30 days and beyond

[boozehag]

30 days and beyond

When I got to MWO last April I was a mess. I was stuck in a never ending binge drinking and smoking cycle and I desperately wanted out. I seriously thought I was going to die and I was wracked with alcohol induced anxiety from the huge highs and lows of the binge cycle. I knew I couldnt do it by myself so I read the book and I got the supplements and I followed the programme as closely as I could as if my life depended on it - which it did. I read every single post and I followed all and any suggestions by anyone that were within my capabilities. I somehow made it to 30 days, then somehow to 60 days then somehow to 90 days hanging on for dear life with a few ups and downs along the way and now here I am and its over 300 days and I live in a completely different world. I thank god every single day for the gift of my life back and I dont even believe in god! Sometimes I just cant believe that it has happened and I am free of the bondage that I was stuck with for so long and I wonder sometimes how did I do it, how did it happen - but really I think it was just one little day at a time and eventually they all add up and build on each other until you eventually come out the other side. It is impossible to explain the sheer joy I feel every day in being free of the burden of binge drinking and smoking. Everything in my life has improved beyond measure as a result. Thanks to you all for the inspiration and especially the sharing of knowledge and tools to beat this thing.
BH

[KateH1]

30 days and beyond

For me, I realized after three months + of being "abstinent" that the very word made me constanly feel like I was "living without". I often felt like I was hanging on for dear life! I hated that feeling. That is when I decided that I had to change my thoughts....move to the next level. So, I decided to consider myself a "non-drinker" as this label made me feel like it was MY Choices and that I was in charge and not alcohol........(I hope this makes sense....) At the time, I shared this with others here that were at that time sharing their journey of living an alcohol free life......we changed our 30-90 day thread to the "We are non-drinkers".......it Really Worked!

So today, as many days before, I know that I am a non-drinker by choice, my choice! This leaves my life Free and Wide Open to make choices in what I choose to do every day!

Kate

[A Work in Progress]

30 days and beyond

Hi y'all... interesting point, Kate, about terminology. The word "abstinent" has always had a very unpleasant ring for me, too. It sounds like something cold. Something with pursed lips, something moralistic, something prudish.

Saying "I'm a non-drinker" is an improvement. But for me, even that just doesn't sit quite right. I prefer to say "I don't drink." It feels more comfortable to me, but I haven't figured out why, yet!

In Buddhist practice, there is a set of behavioral guidelines called "precepts." Usually a person "takes precepts" when becoming a part of a sangha, or Buddhist congregation/community. They/we vow to refrain from: stealing; lying; killing; sexual misconduct; and intoxicants. That's the basic set; there are more to come, later, for those who stick around and become leaders, or teachers, of various sorts, or for those who become monastics. Anyhow, I took the 5 Precepts years ago... unfortunately, in my Zen community, the one about intoxicants was not strongly observed (later I learned the one about sexual misconduct wasn't, either!)... During the last 6 months that I have been AF, I have certainly entered into a very serious relationship with my own earlier vow to maintain clarity of consciousness by refraining from the use of alcohol.

Interestingly, one of the most famous Buddhist teachers and writers, Thich Nhat Hanh, extends the precept about intoxicants to include television, advertisements, other "substances" that we place into our minds, causing distortions in our thinking... I agree with him, totally! Here is what he wrote:

Aware of the suffering caused by unmindful consumption, I vow to cultivate good health, both physical and mental, for myself, my family, and my society by practicing mindful eating, drinking, and consuming. I vow to ingest only items that preserve peace, well-being and joy in my body, in my consciousness, and in the collective body and consciousness of my family and society. I am determined not to use alcohol or any other intoxicants, or to ingest foods or other items that contain toxins, such as certain T.V. programs, magazines, books, films and conversations. I am aware that to damage my body and my consciousness with these poisons is to betray my ancestors, my pafrents, my society, and future generations. I will work to transform violence, fear, anger, and confusion by practicing a diet for myself and for society. I understand that a proper diet is crucial for self-transformation, and for the transformation of society.

[Heavenly]

30 days and beyond

Just a quick note before I rush to pick the kids, I also prefer to say 'I don't drink thanks', when faced with offers ... I have to bite my lip to stop myself expunging the reasons why though !!!

