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    #16
    Wonderful News!

    Sara, when I could finally say it (I am an alcoholic), I turned a positive corner. For the first few months I could not call myself "that word", even though I knew I couldn't safely drink ever again. I think that was the difference in accepting it, at least in my case. :h
    ​​Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery, none but ourselves can free our mind ~ Bob Marley ~ Redemption Song

    AUGUST 9, 2009

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      #17
      Wonderful News!

      Thank you all so, so much for the encouragement and support. I have found both of those things at MWO again and again. I am grateful, and deeply touched. Wouldn't it be wonderful if saying "I can't drink...I'm an alcoholic" were as free of shame as saying, "I can't eat nuts, I'm allergic" ? What's the difference, when you think about it? Neither is a choice. Neither is anyone's fault. I think the shame of saying "I'm an alcoholic" is a big part of what keeps so many of us from accepting it and giving up drinking. I tried so hard, for so long, to live is if it weren't true. To fake it. To control it. But I couldn't make it go away, and in the end, isn't it a lot easier to just stop eating nuts?

      Sara
      "When she enjoyed her drinking she couldn't control it, and when she controlled it, she couldn't enjoy it." (from The Big Book)

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        #18
        Wonderful News!

        Excellent way of putting it, Sarasmiles. Acceptance and moving forward.
        Just don't eat the nuts and don't drink. Wouldn't it be great if it was accepted by others as an allergy like that. Maybe someday.

        Hippie, I can understand the delusional feeling, maybe in the future. Those crazy thoughts still go through my mind. I just have to keep reminding myself they are CRAZY!

        Winefree

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          #19
          Wonderful News!

          Sara,

          Good for you!! Am cutting and pasting what I posted to someone else. As someone who moderated first here before going AF now I'm hoping you will relate and appreciate this.

          Hopefully people who decide that moderation isn't working don't look at themselves as failing to be able to moderate but as a positive step towards resolving their alcohol-related problems. Getting rid of those problems that are related to alcohol is why most people decide to change their drinking in the first place.

          So if Plan A (moderation) isn't working for you, Plan B (not drinking) may. You can even view not drinking as the ultimate form of moderation!
          Hugs Sara,
          :l
          Glad we'll never lose touch as I'll see you on our other site.

          Eve11
          "Control your destiny or somebody else will"

          ~Jack Welsh~:h

          God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me. ~Author unknown, :thumbs:

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            #20
            Wonderful News!

            Sara,
            I love your post. You sound like you have grown quite comfortable in your own skin. Congratulations.

            Being early along myself, I might just decide I'm allergic to alcohol. (really I know I have to do more work, just a joke!)
            Success is not final, failure is not fatal, it is the courage to continue that counts.
            AF since May 6, 2010

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              #21
              Wonderful News!

              Hello MWO friends. Just a quick update on my 124th day alcohol free. I don't post here much anymore, but always appreciated the warmth and support I got here.

              I want to say that I am happier than I have been in a long, long time. Accepting that drinking was no longer an option for me (at least not a healthy option) was one of the best decisions I've ever made. Recognizing that I can't drink isn't always easy for me. Sometimes there are stray thoughts or moments of doubt. There are stumbling blocks, like lousy moods or social events or family stress, and even a mom saying, "don't be silly....you can have a drink!" But most days, I don't even think about drinking. When I do, I play the tape forward and envision the negative consequences of heading down that road again. I think of my children, and there is no longer any doubt about what is right for me, and for them. I feel better about myself as a mother than I ever have.

              It gets easier all the time. Every time I handle a bad mood, say no thanks at a party, or sit with my husband while he has a cocktail and I have a pomegranate and seltzer, I get a little stronger. I think anyone and virtually everyone can.

              Now here comes some totally unsolicited, possibly distasteful advice. So stop reading here if you don't like to be told what to do:

              If you are struggling with the desire to drink moderately, yet finding that you repeatedly fail to stay within your limits, stop struggling and stop drinking. Accept that you are much better off without alcohol in your life. Let it go. You don't need it like you think you do. Life does go on. Life gets better. Joy is out there!

              Best to all,
              Sara
              "When she enjoyed her drinking she couldn't control it, and when she controlled it, she couldn't enjoy it." (from The Big Book)

              Comment

                #22
                Wonderful News!

                thanks for the update and the original post. i too am heppier and stronger than i ever thought i could be. every challange gives me more strength. joy really is out there!
                Today is the tomorrow i worried about yesterday and it turned out fine
                Keep passing the open windows

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                  #23
                  Wonderful News!

                  Hi Sara,

                  Hadn't read your original post so am grateful for having read it now. Great relieve isn't it?!!

                  Even greater to read the update 4 months down the line and hear how great life is. I'm about 3 weeks behind you and can only mirror everything you're saying!!

                  You're unsolicited advice is certainly true!!!
                  AF since 15th March 2010

                  The journey is the goal. As long as you're fighting the good fight and you're not giving up on giving up, you're winning. It's not about how often you get knocked down, it's about how often you get up again. Sobriety the goal for sure. But striving to get to that goal is what it's about. Not getting there. Because the journey never ends. The journey is the goal.

                  Comment

                    #24
                    Wonderful News!

                    Thanks Spuddleduck and Johnnyh! So glad that you too are enjoying the sober life!
                    "When she enjoyed her drinking she couldn't control it, and when she controlled it, she couldn't enjoy it." (from The Big Book)

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                      #25
                      Wonderful News!

                      ((((SARA))))
                      "The person who says it cannot be done should not interrupt the person doing it"

                      Comment

                        #26
                        Wonderful News!

                        lovely post sara & how are you deebee :-)


                        :congratulatory: Clean & Sober since 13/01/2009 :congratulatory:

                        Until one is committed there is always hesitant thoughts.
                        I know enough to know that I don't know enough.

                        This signature has been typed in front of a live studio audience.

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                          #27
                          Wonderful News!

                          Sara,

                          Great post! And how well I know about the people at parties saying, "Well just have one!" Ugh! I want to scream!

                          GOOD FOR YOU AND CONGRATS!

                          Rusty

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                            #28
                            Wonderful News!

                            ((((((((DeeBee))))))) How are you, indeed??

                            Thanks Mario and Rusty. Congrats to both of you, too!

                            Sara
                            "When she enjoyed her drinking she couldn't control it, and when she controlled it, she couldn't enjoy it." (from The Big Book)

                            Comment

                              #29
                              Wonderful News!

                              Wow, Deebs and Sara, it is good to hear from you. Sara, you sound so great and strong. Debs, I would love to hear more. You will always be my friends.
                              My life is better without alcohol, since 9/1/12. My sobriety tool is the list at permalink 236 on the toolbox thread under monthly abstinance.

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