slipping

[manOman]

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Tylyr, you can do it. You can absolutely do it.

Just remember you do not want to be drunk. Do not let AL win. As KateH has appropriately explained, live the moment, live the life..and live it with pride an joy.

Best to you.

[Doggygirl]

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Hello Katesm! Good to see you. I can relate to the memory of a VERY bad choice to drink and where it led. For me, it led to 8 months of "right back where I came from" with the daily alcoholic, epic drinking. I was just starting my first 60 days of sobriety (before the big relapse) around the time you had your crash in July '07.

But here we are ....sober. That is such a blessing.

I finally found a definition of "slip" I can accept. It was posted on the weekly AA thread.

Sobriety
Loses
It's
Priority

I wrote that one in my Big Book. :H Now I won't to charge into every thread about how the term slip doesn't cut it for me, and have a RANT :soapbox: like I always do!

DG

[dancelot]

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Doggygirl - Sometimes a rant is a very good thing! I rant sometimes, too. Someone telling it like it really is was what convinced me, got it through my foggy little head that they too had been me, and were now in a much better place.

My last "slip" occurred September 12, 2001. I had been sober for 10 months, the longest I ever had. One time I'd done 8 months sober, in 1994. I don't count the 6 AF days one week, and then the week after when I was trying to "mod" (I didn't even know the word existed then). Because a day after that I thought I could now handle one or two, but went up every day, and kept going up, worse than before. A month later I found MWO, in worse shape than ever. That's why I finally started looking into alcoholism (as in knowing I have it and finally believing it - I always "knew" it, but was in serious denial). Also realizing it would kill me sooner rather than later.

So no, "slips" are never minor in some of our cases. I'm sure there are others like us, that's why I keep my information out there. There's no "off" button for me. The power needs to be shut off and not turned back on. So I'll always support you on your soapbox. :stomper:

[Doggygirl]

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dancelot;773015 wrote: So I'll always support you on your soapbox. :stomper:

Between :soapbox: and :stomper:, LOOK OUT WORLD! :H

Maybe someday I'll lighten up, but probably not...

DG

[Raven.joy]

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I am sure most of us have been thankful for your 'rants' at some point doggygirl, you just keep on reminding us.

[Doggygirl]

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Thanks Raven.joy. I truly think there is a fine, but very important line between not beating ourselves up, but also not making light of a choice to drink. For me, a choice to drink is like playing russian roulette with a real loaded pistol. I can die from it, for real. Or kill somebody with my car. Nothing to make light of, that's for sure.

And to me, accepting the TRUTH about the potential consequences of a choice to drink is not "beating myself up." It's facing reality. Getting honest about that (among other things) was such an important step forward in finally getting free of AL's constant grip.

Thank you for listening... (more :soapbox: I guess...)

DG

[Jandal]

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Thanks for your post Mario. I know exactly what you mean. I've felt myself slipping - I was doing fine moderating since August but went away on holiday and on my return I feel like I am starting to slip back into bad habits again so I am back here giving myself a dose of reality. Fortunately I haven't done anything really stupid or regretful but tonight I came pretty close - letting my guard down and scoffing a bottle of wine on my own over an evening. I think its due to a combination of things - I have been really busy since I got back, but I have also been really bored and somehow as a result I gave myself permission to slip - and I know exactly what I mean when I use that term. I have been so pleased with myself, that when I did choose to drink I have been able to stop after only two and be satisfied that was it (this was the goal I had set myself), but over the last couple of weeks I have become lazy, let my guard down and let myself down in the process. This isn't going to be any easy now we are in the silly season but for the sake of self preservation and my own dignity I need to stay on top of this.

Thanks again - this was a very timely post for me.

[clare]

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I have slipped a few times or if you like i made the choice to drink,mostly when i am feeling down,or up..sometimes i think i deserve it,drinking can be so confusing at times.

[Raven.joy]

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What is it exactly you think you deserve? Happiness or suffering? Does drink represent this?

[clare]

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Raven.joy;775593 wrote: What is it exactly you think you deserve? Happiness or suffering? Does drink represent this?

For me drinking can represent both, when i am down or things are not going well,i can find solace in a bottle of wine or to,
when i am feeling happy i can relax and chillout with a bottle of wine or to.
i dont get hangovers but i do know i can drink to much.

[KateH1]

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I will honestly say that I find no solace, nor relaxation in a wine bottle or two....if I did, I would not be here as alcohol would not be a huge problem for me! Honestly, I think that many of us, at one time or another believed that what was stated by clare was true...for some it may be, but not for the alcoholic or problem drinker.

[Raven.joy]

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In my recovery I have finally accepted drink only ever gives the illusion of solace at cost. The price can be different day by day.

[Davie Souter]

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Hi,
Just my take.
For me the problem is not that I find solace or relaxation in AL or ever crave it. For me AL is only consumed on social occassions i.e. nights out with my mates - so my hardest moments is when all my mates are heading down the pub at the weekend. However when I do go down to the pub I regularly get smashed and therein lies the problem.

[Hartley]

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Doggygirl;773473 wrote: Thanks Raven.joy. I truly think there is a fine, but very important line between not beating ourselves up, but also not making light of a choice to drink. For me, a choice to drink is like playing russian roulette with a real loaded pistol. I can die from it, for real. Or kill somebody with my car. Nothing to make light of, that's for sure.

And to me, accepting the TRUTH about the potential consequences of a choice to drink is not "beating myself up." It's facing reality. Getting honest about that (among other things) was such an important step forward in finally getting free of AL's constant grip.

Thank you for listening... (more :soapbox: I guess...)

DG

Excellent post. I too have been informed in no uncertain terms that if I continue to relapse and binge, I will die. Among other things, this strikes me as an incredibly selfish and dare I say stupid thing to do now.

In my case, I recognize that one of my problems is a lack of maturity. I hit 21 and just stopped growing emotionally. My chosen career has perpetuated that bubble of a no-responsibility lifestyle and I've indulged it. That coupled with this unfathomable belief in my own indestructability and a refusal to contemplate mortality means that I still struggle to make that visceral connection between something as apparently harmless as me picking up a glass of wine and me lying in a detox unit in an unregonizably human state. I find this baffling.

So every day I am reminding myself that this is not a game of double dare anymore. This is a straight choice - do you want to live and shoulder the responsibilities, the joys, the stresses and all the other normal states of human existence? Or do you want to curl up in a ball like an emotional coward and see the ultimate selfish bastard act through to the inevitable end?

Well fuck that. I choose the former.

[lilmea]

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Sobriety
Loses
It's
Priority

DG-Thank you for this excellent definition. Sobriety has to remain my #1 priority always.