Since I 'came out' as a person who has alcohol problems ("I don't wanna be an alcoholic" - * stamps foot in temper tantrum* LOL ) I have been quietly and persistently passing on the message about excess alcohol consumption.
I am not the type to push it on people so this has been a word here and there, a discussion whenever it is pursued by the person I am conversing with. Hopefully, some of it sinks home.

I don't think any of us should be scared anyore of admitting we have a problem with an addictive substance. We are all special and worth looking after, as soon as we ourselves realise it, the sooner we will find the journey easier (and no I haven't accepted this fully for myself either !).

[IAD]

30 days and beyond

Good one Heaven...... I tell my friends that I'm on too many Meds. to drink and I only smoke when set on fire ! Ha! IAD.

[july232007]

30 days and beyond

Non-drinker or I simply don't drink anymore. I think for me the understanding that I don't drink anymore sunk in at the deepest level when I knew I could stop counting days, for me at one year AF.

From that point forward it was just a simpler way to live, and it has not been a struggle. Acceptance that this is how to live best frees up a lot of emotional energy.


July

[stepintime]

30 days and beyond

just sneaking in here......

I am just poking my nose in here....cuz I'm not allowed in this bit, just yet.....as I'm only 18 days into my new AF way of living. But I just wanted to say "thankyou" to Heavenly, for starting it.
I will keep an eye on everyone's posts here, and look forward to when I can officially say "HI !! I'm step and I am 30 days sober today!!!"

[peacenik]

30 days and beyond

i am beginning to think of myself as a non-drinker instead of a day counter...why bother when it is going to be forever?
i have signed up to get my b of sw and am back into my art work...life is so much better, though still hard as it should be.
onward into living!

[KateH1]

30 days and beyond

July....so right....not counting and feeling like this is our life....just our life!! Hi Step....nice to see you peeking in....it will be good to have you on board in another 12 Days...keep up the good work!

Good for you Peace.....getting back into former passions is such a treat! Alcohol steals so much from us....glad you are doihng your art work.....what kind of art work do you do?

[peacenik]

30 days and beyond

i work in glass...i use torches sometimes, so it's imperative that i'm sober!
i also do glass on glass mosaics in old window frames...gonna paint a bit as well.

i'm so glad for this thread!

peace!

[johnnyh]

30 days and beyond

Hey there.

I really like the Non drinker thing. But counting my days at the moment still seems a big motivation to me. The more days it is the more if feel like I cannot slip as I have worked so hared to get to these x amount of days.

But you make absolute sense that it is nonsense in the long run. what's the use of counting if you are if you don't have a target or rather if the target is being a non drinker full stop.

Anyways. Feeling good. Still taking Antabuse to keep myself honest and really worried of stopping as I don't quite trust myself yet.

[Janice]

30 days and beyond

I'm just popping in to say hi and thank you for starting this thread Heavenly. To everyone else, I'm so looking forward to reading posts from the 'no-nonsense' members but I won't be joining you yet until I "qualify".

Janicexxx

[johnnyh]

30 days and beyond

Hey janice,

You're almost there!!! keep going! Looking forward to seeing you here with your 30 days plus!!!

[KateH1]

30 days and beyond

Hmmmm to count or not to count???? I think that is an individual choice....and, whatever choice works is a great choice! I stopped counting days somewhere around 6 months AF.....Now.....I will only look to my anniversaries (years!!).

Peace....so you work with glass! What a beautiful medium! I love glass work, though I have worked with it very little and a long time ago! Mosaic work is so interesting! I absolutely love blown glass! We have an amazing art show in my neighborhood every 4th of July.....artists come from all over the world! You can check it out at cherrycreekarsfestival.org! We have seen a lot of amazing glass work in past shows there! Keep Creating!!!

Good to see you Janice! Looking forward to you joining in!! Hi, Johnny!

Have a peaceful....day all!

[peacenik]

30 days and beyond

i've been to the cherry creek festival! (i'm on the sd/nebraska border)

i'm a bit shy about my work, but people are always offering me money for my mosaics...i just give them away. i figure if someone appreciates it and wants it around them, that is payment enough!

yes, we must be busy in other ways to maintain our non-drinking status...we are not limited by it, we are freed up by it!