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saturday 14 october
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saturday 14 october
this is MY thread ok.
I'm having a day of it. Had a lightglobe moment... wanna hear? (no postings now!!!! remember, this is MINE@@@@!!!!!!)
So... it goes something like this.. i have a brother going through a relationship break up. His son (nearly 18 or so) is very angry at the break up.. and you wanna know why.. because what he thought was real was not.. he thought he came from a stable long term base.. and actually he has worked out that this is not so.
I was surprised that he was angry and then "click click" goes the light switch. I"m exactly the same. I know that alcohol is not my friend.. academically and every way I know this to be the case. I've lived without it for nearly a year.. but knowing and accepting this in my heart has taken me longer to do.
breathe.. brigid... breathe.....
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saturday 14 october
Saturday
Thanks Brigid for getting this started. It is late Friday night here--but almost midnight--so that makes it Saturday in my book.
Susan congrats on 6 months!!!!!! Your progress is amazing and you always have great wisdom to share. Thanks for coming back on to toot your horn. I most likely would have just thrown myself a pity party.
Somewhat on Brigid's topic....today someone said in our office "I don't drink, its just not fun for me". She does not drink and never really has. I thought, "you know what--it wasn't fun for me either I just thought it was". Sure there were the beginning days that seemed to be fun, but those days are long gone--and drinking was not fun. There may have been a blue moon here and there--but trust me that was rarely.
My husband and I went out on a date tonight. I met him at the restuarant and on the way there I was thinking about how we used to have a few drinks, lossen up...and then I would just keep on going. It was just a werid feeling--like how do I do this--will it be as much fun? Then I realized what is fun for normal people is not my reality--it would be wonderful to have a couple of drinks at dinner and then go on with the rest of our date. My reality is that I would have started drinking, ate very little and never made it to the movie. Then I thought about my husband's point of view--its rude to the other person when that would happen. First our plans would have not happened as planned and then the message I would be sending out is that I can only tolerate your company if I numb mysef completely.
Instead we had an awesome dinner, great conversation and actually went an saw the movie. I had a great time--and once at dinner I never gave drinking another thought. Then to boot we got to pick the kids up without alcohol on our breath. I am truly very lucky to have a husband that doesn't care to drink. A real take it or leave it type of person--makes all of this much easier.
We had such an awesome time completely sober--that I can't see me really wanting to drink on a date with my husband--first its rude, secondly it truly was more fun without the alcohol.
Kim
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saturday 14 october
First off, a big HUG and CONGRATULATIONS to Susan for 6 months. Well done!!! :l
I had the realization some time ago that -- like you, Brigid -- I had an abusive relationship with alcohol. It's funny how we are told that we "abuse" alcohol. The way I see it, alcohol abuses us. It lures us into a relationship based on lies. It leads us on. It entices us with its pretty bottles, its promises of romance and sophistication and fun. And what do we get in the end? Misery. As certainly as if we were beaten up and bruised on a nightly basis by a raging spouse. How long would we put up with THAT from another human being? Yet we keep wanting to go back for more of the same....
Its tricks and lies are just as clever as those of the man who, after every episode, shows up with flowers and apologies and promises that it will never happen again. But you know deep down in your heart it will happen again.
Yeah, right. It [alcohol] never changes."Few things are impossible to diligence and skill. Great works are performed not by strength, but perseverance." -- Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784)
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saturday 14 october
Yip, Mike
And what makes me angry? I'm angry cos I took so long to accept the lie in my heart. I skirt around the lie.. try to pretend its not the total lie that it is. Prefer the awful life that I know cos I'm too scared to change.
Dont get me wrong.. I HAVE changed... I"m dealing with the left over bits that still haunt me... trying to live with them, if you get my drift.
brigid
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saturday 14 october
I agree with you Kate, about not wanting to forget the past. If I do, I am more susceptible to the lie next time it comes around....
Of course that's a different thing than dwelling on the past. I have to let go of the mistakes I made. I just have to accept it for what it is."Few things are impossible to diligence and skill. Great works are performed not by strength, but perseverance." -- Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784)
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saturday 14 october
Hey Guys - Remember me!
Sounds like Absville is doing great. I admire how you guys have all taken a turn at the leadership of this forum. There are some great thoughts everyday! I do read your posts every few days.
Susan, congrats on 6 months, that is an awesome accomplishment! You must be very proud of yourself.
Today is day 100 for me! I really didn't even know how long it was exactly and then I counted a few days ago. The thought of alcohol rarely enters my mind any more. I guess not much does or doesn't stay there for long with all these meds I'm on, LOL.
Tx has been pretty tolerable. I've had bad days, but for the most part as long as I rest when I need to. Kinda at odds with my doc now, long story, but he's not doing what I expect. I guess I only have 10 more weeks of this, so I can deal with it.
Just popping in to say hi and pat you all on the back for the great job you are doing for yourselves and supporting each other!
MarcieMarcie
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saturday 14 october
Hi Marcie, you were here when I first started MWO and I enjoyed hearing from you. Both of my parents had hepatitis C so I can relate to what you are going through. You are in my prayers, and best to you. Hope you will come around here again............I'm really easy to get along with once people learn to worship me
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