What was your rock bottom

[opan]

What was your rock bottom

Coming back onto this site for support and being ridiculed when all I wanted to do was make amends. Pan.

[Rusty]

What was your rock bottom

Hi Pan,

I am not familiar with you at all, but in the past, when people wanted to make amends for coming onto MWO drunk and were being obnoxious, they publicly apologized in the General Discussion Forum. It seems to work.....I'm just offering a suggestion because I don't know your previous login names, etc., or if you were brutal to some people on this site rather than helpful.

[Peacefull]

What was your rock bottom

If I ever get the desire or think I can moderate, I will remember that night.


:blush:

[bear73]

What was your rock bottom

haven't reached it yet - thought I'd act before that happened after years of wrestling with moderation/abstinence/binging.

Still early days - day6.

Mind you saying I haven't reached rock bottom - lost loads of money on booze/put on tonnes of weight/got unfit/worsened depression/carried on smoking.
It's not great is it?

[mario]

What was your rock bottom

:bump:

I like to remind myself of my rock bottom.

[Tipplerette]

What was your rock bottom

Hopefully my rock bottom was this past Friday night. Went for sushi, drank a few glasses of wine (probably a whole bottle) came home and was the most violently ill I have ever been in my entire life. That combined with a cluster of little accidents; my arm is still aching from a near tumble down the stairs and being paralysingly sick a few times within a month was enough to flip that switch for me. Only day three but something is different. Reading your posts makes me realize #1 how lucky I am to have hit a very gentle, cushiony rock bottom and #2 how lucky I am to have found this site. I see myself in the past, present and future in the posts I read. I hope that the tragedies of you people some of whom I have come to feel like I know is enough to keep me on the straight and narrow. But for the Grace of God go I... THANKS Mario for starting this thread. I have switched from one addiction to another; Gave up the Booze and am hopelessly addicted to MWO. So thankful. :thanks:

Tips

[I love donuts]

What was your rock bottom

I guess I've hit a few rock bottoms

I've been sober for close to two years now. I guess I've had a few rock bottom moments.

1) Getting someone pregnant during blackout sex and wanting to kill myself (seriously, not just an expression) when I found out.
2) Losing a bunch of money in Vegas while blackout gambling & then hitting the ATM for a big withdrawal & not remembering it.
3) Finding myself locked out of my San Francisco hotel room wearing the top half of a suit & no pants & no eyeglasses & having to call the lobby to have someone let me into my room. To this day I have no idea what happened & I never found my pants.
4) Almost getting arrested in Atlantic City for chatting up a prostitute while loaded. I'll never forget the policeman's phrase: "Don't let me catch you doing that again or I'll lock you up."
5) Having my fianc?e leave for over a year (we've gotten back together since I quit).
6) Coming close to losing my job (which I really enjoy) solely because of my drinking.

I have a few others, but this is a good half dozen to start with.

[tantangra]

What was your rock bottom

Good on you Tipplerette,
It's so wonderful you have made the decision to become AF. This site is a fantastic place for support and fellowship. Keep coming back here no matter what happens, there is no judgement just understanding and empathy.
Well done,
Tant

[Choochie]

What was your rock bottom

Hey everyone - be sure to post on other threads if you're new because no one will find you here on the Long Term Abstainers Thread! Go to the Just Starting Out Section and General Discussion Sections. Newbie's Nest is good too (under Just Starting Out).

Toolbox - (link below) is a great place if you haven't found it.

https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html
I'll look for everyone over there. Big welcome to you guys!!:welcome:

[autumn]

What was your rock bottom

My rock bottom was celebrating my 60 day AF with a 2 day binge whilst my husband was away.

Then seeing the raw pain, and hurt it caused him and all the new trust I had just built up blown away was beyond awful. He walked out on me as he was so devastated and angry. Thank God he came back when he had calmed down and we talked.

Next time he will walk for good. So please no next time.

