Can anyone relate to this??

[queen of denial]

I am on day 46 AF. When i decided to quit (again) I asked my husband to help me by getting rid of all the AL in the house. He was very nice & supportive & i thought he did this for me. Friday night he pulled out a big bottle of our fav wine from where we used to keep it and poured himself a glass right in front of me. I was shocked etc. The next day when i was calmer i asked him why he did that. He went on a macho rant about is he not allowed to have 1 glass of wine or 1 beer after 6 days of work? I said I know you do not have the problem I have with AL but I am getting mixed messages from you about me & my drinking. Then he said he doesnt care what i do or dont do (AL) that is my decision. I said well when i drank you did complain a lot about it. He was like yes because i would come home after a long week and all the AL was gone (that he said he bought) i had drank it all so it all came down to $$$$$$$$$$$$ he spent for AL, then he had none to drink. He also told me in so many words that I am not as much fun since i quit drinking we dont go anywhere. (i no longer want to go to bars or the wineries). I said well i do have a stressful job, i come home TIRED and you are working 2 jobs that might have something to do with it also but he does not see that as a reason at all. I feel him drinking our old fav wine in front of me (as well as having it where we used to keep it after I thought he got rid of it for me) was a very insensitive, rude , mean thing for him to do. I am hurt by his comments and lack of sensitivity/understanding. I fear we want different things in life this is my second marriage (his first) and without the mask of AL my depression is so much worse..In a few months i will be 50 and i really feel as if there is nothing left to look forward to in life other than getting old and dying. So i did ask him to put the wine somewhere anywhere where i dont know where it is,. It is still in the old place. I asked him if i was addicted to heroin would he leave that laying around the house where I could see it and he acted like that was a stupid statement and that is when he started his rant about him after a long week of working 2 jobs, is he not allowed 1 drink in his house etc.
:upset:

[Sunbeam]

Can anyone relate to this??

Hi Queen,
My husband still drinks, about a glass or two a day. When I quit, his first question her asked was, "do I have to quit too?" I said no, just keep it in the basement. We got a small refrigerator to keep down there, and this works for us. I was more of a binge drinker who never missed work and many other commitments. I never touch the wine any more without his knowledge. Your communications don't sound good, though, and you recognize that you are depressed. Counseling might help.

[YoungAtHeart]

Can anyone relate to this??

I don't think your hubby is being very supportive, and perhaps he really doesn't care whether you stop drinking or continue.

I would imagine that he is a little scared about learning to live with you sober, and perhaps he has a problem himself.

I hope that you get the support here that you need, because it doesn't sound like he will be able to provide it anytime soon.

Best wishes, Queen. It is hard to quit when your spouse is drinking, but others have done so. It wasn't an issue for me, since I'm single, but I know it would have been hard if I had to watch someone else drink when I was trying to stop.

[Heavenly]

Can anyone relate to this??

It wasn't a problem for me luckily, although I had other ones believe me ... maybe you will get more advice on the general discussion threads ?