Why I want to let go of moderation

[Emmy]

Why I want to let go of moderation

Shirazgirl ..... Your so right !! I feel the same way , its easier to just STOP , its too hard for me to think about when I can have a glass , am I sipping slow enough? what day is it? what time is it ?? Its CrAzY !! JMO... its much easier to just NOT DRINK !!:h Em

[KateH1]

Why I want to let go of moderation

IMO, This is not an easy task....no matter which way we choose. Staying AF is not easy, especially during those first few weeks and months. But, I think if you use the label of "Moderation" when one is continuing to drink and get drunk....it is truly not "moderating", but, continuing the destructive cycle of problem drinking, just simply calling it something else.

This is not meant to offend anyone. If somone chooses to drink, that is up to them. But, we have to keep in mind that lying and denial is a Huge Part of alcolism. I know this so well.....I lied to myself and lived in denial for years prior to deciding to stop the madness.

May each one, find their way!
Kate

[shirazgirl]

Why I want to let go of moderation

Like Doggy Girl said, someone who can moderate will take al or leave it. Her analogy with butter was the best. If you could either have butter or alcohol which would you choose. My answer a few months ago would be al but TODAY it is butter (I couldn't face my popcorn without it). My problem is I would like to have a glass of wine w/ my popcorn. Instead, I have club soda.....

[dora]

Why I want to let go of moderation

Hey Sara, How are things going? Your original post was very inspiring and some helpful advice from others along the way. I am coming up to 10 months AF and although I don't miss AL I am struggling at the moment with some depressive thinking/anxiety, particularly around friendships. In the past I would have resorted to wine to literally drown out any anxiety but I am working on tackling this sober, hasn't been an easy few days but reading this thread has helped. I hope you are ok, it took me quite a few months of stop/start with AL but thankfully I haven't had a drink since February 1st, 2009.

Wishing you well and hoping you are ok,

Dora

[mario]

Why I want to let go of moderation

hi dora well done on 10 months,good work.we all seem to through a roller coaster wave of emotions & feelings,i think its just part of dealing with life in the real to real world,As you have said dora reading this thread has helped you,so would it help you even better if you posted here to share your feelings and thoughts.i am sure we all would love to hear from you more.

[Baja Chic]

Why I want to let go of moderation

I'm only 8 days AF and have been a bottle a day wine drinker for years. I'm so sick of being addicted and have learned it's much easier to abstain than moderate, so I've ordered Nal and if I decide to give in to the urges, I'll only drink with Nal in my system and hope that it will eventually take away the addition. My goal is to be free of addiction and be able to partake wine for special occasions. Anybody have words of wisdom on this alcoholic logic?

[Doggygirl]

Why I want to let go of moderation

Baja Chic;763697 wrote: Anybody have words of wisdom on this alcoholic logic?

Well, it's alcoholic logic, I'll give you that! I have yet to meet an alcoholic that DOESN'T wish they could drink a little now and then. If I COULD drink a little now and then, I would. But I can't, so I don't. Trying just leads to misery.

I find the experiences people are sharing about Naltrexone to be encouraging. It's good to know that there are more alternatives to try every day. For me, I'm not interested in "playing with fire" of starting to take a drug, and drink. I guess I'm personally more interested in developing a life that doesn't "need" alcohol in it. Lots' of people live without AL and since I'm this far, I want to continue this path. But each of us has to find our own way.

Strength and hope to you! I can certainly relate to being sick sick sick of the addiction!! I'm with you there.

DG

[Pollydolly]

Why I want to let go of moderation

Hi everyone
I'm new here and this my first post. Still getting a bit lost but slowly finding my way around.
I've had many attempts this year to moderate my drinking, but have eventually come to realise that it's harder than abstaining. I'm nearly 3 months booze free and feeling great. I have to admit to feeling a bit anxious with Xmas coming up, but will try to deal with it one day at a time.
I'm looking forward to getting to 'know' peeps on here,
Pollydolly

[mario]

Why I want to let go of moderation

hi pollydolly welcome,you are in a great community with lots of support & advice,read as many threads/posts as you can and you will find your way around,more or less you are welcome anywhere you want to post to give an opinion or try and help someone,as you may have noticed this is the long term abstainers thread.where we try to stop drinking for ever & ever ;-)goodluck hope you stick around.

