What was your rock bottom

[Doggygirl]

What was your rock bottom

day by day, I can relate to every word of your post. You CAN get free. If I can, you can. Congrats on your AF days!

DG

[oceanlady]

What was your rock bottom

new to this site but can certainly identify with it. I have been AF since April 20, 2010 after pretty much drinking for 3 days, meaning anytime I was awake. I went to the hospital and got rehydrated and some librium to get me me through the next 48 hours. This is not the first time and I am scared as hell it will not be the last time for as I sit here I want to drink. I let some people down and feel very sad and remorseful. The last 10 years have been filled with on and off sobriety the most being a year, like others I have lost nothing but myself.

[Ijustrealised]

What was your rock bottom

Mine? When my wife brought me to court and the judge granted a 3 year barring order to my own home, he called me an alcoholic, so much an alcoholic that I believed my own story and said I was dangerous.
I denied everything, still lied but stopped drinking from that day, then last month had a few again and now I feel the cravings again so back to AF.
And today when I wanted to end it all because I finally confessed to my wife that she was right and knew she will use this in court to take my child from me forever.
I think there will be more rock bottoms but they won't be because of alcohol, just repayments for my past.

[clare]

What was your rock bottom

One of my worst rock bottoms I had was when I found out my father died,I drank a bottle of brandy and passed out and was very sick for one whole week,I have never touched a spirit since and am now very cautious and aware of the quantity of alcohol I now consume, nine years on and the effect it had is still fresh in my mind.

[dizilizid]

What was your rock bottom

My rock bottom was last night. I was so drunk, i don't know how i made it home. I couldn't see the road, and i was throwin up out my window as i drove along a mountain side. How i managed to survive is a miracle, and i finally pushed my wife too far. She has told me she never wants to see me again, or speak to me. She's taken my 1yr old son. I've lost it all, just for a couple hours of drinkin. I've made it through today without drinkin, and i am not goin to stop workin on stayin sober ever again. The emotions i'm goin through are so hectic. I can't cope. I just wanna sleep for a year.

[momof3]

What was your rock bottom

Dizlizid,

You can do this. One step, one hour at a time...you can claim your life back. Just get some solid AF time behind you. If you have to get medical assistance, than do that. The first few days are very tough physically, then it gets easier. You then have to create a new life for yourself that has no room for alcohol.

Today, we lost Cowgal who has been struggling for a very long time. She found her bottom. It reminded me that we don't know when our rock bottom truly is. Alcohol does eventually cause brain damage. It distorts are thinking and sucks our souls right out of us. The good news is, you can stop. We all can stop.

M3

[dizilizid]

What was your rock bottom

Thanks Momof3. I do believe we can all stop. I must and i will clean up this time. I've had it with always stuffing up.
I really hate alcohol now.
I sometimes find that i forget what i'm doing and end up going backwards. But i'm really going to give it my all this time round. No more excuses, no more lies, just absolute drive and passion to kill this demon and come out where the light shines.

[mario]

What was your rock bottom

:bump:

[SoFlo1]

What was your rock bottom

My wife is the most positive and optimistic person I know. I hit my bottom one night during yet another argument about my drinking when I saw on her face not the usual anger and tears but simply complete resignation and despair. For the first time, I truly felt these same feelings in myself as if I was looking in a mirror and it scared the crap out of me. Some people talk about a spiritual awaking, I think just as important is a bottom that includes seeing in yourself a spiritual death. That night was the moment for me.

[Mrs Donovan]

What was your rock bottom

This is a good thread thanks Mario

I've had a few rock bottoms but never could stop - then I became physically ill, physically unable to cope with drinking. I would wake at 3am gasping for breath, sweating, panicking, wandering about the house trying to catch my breath and feeling sick. When I went to my dr and got on antidepressants I knew that things had to turn round.

I thank God for those panic attacks now. I know if I have another drink I'll go right back to that hellish feeling so in a way it's like a natural antabuse!