AF 67 days -2

[coalfire]

What was your rock bottom

I am not an AA member but I have read them talking about the " yets". As in when someone says I havent been in trouble with the law or lost my job etc they say -yet. Well there was one that 1 million AA people would never have convinced me of and thats that I would be in trouble with the police. No way Jose. My biggest crime to date has been returning my library books back late and alcoholism or no alcoholism thats the way its going to stay -thank you very much. Recently I had argument with a policeman. There were no lasting consequences. He basically told me to go home and sober up and thank the Lord I did. The next morning I woke up and I went white with fear at the memory. This wasnt the usual feeling of shame. I actually shook and not from the drink. I had crossed a line that I wouldnt have believed possible. I swore in a way that I have never done before that that is it and I mean it. I couldnt handle waking up in a police cell. Really I dont think I could come back from that so thats it for me. Thats going to be my final rock bottom. This time next year I will be posting 1 year AF on the board and Im going to get there if it kills me.

[_Pan]

What was your rock bottom

The day my friends on this site started ridiculing me. I am suffering from a BPD disorder as well as battling al. I have been a bitch at times.

[Bruunhilde]

What was your rock bottom

Thank you Mario, this is an important thread. I relate to most of the posts here, and I appreciate everyone sharing their raw pain. This thread has helped me to feel that I am not alone. I have realized I'm not alone since I started MWO, but sometimes people are just so much farther ahead of me on their road to health and abstinance, I feel hopeless and even more of a failure.

Daybyday posted "I was a really happy free-spirited child although hyper sensitive [...]. That free-spirit died inside me somewhere a long time ago though in a bottle. "

I so relate to that, I feel like I lost who I was in my twenties and that I lost the path of my life partly due to despair and sensitivity which led me to increasing AL consumption because it was the only guaranteed daily painlessness I felt. Even if it was just an hour or two of good, and the next 22 of bad until I got my fix again. I wish I had found other sources of joy but my days were taken up with work and the gym, and neither bolstered my happiness. I now see I should have changed paths but I was under so much pressure to succeed, I felt there was no choice. Now I'm in my 40's, and have no relationship, a huge mortgage and my house is underwater (value wise, not actual flood), I've lost friends, upset family (note my family is not exactly kind and supportive), and I've never developed joy and self confidence.

I'm hung over today. I have my poor dog on the treadmill because he's so bored & full of energy he's whining for help, which I can't provide in a more fun way, because I'm sick, I'm in bed most of the day unable to even read, which has only happened to me 3-4 times in my life from AL. I'm surprised to feel well enough to be on this site, but it's afternoon now so I suppose I'm recovering for the day enough. I feel like an old lady, I've lost my muscles, my hair, my health.

I need to go AF. I am on bac, going to up it tonight from the 50. I have to find freedom and my willpower alone has not gotten me further than a day at a time, and that's been very very rare. Meds (topa and bac) have gotten me 4 days AF, but I succumbed again and got even worse.

My dream is to be super fit again, and to develop hobbies and a relationship I love (I never dated decent men I could commit to because I'm commitment phobic), and feel I've recovered my spirit and made the world a better place. Instead of a worse place!

So thanks to all of you who posted, there are so many very real, very brave and human AL stories here that are helping me to refocus and rededicate myself. I am tired of being fat and tired and scared. Thank you for your inspiriation, and your struggles, they all help me.

I can't believe it took me so long to find this thread!
:thanks:

[byebyebridgetjones]

What was your rock bottom

You know, I'm very grateful that I refound and reread this thread this morning.

I think I was waiting for the really big, bad, dramatic, end of denial thing to happen.
Something that I could no longer argue with. Something that would take the responsibilty of decision away from me (typical alkie)

Don't get me wrong, bad things happened. Loads of 'em. Just didn't seem to provide me with sustained conviction.

It's a relief of sorts to hear so many of you point to the inward bottom of the barrel experience, rather than the outward equivalent.

I just woke up one morning and could not think of a single thing that I wanted to do, not a person that I wanted to see, no place that I wanted to go nor any experience that I wanted to have. Nothing. Empty.

If I felt this way now at my age, what was life going to be like in 10 years or 20 years, assuming that I made it that far ?

There is no bleaker more bereft or profoundly lonely feeling.

It serves us to remember.

[InChains]

What was your rock bottom

I can relate a great deal to the post above, the last 3 weeks have been spent in the bottom fo a void of 'well... I have to do something'... but not a thing I want to do or see or experience. To me the rock bottom is not physical, 2 years ago I woke up in a hospital bed, I had nearly died and my family had been told to say goodbye, I remembered nothing. But this was not the bottom, this was not the lowest point I could reach because I had a reason to get up, I had passions and interests and friends.