I was AF for four and a half weeks but was drinking kava. I did not attend meetings and I was finding it pretty easy to avoid alcohol. Sure, there were moments when I was tempted but I had the ability to not take a drink. Haveing an alternative like Kava seemed to really help beacuse it gave me another option, one that did not make me do crazy things or have any negative consequences.
HOwever, On Tuesday, I met with a friend. I shd not have met with him. He has serious problems with alcohol and cocaine. I normally avoid cocaine as have had problems with it in the past and have found I have been able to drink Kava without craving it at all. I have had numerous kava nights in last 4 weeks and I like the way it relaxes me a bit and helps me to enjoy a party or social event much more than when i am totally sober.
HOwever, on Tuesday, I was drinking kava all night and my friend(if you can call him that...) was talking all night about how good his cocaine was....eventually i had some. Before i knew it, I was having a beer cos I felt so awful and edgy. I am so upset with myself. It turned into a big binge.
My question is....if I just make a point of avioding friends who take this(luckily, most of my friends do not) will I be ok to drink the kava? Or is drinking the kava dangerous because at some point I am going to want a bigger rush? Should I just stop everything and be totally clean. This concept is of course scary to me as I am just so worried that I will relapse on alchohol if I do not have something to enjoy......and I donlt feel that Kava is such a bad thing, after all, its non toxic, non addictive and until Tuesday, I had four weeks without any alcohol or drug problems. I never normally last that long.
Thanks,
Charlie
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