Getting An understanding of myself

[mario]

I have gone through many changes in the last 9 months all for the good, but some very sad,
I understand myself more than i ever did before,I have learned what was the matter with me and i no know what makes me tick, I will never be alone again,I am just one of many who have the illness of alcoholism and one of many who have learned what to do about it, I am not an odd fish or a square peg in a round hole, I seem to slowly been finding my right place in the world, I am content to face the rest of my life without alcohol, I have made the great decision once & for all, I have surrendered as gracefully as possible to the inevitable,I hope i have no more reservations,I hope that nothing can happen to me now that would justify my taking a drink,No death of a dear one,No great calmity in any area of my life should justify me in drinking, even if i were on a desert isle far away from all you here should i ever feel the right to drink, For me alcohol is out-- period, I will be always safe unless i take that first drink.
I also have learned to be honest,what a relief,no more ducking and dodging,no more tall tails,no more pretending to be what i am not, My cards are on the table for all the world to see,I am what i am, as popeye used to say in his comics, I have had an unsavory past. I am sorry, yet, it cannot be changed now, All that is yesterday and is done, But now my life is an open book, Come and look at it, if you want to, I am trying to do the best i can, I will fail often, but i wont make excuses, I will face things as they are and will not run away,as i have said i am one among many and i do not have to depend entirely on myself anylonger.
:thanks:

[mountaingirl]

Getting An understanding of myself

Very honest and sounds a lot like me Great job at realizing that you can't have one more drink. It takes a lot to finally realize that. Good luck and congrats!

[caysea]

Getting An understanding of myself

Hi All
Yes getting al out of your life is a big change. I thought it would be just stopping drinking. This is not the case if you want to keep al out of your life it requires lifestyle changes. It also requires facing and dealing with life without the numbing effect we sought out in al.Life is painful at times without al but this is life. Learning new ways to deal with life in a mature way is so much better than the life lived in a fog.Mario it is great to see another person who has come out of the al fog to enjoy life.The further away from al we get the better life becomes.
To new members if you are just starting on getting sober realize we were you just a few months ago. We are also one drink from going back. When you realize you are an alcoholic not able to control al. You realize the importance of not ever taking the one drink again.It is no longer the fight in my mind it was a year ago. al is not compatible with the life I now live. No regrets, no longing. Mario congratulations ,and to all those working hard on escaping the death of al.

Stay Healthy and Keep Fighting
AF 5-16-08

[KateH1]

Getting An understanding of myself

Beautifully put Caysea, my sentiments exactly! The first step is to stop drinking....takes full comittment and total concentration......once some weeks or months of sobriety are behind us, the Real Works begins.....life style changes and spriritual growth........without this very important step, I believe we are left wide open to picking up that first of many drinks again.

I am enjoying the journey!

AF 12-6-07

[corkish]

Getting An understanding of myself

Getting to the core of who I am and how I got here I think is the issue that we deal with when we deal with alcohol. It is my main priority right now and is very time consuming. I fear that if I sit with a feeling about how I have not drunk for x months then I may think that I am ok when I am not. I am a mix of emotions, decisions and actions that got me to a dark place in my life and if I dont sort those things out then I know for certain that I will head back to that dark space.
C

[Starlight Impress Forever]

Getting An understanding of myself

Poignant post, mario.

We may well have to overcome a deluge of obstacles along the way in this journey, but learning to accept oneself and to appreciate all that we have to offer is but one of the many rewards.

Life is simply beautiful when one becomes free of the scourge of alcohol abuse.

I wish you continued success and much happiness.

Star x

[mebill]

Getting An understanding of myself

So glad to read this thread, as I am also "finally" free from the grip of alcohol and other addictions. 60+days and SO happy to be where I am right now. Hopefully, getting better each day and learning so much about myself.

Bill

[Guitarista]

Getting An understanding of myself

Thanks for the post Mario.
I'm an open book more so now, too. Take me as i am. I've nothing to hide. I am honest, and i am me. I walk nude among you! (so to speak)

Take care mate.

[Popeye]

Getting An understanding of myself

Nice post mario, and true for a lot of us here.
I spent a lot of time being someone I'm not when all the time who I am was good enough.
I am what I am; take it or leave it.
But there is so much more to me than I knew about, or was prepared to accept and I'm finding getting to know me an adventure.

[Guitarista]

Getting An understanding of myself

Took the word's out of my mouth Popeye. Getting to know me, is an adventure here too.