, I always try to see the positive in people, the change didn't happen overnight, but like you, I'm still working on it.

[Guest]

I am less critical of other people?

AA,
I reckon I'm actually less critical of myself these days. I doubt there was anyone more critical of me when I think of it and my expectations of myself were totally unrealistic... no wonder I drank. When I look back I was one hard a**ssed person, for sure (says she hoping that she has softened). Another thing is that I see stuff with people now. The more they show a perfect house, or a fragile and fake smile, the more I see through it... freaky huh?

Louise, glad to see the green cat back.
Brigid

[stollies1]

I am less critical of other people?

Hi everyone,
I find that along with being less critical, I have infinitely more patience with those around me. I am much less angry and far more tolerant. Jeeze I must have been a cow....:H
Being sober, I find that my emotions are so much more real..Does that make sense?
AA great going on 18 months, its wonderful to see the old MWO alumnae doing so well.
Lovely to see you too Louise (and the green hat) you are in my thoughts often and Brigid love to you always..
Love
Victoria xxooxx

[hippie37]

I am less critical of other people?

AA I was seriously only sent this yesterday in my e-mails by a friend and it seemed so poignant to your post that I thought I would share it.



A young couple moves into a new neighborhood.

The next morning while they are eating breakfast, the young
woman sees her neighbor hanging the wash outside.

"That laundry is not very clean," she said. "She doesn't
know
how to wash correctly. Perhaps she needs better laundry soap."
Her husband looked on, but remained silent.

Every time her neighbor would hang her wash to dry, the young
woman would make the same comments.

About one month later, the woman was surprised to see a nice
clean wash on the line and said to her husband: "Look, she has
learned how to wash correctly. I wonder who taught her this?"

The husband said, "I got up early this morning and cleaned our
windows."

And so it is with life. What we see when watching others
depends on the purity of the window through which we look.

Love and Happiness
Hippie
xx

[Starlight Impress Forever]

I am less critical of other people?

Your post hit a chord with myself, AA.........thanks. It has certainly given me much to contemplate.

Hip.........that wee story is so poignant.......perhaps the faults we can so often identify in others are not so much their faults, but rather, those are the faults which lie deep within ourselves.

Star x