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[mario]

hi, I haven't had a drop of alcohol since jan 9,& hopefully never will again.Since then my life has changed completely,I feel great menthly and physically & i no with lots more work on myself to do,Anyway before i lived with my partner, a very beautiful,caring and loving person,i now have my own place and see my partner about 3/4 times a week,but in my new life i have a feeling that i am starting to pull away from her,i am all go go go,get everything done & cant see why anybody cant want or be a part of this new life of mine,my partner still has her life to live,work kids, etc,the question is am i being to selfish here or trying to change things around me to suit me,is this normal,how has other people dealt with this

[startingover]

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Hey Mario.
I think its a huge thing to become sober and of course we will change. For many of us we have been drinking for many years and our personalities will now be very different.
In many ways you are finding yourself rather than just going with the flow and its natural.
Try to accept that your partner hasnt had her epiphany like you have. She wont feel that excitement you do.
For me, I think I am becoming more tolerant. My partner is very understanding and supportive but of course he is not going to change just because I do.
Allow yourself to adjust to your new life, but take it easy on your partner, she has to adjust to you too. Also be aware that maybe you will become more distant. Or maybe in time you will be closer...

[Popeye]

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Hi Mario..
I've had the same sober time, the same mental and emotional changes brought in by sobriety and all for the better.
Friends and family are pleased to see me getting my act together, with varying degrees of interest and that's how it should be.
I was talking with my counsellor the other day and we agreed about what I had thought all along, that if you can follow your heart; your gut feelings about how to lead your life and being honest about what you want, especially to yourself, but also with others then do it.
I'm in the fortunate postion of having cut all the ties that needed cut and while that was a difficult process for me, I needed to clear my slate in order to get some sort of direction back. Well it's done and everyone that cares knows my position and though they may not agree with my choices, they are mine and any mistakes will be mine too. I've never put blame for anything that happens to me at anyone else's door, and I've been critisised for being too open and saying it how it is, but having had other people say their piece and try to take the moral high-ground, it seemed only fair.
We are all part of bigger things; families, work colleagues ect. and many people find comfort in that. I've come to see that while these things are important, and compromise is sometimes necessary, you have to be true to yourself.

[Mags]

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Hi Mario

Sobriety comes with big changes which we don't always expect or are ready for. They can be surprising. Sometimes we don't know how to prepare our loved ones for it, because we don't even know how to prepare ourselves for it. We don't even know what may be coming down the road next for us. There are many changes.

I don't have good advice. But the changes in yourself are all good ones. As for your loved one, all I can say is to try to communicate as best you can your changes which you may not even understand right now. I guess ask for patience and let her know that this is all for the better. Hopefully she can understand.