As most of my friends and long timers here know, I found mwo on 1st March last year and have been completely sober, except for a tiny, inconsequential slip on two consecutive days. I thought that I was a social drinker but looking back, my drinking had escalated to a point where I had got involved in a very embarrassing bar room brawl with my drinking buddies. I still feel absolutely mortified reading my first post here, on 1st March 2008.
My first post :
https://www.mywayout.org/community/f7...tml#post282292
The initial days of the quit were tough, especially because I had to make drastic changes in my lifestyle and also find fulfilling activities to fill the vacuum with. The support and motivation that I received at mwo during the initial phase has been instrumental in keeping my quit going. And I found a lifetime worthy friendship too.
One such activity for which I rediscovered my long forgotten passion was running (Reading and volunteering being the others). Became an adult-onset runner & started running fairly regularly again. Staying away from booze gave me the time, energy and discipline to keep at it. I’ve been posting on and off on the fitness thread about my fitness activities.
We have a Company-organized annual event – a five km run – every January. Took part in it last year, and finished with a time of around 28 minutes. True amateur runner time. For the last couple of months, I was preparing for it by running on alternate days. About three weeks ago, the day I had a six km training run , I fell sick in the evening and had serious breathing trouble at night. Went to my physician who, after a battery of tests, diagnosed bronchial asthma. Prescribed medication ( corticosteroid, broncodilator, the textbook treatment ) to be taken for a full month. And of course, asked me to desist from running for the nonce.
I was truly crestfallen at that point of time. I probably took to running to be an important facilitator for my sobriety. Had dreams ( no, a goal) of running atleast a half-marathon by the end of this calendar year. There was a touch of irony in this. All the while that I was a pack-a-day smoker and a two-fisted drinker, I had no major health troubles. And now, after giving up both these debilitating addictions, .I find myself with a presumably chronic disease. Somehow the situation didn’t seem right.
I didn’t run for the last two weeks but was determined to take part in the Race on 24th Jan, even if it meant that I had to walk the whole distance. I started to feel very strongly that my sobriety depended on my taking part.
Cut to race day, 24th Jan. Got up feeling strong and refreshed. Had my morning puff – of the broncodilator. And was determined to give it my best shot. Joined the other 140 runners at the starting line. When the race started suddenly felt that I was in the ‘zone’ and felt I had an excellent run. It almost felt that the Run shall probably determine the road I would take regarding my future sobriety.
Finished eighth overall and fourth in my category ( employees under 45). With my personal best ever timing of 24:30 – a clean three minutes less than I ever achieved !!
The feeling of triumph that I felt at the finish line is indescribable. Almost felt like Rocky Balboa running up the steps of the Philedelphia Art Museum(pardon the imagery – perils of being a popular- film buff ). Felt like I’ve bested both my addictions- the nicodemon and the al-devil – and my doctor’s verdict too. Adds to my belief that we can be temporarily defeated, but never destroyed.
What’s the point of putting this insignificant private victory up here in a forum for people with alcohol-related issues? Wouldn’t it be better posting this in a hardcore runners’ forum or its equivalent? Or a forum for newbie asthmatics even?
I thought about this. And came to the conclusion that mwo is the perfect place to put up this experience. For a number of reasons. I am now pretty sure that finding mwo has been a life-altering experience for me. Its almost like I was Doubter b.m. (before mwo) and karmayogi a.m. For the past eleven months, a lot of friends have come to know me here at mwo and I too have immensely benefited by knowing them all. Mwo is my second home now.
Also, we come across a lot of newbies coming into mwo, feeling lost and not knowing where to turn to. Just wanted to assure them that I was there too and there is very broad daylight at the end of the tunnel, if only we keep the faith. We can raise above our circumstances.
And of course to thank all the friends here who have accompanied me in my journey of sobriety for the last eleven months. Oh, I can cite the names of a dozen regulars here.
At mwo, I’ve also found a friend for life – Angel ( Okay, the ‘fallen’ part of the screenname still, after all these months, sucks. Don’t you agree Angel?…lol.)- who has been a wonderful companion and sobriety coach in this journey forward. I really don’t know how to show my gratitude to you, Angel. Thanks for everything.
I know that I still have a hell of a lot of inner work to do. Staying sober gives me the necessary motivation to ‘keep at it’.
And for all those who had the patience to go through this novel – thanks for listening.
Peace to all.
Karmayogi
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