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Why I want to let go of moderation

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    #106
    Why I want to let go of moderation

    "To me it feels like alcohol is an abusive lover. I know I've read that idea on this site before. It is as if alcohol is someone I once adored. He made me feel comfortable and confident and attractive and relaxed and easy-going. With him by my side I became more outgoing; funnier and friendlier and much more sociable. But then the time came when he started to beat me up now and then. He made me feel ashamed and low. He'd keep me hanging on with promises to treat me better next time. He'd hold out the offer of a cheery mood - of taking my troubles away for a night. Then he'd punch me in the stomach and tell me I was a failure and yet I'd never be able to live without him."

    "He is so seductive. He tells me I can't really be happy without him. I can't really relax. I'll enjoy life more if he's a part of it. And somehow, sometimes, I believe him. I feel almost thrilled to have him back! We're together again! How could I ever have let him go? Why did I think he was bad for me? He's wonderful!"

    wow, what an accurate description of the beast.

    Sam
    Liberated 5/11/2013

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      #107
      Why I want to let go of moderation

      My Dear Sara:
      I have your original thread on my Ipad so that when I log in every morning, I have to 'go' through this very thread, every, single time... I can not belive you are posting here. It's almost finding Mic Jagger singing in on eof his orginal venues....:l

      I read and re read you 'again' and the thoguth that hit me almost at once was, 'Al is not a Lover..It's a parent...It's a bloody parent. :upset:

      I can't add much here as this is a very... difficult realization for me...
      On My Own Way Out Since May 20, 2012
      *If you think poorly of yourself, you can fail with a clear conscience.
      https://www.mywayout.org/community/f11/tool-box-27556.html tool box
      https://www.mywayout.org/community/f19/newbies-nest-30074.html newbie nest

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        #108
        Why I want to let go of moderation

        Kradle123,
        I am so touched to read your post. I love the thought that a thread I started so long ago has been important to you! Al as a parent....yes! I have never thought of that. But yes.:l Are those your three beautiful children in the photo? I have three as well. They are nine, eleven and fourteen.

        Yes Sam, the Beast. You remind me to re-read "Rational Recovery". Thank you.

        Feels wonderful to wake up this morning knowing I didn't drink last night!
        "When she enjoyed her drinking she couldn't control it, and when she controlled it, she couldn't enjoy it." (from The Big Book)

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          #109
          Why I want to let go of moderation

          Hi Sara, I agree with Lav, moderation is really too much work. If we were casual drinkers we wouldn't be here in the first place. One beer? One glass of wine? Not a chance. And like they say if one then why not none?

          Giving up AL has to be the hardest thing I've ever done. The stages of grief are akin to losing a close friend. The difference is in the end we're happier without AL in our lives.

          Take it one day at a time. We will be here to help!
          Newbies Nest
          Toolbox
          My accountability thread

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            #110
            Why I want to let go of moderation

            THAT was the thread I was looking for!
            I?m starting to have similar doubts and I found here what I needed.
            Thanks, guys!

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              #111
              Why I want to let go of moderation

              I love this thread,. :h
              Glad you found it Fischer.

              Sara, how are you? :l
              On My Own Way Out Since May 20, 2012
              *If you think poorly of yourself, you can fail with a clear conscience.
              https://www.mywayout.org/community/f11/tool-box-27556.html tool box
              https://www.mywayout.org/community/f19/newbies-nest-30074.html newbie nest

              Comment

                #112
                Why I want to let go of moderation

                Yep we all learn from each other. We can never drink again. That much we all know. But when we get to the point where we don't ever want to drink again, that is success. I am there now, but I know I need to stay there. Thanks for sharing, it keeps us all sharp.
                Newbies Nest
                Toolbox
                My accountability thread

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                  #113
                  Why I want to let go of moderation

                  SaraSmiles! How ARE you? I'm done drinking for good, has been over a year now for me. Life just keeps getting better and better for me. I wish I could give you the courage to just be done with that abuser.
                  My life is better without alcohol, since 9/1/12. My sobriety tool is the list at permalink 236 on the toolbox thread under monthly abstinance.

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