[Guest]

What was your rock bottom

My rock bottom came at a very strange time. I hit what most people would class as a 'rock bottom' about 6 or 7 years ago. Back then I lost everything financially(and the rest), experienced technical homelessness(sleeping on a friends sofa), was in minor trouble with the law and really had nothing. Fast forward a few years and I'd rebuilt it inspite of my drinking. This then gave me something to really lose and yes now I had a car at last I eventually drove once under the influence - and immediately lost the car, licence, got criminal record, nearly killed myself and others etc.

I still wasn't at bottom. I lost virtually all my friendships as well as relationships, could not work regularly but still had roof over my head, money in the bank and eventually another car once I got my licence back. I was however in constant danger, often injuring myself via falls and accidents, not caring what happened to me sometimes.

It was March this year when I hit bottom. Still with somewhere ok to live, enough money in the bank to drink myself to death but I knew I had lost myself. I was sick of my non-existence, which was all it was by then. Physically my stomach, intestines and bowels hurt every single day, and my body felt no longer mine. I was being sick most mornings, had terrible gut pains and would often not be able to get out of bed to eat or attempt to keep fluids down until 5 or 6pm. I knew at that point I would never probably reach the classic homeless drunk stage, because I'd simple not live long enough to be out on the street at the rate I was drinking. My life was revolving around drink so much it was completely unbearable.

That was my rock bottom.

[K9Lover]

What was your rock bottom

My bottom was not my 2 DUI's. Nor my 20 days in jail. Nor my $15,000+ in fines. Nor my mandatory twice a week meetings for a year. Somehow I survived all that...kept my job, paid my fines, and kept right on drinking!

My bottom was waking up on the morning of April 1, 2010, at 2am...thinking "I just drank another 12 pack, smoked half a pack of cigarettes, and I am going to DIE". Later that same day, on April 1, 2010, I began my AF journey and haven't looked back.

[clare]

What was your rock bottom

K9Lover;937666 wrote: My bottom was not my 2 DUI's. Nor my 20 days in jail. Nor my $15,000+ in fines. Nor my mandatory twice a week meetings for a year. Somehow I survived all that...kept my job, paid my fines, and kept right on drinking!

My bottom was waking up on the morning of April 1, 2010, at 2am...thinking "I just drank another 12 pack, smoked half a pack of cigarettes, and I am going to DIE". Later that same day, on April 1, 2010, I began my AF journey and haven't looked back.

Well done k9 :goodjob: you have come through a lot.

[Rusty]

What was your rock bottom

K9,

You are a bright light, positive force and inspiration to all of us here. Great job!

[dancelot]

What was your rock bottom

Ukblonde;935482 wrote:



Still with somewhere ok to live, enough money in the bank to drink myself to death but I knew I had lost myself. I was sick of my non-existence, which was all it was by then. Physically my stomach, intestines and bowels hurt every single day, and my body felt no longer mine. I was being sick most mornings, had terrible gut pains and would often not be able to get out of bed to eat or attempt to keep fluids down until 5 or 6pm. I knew atthat point I would never probably reach the classic homeless drunk stage, because I'd simple not live long enough to be out on the street at the rate I was drinking.My life was revolving around drink so much it was completely unbearable.

That was my rock bottom.

From K9 My bottom was waking up on the morning of April 1, 2010, at 2am...thinking "I just drank another 12 pack, smoked half a pack of cigarettes, and I am going to DIE". Later that same day, on April 1, 2010, I began my AF journey and haven't looked back.

I'd given up my "bad" behaviors years ago - I now drank alone, so I didn't drive, didn't argue or fight anymore or do other unwise things because I was drunk, because I avoided everyone. I used to turn off the lights and drink in the dark, so my roommate would think I was asleep, rather than question why I was still up at 4 a.m. drinking (sometimes I'd wake up and have another one if I had been asleep - if it's still dark, it's not morning is it?).

I was feeling the feelings expressed by UK and K9 more and more. The day I came to MWO was the day they just sunk in, and were no longer "this is my future, and it's getting closer and closer" but "this is here and this is right now." I just knew, but more importantly, believed.