[Pollydolly]

Why I want to let go of moderation

Hi Mario
Thanks for the welcome
Yes I do want to abstain longterm. My 'last drink' date was 09/09/09 and my aim is to reach 10/10/10 - I'm a numbers nut :H If I get there, I'm planning to aim for 11/11/11 and then 12/12/12 and after that..who knows?? Still, by that time, I should have got things well under control :H :H
Pollydolly

[mario]

Why I want to let go of moderation

Pollydolly;767226 wrote: Hi Mario
Thanks for the welcome
Yes I do want to abstain longterm. My 'last drink' date was 09/09/09 and my aim is to reach 10/10/10 - I'm a numbers nut :H If I get there, I'm planning to aim for 11/11/11 and then 12/12/12 and after that..who knows?? Still, by that time, I should have got things well under control :H :H
Pollydolly

great plan,i always say in 5 years i might have a drink,but everyday its still 5 years.

[Pollydolly]

Why I want to let go of moderation

Love that thinking :H

[mario]

Why I want to let go of moderation

polly there is a thread called the army thread,click in there everyday and you can have some fun and also be serious

[Davie Souter]

Why I want to let go of moderation

KateH1;732173 wrote: Sara, I think you hit the nail on the head! As long as alcohol is thought of as an option or a solution, even a temporary one, we will continue to experience lapses. We have to retrain our thinking process to accept that alcohol is neither an option nor a solution.

This brings up another strong belief of mine. As long time drinkers, we have used alcohol to mask our feelings. We simply do not want to feel uncomfortable, unfortunately, many of us have never learned the skills to push through anxiety, sleeplessness, sadness etc etc. We must develop those skills and accept that sometimes, we will feel uncomfortable and anxious. We have to accepte that sometimes we need to just push through these times without opting for the quick fix. The quick fix that always comes back and bites us in the arse!

Wishing everyone a good day!
Kate

Hi Kate,
This post has really hit home with me regarding me my relationship with AL. I am by no means a shy person but when out in pub/nightclub with other people who are drinking I can feel uncomfortable/uneasy therefore in that situation I drink. Now thats quite normal, only I tend to get smashed and go for a couple of days (when everyone else goes home) which as we know is by no means normal and therein lies the problem.
I can socialise and mix in any situation when there is no drink involved. I can even go to dinner with people who are drinking and be fine AF, but when in a big pub crowd I am uncomfortable without the buzz/confidence of drink. For me I want to build my confidence to a level that I can handle such a situation without AL and say to people that simply I don't drink anymore and be happy about that fact. In addition, I am working on the thought process of (1) I will not have that first drink (2) I don't need a drink; and (3) I don't want a drink.

DS

[Doggygirl]

Why I want to let go of moderation

DS, I agree with you that the post of Kate's that you quoted is a really, really important one!

I can relate to your desire to be able to face / participate in any situation whether AL is there or not, and not want or need or have AL. I think we will all get to this place eventually.

For me, I don't play with fire. Even after 1.5 years sober, there are situations I simply will not put myself in. I'm starting to feel as though I CAN get through anything sober. However, there are some situations I'm just not willing to test. If I don't *have* to be in a bar (and truly *having to* is extremely rare in reality!) I don't go to a bar. My sobriety is SO important to me that I just will not jeapardize it, period.

I'm not even sure if I'm on point with your post, but I got the feeling that maybe you have considered or did consider "testing yourself" in situations that might be over the top tempting. Why do that? Just sayin' in case it's relevant.

DG