Relapsing

[mario]

Relapsing

viper1966;807252 wrote: Point taken

So I guess Santa may truly exist.

:coolsanta:well if you think that may help you to stay alcohol free, believe:coolsanta: hohoho

[Andy R]

Relapsing

Santa

Isnt that who dyslexic devil worshippers sell their souls too?

Chillax as my kids say!

[spuddleduck]

Relapsing

interesting topic... the original one i mean. im coming up 3 months sober (wehey) and thoughts have been creeping in about trying a drink.... just to see if i can be sensible. since falling into the drink pit ive never had any real time sober, so this is a first. im pretty sure im not gonna try that drink anytime soon but i do have that thought that sometime in the future i will try... just to see.hearing stories of long time sober people who quickly fall back into the drink pit certainly makes me think twice.

[dancelot]

Relapsing

spuddleduck;861796 wrote: interesting topic... the original one i mean. im coming up 3 months sober (wehey) and thoughts have been creeping in about trying a drink.... just to see if i can be sensible. since falling into the drink pit ive never had any real time sober, so this is a first. im pretty sure im not gonna try that drink anytime soon but i do have that thought that sometime in the future i will try... just to see.hearing stories of long time sober people who quickly fall back into the drink pit certainly makes me think twice.

Spuddleduck, these thoughts will creep in at times, seemingly around milestone points (3, 6, 9 months, one year, etc) without any other triggers. I find it helps me to really look at how I was when drinking - how I really felt most of the time. Not the initial feeling, but the yucky parts. Think about how I looked every morning (I never looked in the mirror after awhile, because I didn't like seeing who I saw). Think about how I felt all day long (like crap). Any other negatives.

The only time I ever thought I was successfully "moderating", it lasted all of 2 weeks - after that it was all downhill and escalating fast. That was the point I was researching AA online and found MWO. I learned fast (fortunately) AF was the only way for me. When I remember how I didn't think I could even make the first 30 days..... I originally thought about moderating only because I thought I couldn't ever actually stop drinking. Even that seemed impossible when I saw I should be able to do 30 days. I have over 9 months now.

Just think back honestly and remember all of it. Read and reread how much of a struggle it is for so many people on this forum. It's way easier to let that sleeping dog lie than to wake it up and do that all over again. From what I understand from hearing AA people is that it harder to do it again, and sets up less chance of success. If we could turn it on and off at will, we wouldn't be here. We'd be "normal" drinkers. For most people here, that will never be an option. We are the rule rather than the exception, and need to remember that. Take care. :h

[techie]

Relapsing

thanks dancelot I'm fighting the inner voice too ofter but it does get easier each day!

[techie]

Relapsing

dancelot thank you. I too am dealing with the AL inner voice. On the positive side keeping close to the MWO site and folks like you things are getting better!

[Winefree]

Relapsing

I too have had that inner voice since right before my 1 yr anniv and continuing in this 13 month. So glad this post got bumped up since I don't remember it the first time around and the timing is right for me. Keep thinking I want to give AL a try for a special occasion only, like a normal drinker, but so afraid from what I hear hear and at AA mtgs of where it might lead me.
That's why I keep coming here and going to AA mtgs to keep it current.

winefree

[mario]

Relapsing

For me not living in the past but not forgetting my past helps me stay on the sobriety road,i can not ever afford to get complacent about what alcohol can/has done to me.

[Cinders]

Relapsing

God, help us to laugh again but never let us forget we cried.

Sorry if this is in the wrong spot but I have that picture in my home group and it makes so much sense to me.

Love,
cindi

[spuddleduck]

Relapsing

spuddleduck;861796 wrote: interesting topic... the original one i mean. im coming up 3 months sober (wehey) and thoughts have been creeping in about trying a drink.... just to see if i can be sensible. since falling into the drink pit ive never had any real time sober, so this is a first. im pretty sure im not gonna try that drink anytime soon but i do have that thought that sometime in the future i will try... just to see.hearing stories of long time sober people who quickly fall back into the drink pit certainly makes me think twice.

well so much for not trying a drink anytime soon. i messed up big time yesterday with vodka. not even sure why, i just did it. i realize now with absolute certainty i cannot safely have a drink. im pissed off with myself, really really pissed off. but its done... no point dwelling on it. im not back to day one, im almost 3 months sober with one major blip.

[momof3]

Relapsing

Spuddleduck,

The most important thing is to get back on the horse. Think about why you decided to drink after 3 months. And, make a plan for the future. You can do it!

[techie]

Relapsing

I appreciate all the posts here. Today my niece is graduating HS. Since there were limited tickets for the ceremony I opted to let another relative go in my place. There will be a large party after (in abt 3hrs) After dropping my mom, sister and aunt off at the school I had strong cravings. I was headed in the direction of the nearest watering hole but decided to come home logon to MWO. I think this may be working for me. My resolve is strong because I didn't give in. It was so easy. Thanks to all of you who provide support here, it means so much to us that are struggling with the initial first few weeks of sobriety.

[momof3]

Relapsing

Good for you Techie. You did the right thing. Way to go...

[retteacher]

Relapsing

I've thought a lot about relapse & hear about it at AA meetings. People who have many years in have started drinking again for no apparent reason. Even though I get uncomfortable hearing about relapse, I have to realize that it's all too easy to do. I only have a little over 1 year & am probably still on the "pink cloud." But, I know anything (or nothing) could push me into relapse. When I see "AA regulars" go AWOL from meetings, I know that can mean they are relapsing. It's hard to see them come back w/tails between their legs, but often they do. And, they are welcomed w/open arms. I've heard sharing about relapse being "a learning experience." That's one learning I don't want to experience first-hand. My biggest weapon against relapse is how much better my life is working now that I'm sober. I'm going through an intense crisis right now & sober is the ONLY way to do it. 2 years ago I would definitely have been drinking through this & adding all the humiliation & self-loathing of that on top of the difficult situation our family is going through.

Mary

[admom7]

Relapsing

I have to forgive myself...

I started drinking at age 16, in 1976 and quit in 1995.
Cold Turkey.
Did not touch a drop till december 2008...
Now I drink every night.
I am going to try and stop.
I am reluctant to talk with my Doctor but I guess that is the safest way.

I hope I will be okay health wise if I taper off for withdrawing from A.
This is my first day here and I am not sure what to do.
:new: