saturday oct 7

[Guest]

.

[Guest]

saturday oct 7

Saturday

Well, its really Friday night here. Wanted to report that I went out tonight with a good friend from work. We have been good friends at work, but never have gone out together. The plan was to go see a physic, out to dinner and then back to my house to watch "Ghost Whisperer". I was just a tad nervous about the dinner part--but I just didn't let it concern me. I haven't outed myself to her yet. I am becoming much more comfortable with the whole "I'm an alcoholic" thing. But I still have to take a step back and realize that it out in the real world many people still have their own perceptions of it. I decided to let things just take course and make the decision at the time. So when we sat down to order our drinks--she asked if I wanted to order a beer. I just said that I would rather have ice tea. Then she said that a beer really didn't sound that good to her and ordered a pop. I sometimes forget that to people who don't have an obssession with alcohol that they really could care less what I order--even if it is Friday night. We had a great time and I am looking forward to doing something with her again. So glad to spread my wings and get people in my life that don't care about alcohol.

On the topic--When I hear a quote or something that I like that empowers me I write it down. I have a list that I carry with me and pull it out frequently and read it. It always gets me refocused into the right direction. Funny not a single one has anything to do with alcohol--but all of them give my soul a boost. I will post some later--when it is actually Saturday here in Ohio.

[Guest]

saturday oct 7

Its me again

In trying to find my old friend I decided that maybe her number would be on some old cell phone bills. What I found was a shock--still trying to catch my breath. There are several werid numbers on the bill that were made in the wee hours of the morning-several different nights of the week. I did a reverse phone search on some of these numbers and I don't have a clue who some of these people are and a couple I must have just been having a real hoot with--because they are 77 to 96 minutes long! It was literally scary to look at that --realizing that was me. I mean these names that appear do not even remotely ring a bell. I'm headed to bed--its late--but I feel like the boogie man was here.

Kim

[Guest]

saturday oct 7

Kim,
I"m having a weird day also. I think I've grown horns.. I've turned into the wicked witch... then I noticed its full moon...

howl
brigid

[mikeupnorth]

saturday oct 7

It's late (Friday night) here in Alaska and I'll be heading to bed soon myself. I will post something more significant tomorrow when the neurons are firing more rapidly! (Like on my 2nd cup of coffee in the morning!)

Went to an AA meeting tonight and all the speakers were "old timers" with 10+ years sobriety. I'm not "working" the AA program but enjoy going to meetings sometimes, and find that I can learn from them. Also it's good to be in a room full of people with the same goal, even if our strategies might differ. Anyway, I felt quite humbled to hear stories from people who have managed such long-term sobriety.

I like the motivator you chose, Brigid -- I definitely have some thoughts on that subject, and I'll elaborate in the morning.

And Kim -- I have been absolutely APPALLED to open some of my phone bills in the past. I'll just leave it at that.

Don't know when exactly you leave for your camping trip, Brigid, but I hope you have great fun. Camping in Austrailia.... I can only imagine. Sounds very exotic. I suppose camping in Alaska sounds pretty exotic to most people as well!

See y'all tomorrow --

Mike

[gabby]

saturday oct 7

you guys are so cool. Kim ya made me laugh! Boogie men.....ooohhhh.
Brigid, I love that seed planting. And the nurturing part is the good stuff. Nurturing.....kinda my thing.
Big smiles to you all and everyone else gotta get ready for work. gabby

[mikeupnorth]

saturday oct 7

Ok it's now Saturday morning in Alaska. I think it must be, hmmmm, very early Sunday morning in Australia?

Hey if it's not already somewhere on this site, how about this for a tool? A link to one of those world maps showing time zones, so that we can each know where we are in relation to each other. Oh, and some show where it's daylight and dark, too -- pretty cool. Or maybe somehow it could be embedded in the site somehow. Just a thought. I'm always trying to think of what time it is in the UK or Australia.... Maybe it's already here and I just don't know about it.

OK I am a nerd. But here are two that I like. This is my favorite... it requires a flash plugin but it's pretty snazzy and shows the day and time anywhere in the world... TimeTicker and the time tickers...

This one is a little less cool with the graphics but it accomplishes the same thing. WorldTimeZones.com - The Current Time Anywhere in The World!

I think I'll post this over in General Discussion -- maybe others would be interested and maybe RJ can find a way to put something like this directly in our Tools forum?

OK how is that for going off on a tangent? I started out just to post about what had already been said here and went off on what time it was on the other side of the world. Hmmmm. Guess my brain is working overtime now that it's not regulary pickled....

I'll end this and start over.

