Becoming Alarmed at Advice Being Given on MWO

[Boss.man]

Becoming Alarmed at Advice Being Given on MWO

Kate, please keep posting. Your ideas are valuable, and we are a community. A community can respect many ideas.

[Pan]

Becoming Alarmed at Advice Being Given on MWO

A Work in Progress;536008 wrote: Hey, Panicked.... you OK? What can we do to help you?

Zero. But thanks. I'm in a bad way right now, but I'll try and sort it all out after some sleep. Time I went and got some.

[Pan]

Becoming Alarmed at Advice Being Given on MWO

wednesday I am giving up the booze and ciggies. You can send your messages of strength to me, if that's okay...

[A Work in Progress]

Becoming Alarmed at Advice Being Given on MWO

OK Panicked... consider this a message of strength, to you. And a suggestion: read through the "Tool Box" thread (on "Goals" > "Monthly Abstinence"); it has a lot of very practical ideas about formulating a good plan, getting and staying motivated, etc.

I hope you will stick around and let us know how you are doing. The daily AF thread would be a good place for to read and post daily, if you want a lot of good support... It starts up every day, also in the "Monthly Abstinence" section.

[Accountable for Me]

Becoming Alarmed at Advice Being Given on MWO

Hugs to you panicked. It really can get better. I didn't think I would ever get out of my drinking H*ll; but I have.

We understand what you are going through. Go drink some water and hit the hay - OK? Come and join us on Monthy Abs. It is a great bunch! We will be here for you! xoxoxoxo

[gyco]

Becoming Alarmed at Advice Being Given on MWO

hi kate again,i do hope my post was not offensive,i like you have been here for a while,i also have been chastised for my views,alchoholic, offends many people,with study many here would find they just drink to much,seriousness of the drinker to stop for ever is a dream,percentage wise,80 percent of us will return to our routes,[drinking]tis is a proven fact,one of the things that intised me here was the openess,of the people ,most havent a clue if there just drunks or alchoholic,and there is a difference,as far as you not coming here that is up to you,for the many years i was thro the AA program i hurd the same,by many drinkers,well if you dont like what i say all leave,i do beleive you genuine,but really it doesnt matter what i think you have to feel good with kate.

[gyco]

Becoming Alarmed at Advice Being Given on MWO

oooops by the way it would be a shame if you left your opinion is very valuable gyco

[cmhguy3]

Becoming Alarmed at Advice Being Given on MWO

Bravo Kate!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I agree with you about the "air of enabling" lately on this site. I hardly ever post any more and very rarely go in chat for the same reasons. I find myself using the drink tracker and reading old post but avoid most of the current posts because they seem to be filled with personal woes and dramas and not focusing on the tasks at hand. I cant get it up and celebrate for someone who is glad that they only drank ten drinks last night instead of twenty! And don't even get me started on the stories of people who take antibuse and then proceed to graphically describe how ill they got after going on a binge...duh! You know before you take it what will happen.

However, MWO had been an incredible tool for me and I will continue to use it to keep fighting the good fight! There is so much support here for anyone who is truly serious about fighting the Beast. This is battle and there is no easy fix! Sure we have slips, but to win we have to fight will ALL our might!

If you (or I for that matter) offend anyone for speaking our truths so be it. Don't go anywhere because your posts are insightful and help me and others and that is what counts!

Guy

[irish eyes]

Becoming Alarmed at Advice Being Given on MWO

[QUOTE=KateH1;535743]OK...."........I know of no other way to beat this thing and get healthy, than to get serious.....stop making excuses.....stop being childish and getting real about what addicition is and the consequences with continuing. Alcoholsim is not a joke and quitting is not a game! This is very serious.....it causes so much grief and loss....loss of family, friends, jobs, futures, self respect, children, and can end in serious health problems that can be irreversable and even death.