Mike

[mikeupnorth]

saturday oct 7

Kim: I know what you mean about your friend, and ordering something other than alcohol. We forget that "normal" people don't struggle with the decision of whether to drink or not drink. To them it's the same as deciding whether to have pizza or chicken for dinner --- it's just like, "What do I feel like having tonight?" No obsession, no craving, no fear of going without -- just a matter of taste and preference. A simple choice. Ahh, if it were only that easy for us. But it's not. And that is why alcohol is simply not an option for us -- now or ever. I've tried mods, on countless occasions. I've tried it even while on a substantial dose of topa. And it just doesn't work for me. So that is why I'm here in South Absville, Absland, Abstown, whatever you want to call it. The place for those of us who know we can't go back. And frankly, I don't want to go back. I want to learn how to live this life without the crutch of alcohol. I want to learn to live it with whatever tools I need to do it the sober way. I wasn't born with a drink in hand. I certainly don't want to die that way either.

Anyhoo -- the topic. "In this moment, and in every moment, you can choose what to put into your mind. And whatever you consistently put into your mind will soon become a part of your life."

I truly believe that what we spend time thinking about, and what we spend time watching, reading and doing, affects how we feel, act and behave. Garbage in --> garbage out. That is why for years now I have stayed away from things like extreme gory horror films, pornography, films with pointless violence, books about serial killers, etc. It's not that I occupy any kind of moral high ground -- I've wallowed in some pretty low places over the years. It's just that (at least when sober) I don't want to fill my brain with those kinds of images, because if I do, they come back to me later again and again.

I also don't want to spend time, especially right now in early recovery, thinking about negative things. I can't afford to dwell on how much I might dislike person X, or what I am frustrated about at work, or what really pisses me off about my sister. Those are things I can't control anyway. And if I dwell on those negative things, I am going to get all twisted up inside, and what's going to happen? I'm going to feel the need for relief. How do I spell relief? V-O-D-K-A. So no, I can't go there.

Rather than the negative stuff, how about the positive? I mentioned in the North Absville post for the day all the things I'm thankful for. Well, not ALL the things, but many. If I spend time being thankful, how can I get all twisted up? And if I spend time thinking, "how can I be helpful to other people?" then I don't have time to start feeling sorry for myself. I don't even have time to notice that they annoy me if I'm concentrating on doing something kind. It all works to make my brain focus on positive, rather than negative, energy. Good vs. evil, if you want to put it that way.

OK, I'm talking butterflies and rainbows here. I admit I'm riding on a bit of a high right now -- 19 days sober and feeling great. I am fully aware of this phenomenon which some refer to as the "pink cloud." I've experienced it before and know that it eventually goes away and life kind of goes back to normal and gets dull and maybe disappointing. But I'm going to ride the cloud as long as it lasts -- and I know I'll have you guys for support when it's not there any more.

And maybe this time around the crash from the pink cloud won't be as hard as in the past. After all I have a lot more tools now. I'm on topa and not having cravings. I have this board, I have some good friends that are supportive of my recovery, and I have a doctor and hypnotherapist who are both experts in the field of addiction. I have my supplements. I have AA which I go to when I want, and need the extra boost.

All righty then. I guess I'll stop here.... on with the day. Thanks for taking the time to read my novel.

Mike

[gabby]

saturday oct 7

yeah!!!!!!! 19 days

[bounce]

saturday oct 7

Im starting my second month Af and im going to carry on as long as I can . If I can get over Christmas then I will consider myself cured if you can ever be cured of this terrible decease .Anyway that?s when I will stop taking the Antabuse.

Nice to see so many people in the tools section putting them zeros in, there was just me with all zeros last month hope we all make it the end of this month.

Im saving a fortune by not drinking so were planning a holiday to Disney Florida cant wait ive being once but never thought we would be able to afford to go again . Two new family members to take this time my son 8 months old and my grand daughter whos 4 years old .

I come on this site every day and read the posts don?t post much but I go on chat most evenings if anybody wants to talk .

Phil

[mikeupnorth]

saturday oct 7

Hey Phil, and everyone,

Good to see you here. I think we are calling this place Absland. Or Sobriety City. I don't know. Anyhoo. I tried the calendar but couldn't get past the login.... I guess I missed a step somewhere.

Tonight I'm going to a "70's Disco Par-Tay" where there will be plenty of alcohol being served. I'm a little nervous, not because I'm afraid I'll drink, but because I don't have any polyester shirts or bell-bottom jeans to wear!! And no "stacks." (Anyone remember those? The shoes with big thick soles?) Seriously, though. I'm going with a very supportive, non-drinking friend, and he would smack me in the face before letting me drink. And I don't feel any desire to drink, at least not lately, with the topa in my system.

Going to the party is actually an assignment from my hypnotherapist. It's sort of an experiment to see how I feel socializing with people when I am sober. I'm supposed to feel completely at ease, moving among groups of people, and charming them with my conversational skills. Ha! Some of them will be too smashed to notice. Good practice for me, though.

All righty then. Time to go get ready. Have a good evening. I think Brigid is in the outback camping somewhere.... so if there's no post started when I get up in the AM I will start one.

Take good care ~

Mike