Hey Kate
I loved your sharing, it was real from the heart and had to be said. I for one need more people to share in like manner. Pussyfooting does not get me anyplace and certainly it will not save my life. Please dont leave I need more of this.
Luv x :l

[akgirl]

Becoming Alarmed at Advice Being Given on MWO

As a mother my opinion is this. There are time when you need to be gentle and times you should be tough. But the thing is, sometimes you don't know when to do which. But I feel overall when it comes to safety and serious matters you should be tough but supportive.

I agree with you Kate. This forum has changed alot since I started. I value your insight and hope you continue to post.

[IAD]

Becoming Alarmed at Advice Being Given on MWO

To each their own ! What ever works......If one person had the only formula to live with this problem they'ld be very rich. You want to work your problem out with your nose to the grind stone, go ahead. I think that comrodery and friendship can go a long way to support someone that's down and out. A lot of people that come here have lost all their support system, so were it ! " It's easier to work a mule with a carrot than with a whip ". IAD

[akgirl]

Becoming Alarmed at Advice Being Given on MWO

I think her point has been missed. Its not that we should be hard on each other, just not overly supportive when someone is still drinking.

Just my 2cents
:l
Ak

[Beck]

Becoming Alarmed at Advice Being Given on MWO

Hi Kate,

Like you, I believe that a very big part of recovery is being completely honest with ourselves. I would go so far as to say honesty is the best "tool" in my toolbox. Alcoholism is serious and for me recovery is as well. Unfortunately some people are not at that place yet. I hope they get there before they cause further damage, but that is each individual's call. Those of us who have been AF for a while know that many of our problems and dramas dissipate when we go AF and those that don't can be dealt with so much more effectively when we are not drinking.

I don't visit or post much on MWO these days. It feels a bit selfish as I am one of those who has found "my way out". I just think it is healthier for me to stay away.

You know when I read your post I was reminded of when I was considering modding after 90 days - I PMed "Thankful" and she talked me through it. I knew I needed to talk to someone who wouldn't judge me but also would never give me permission to drink! I sought out the "Tough Love" folks b/c I knew that was what I needed. Or as Thankful used to say...always with the "love"...sometimes with the "tough".

MWO looses when people like you depart. I hope you stick around.

[time2change]

Becoming Alarmed at Advice Being Given on MWO

Kate
I hope that you realize how much so many of us appreciate your open and honest posts and stick around for a very long time.
I also have pulled back from this site for many of the reasons that have already been stated above. I love to read positive and encouraging posts but I seem to have to pick and choose what I read lately. Kate, as Beck said we all lose when people like you leave.
:l
Time

[boozehag]

Becoming Alarmed at Advice Being Given on MWO

Hi Kate
I dont post in just starting out anymore as it seems to me that when people first find the site they get all excited about the community and the support and finding they are not alone but they often fail to understand that it is a program that needs to be worked to achieve success. The community support is fantastic no doubt about that but that alone will not cure our drinking problems. Also the ridiculous talk and support for moderating when people who clearly have serious drink problems have had a week or a few days AF is almost funny. The bottom line is the program works really well if you work it but maybe that fact is overlooked quite often. I see people who slip a lot commenting that they havent actually even read the book or got the supplements. Hello that does not sound like committment to me!! IMHO a newbie needs to read and read and read and really do their homework to figure out what type of alcoholic or problem drinker they actually are. They can do this by comparing with others stories and seeing what worked for them. That is what I did and I was open to trying anything - I would have eaten dog shit if someone said it would help. Once the person has figured out what kind of a problem drinker they are and what their triggers are they can then focus on the outcome (AF or mod) with the supplements and/or the meds being a key aspect of the solution. It is only since I have figured out what kind of a drinker I am and what the triggers for my drinking binges were that I have the information I need to control it. I now know so much about it that I never knew before I found MWO. I now know absolutely that I can control it and just it gets easier over time. I wish I could just give that knowledge to others but unfortunately that is not possible they have to learn it for themselves. The tools are here it is just a matter of using them. So Kate your opinion is very valuable and you often point newbies in the right direction (book, supps, meds, posting etc) and that is just about all you can do. Keep it up.
BH