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Wednesday, October 25

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    Wednesday, October 25

    Hi all,
    Mike encouraged me to start a new thread. I posted this last night under Tuesday.
    You can also go to my "my story" from a year ago (if it's still there) I posted heaps last Oct-Aprilish and then fell off the radar as I just plugged along in my sobriety. Brigid (about time too) and I have really teamed up and email each other often. It really makes and difference and means the world to me.
    Take care all and I hope to chat more on this long term abs site.

    Kel


    It's been ages since I last posted, but Brigid reminded me of the long term abs board here.
    She and I have been emailing each other tons in the last year and I'm so thankful for her friendship.
    I'm rolling up on a year of abs and am quite certain that I will never go on the drink again. I've toyed with the idea of moderation, but I just know it would be a slippery slope back to the old drinking days. I just don't want that ever again.
    I am so glad to see some old friends still here with lots of abs time in. And welcome to new friends who are just getting started. I remember clawing my way through the first month and then each day just gets so much easier until now drinking is a distant memory.
    Mike, you mention making amends and I think the one thing that I have learned is that I really have needed to make amends to myself. The path of self destruction that I was on was definately a nuisance for my husband and son, but I hid it so well and was so damn functional that I think my problem was a small blip on anyone's radar. It was a huge missile looming over my head, though.
    I agree with most everyone here that sobriety is the best way to make amends. It has also given me back my confidence and ability to grow and live each day to the fullest. My son now has a full time, engaged mom rather than a numb cow logging time on the couch in the evenings.
    One thing that I do struggle with, however is still explaining to people why I'm not drinking. I still feel the need to make excuses and dodge around the fact that I don't have an off switch when it comes to drinking. There is still a social stigma and it pisses me off. Brigid and I have talked heaps on thiis subject and maybe it is still a form of denial on my part, but I still hate the labels and the stigma of "alcoholism."

    I also wanted to touch on supplements for the newbies. Follow RJs instructions very closely. Milk thistle is so important for healthy liver function and we've done so much damage that I would recommend it for long term. All-One is like a magic pill. There is something in the formula that fills me up and energizes me for the day. I have it in a protein shake every morning and it's like a shot of adreniline in the arm for me.
    I'm very active. I run 5 miles every morning and play tennis 5 days a week and this stuff gets me through. it might be a placebo effect, but when I miss a day I feel like slipping. It tastes like vomit, but hide it away in a chocolate shake or fruit smoothie and it works wonders. I tell you.

    So, glad to be back on (the) board and will try to chat often.

    Take care all,
    Kel

    #2
    Wednesday, October 25

    thanks for the encouragement! i love to hear stories like yours. it really gives me hope, and yes i need to get on the supplement wagon...thanks for the reminder.

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      #3
      Wednesday, October 25

      Hi Kel --

      What caught my attention was the social stigma you mentioned.

      I think this is declining as time goes by, and people start to recognize alcohol and other addictions for what they are (physical illnesses) rather than seeing them as moral or spiritual failures. You are right, however, that they still exist. To that extent, we have to be careful about who we tell, and how.

      We had a discussion in monthly abs a while back about who we had "come out" to about our problem and our recovery. I think it's important for us to have at least one person in our lives that we can open up to. We can't keep it a complete secret.

      There is also the aspect of wanting to be of some help to others when you can. You want to tell them that there is a way to get out of the trap, if they want to do it. But to tell them that, you have to reveal that you were once in it.

      So it's a balancing act for sure. I'm still so new at this again that I am just focusing on "ME" and taking it a day at a time. But I'm curious how others feel about being open with others -- friends, family, co-workers, whoever -- about their recovery.

      I guess we have 2 discussion threads going today, which is great! See y'all later.

      Mike
      "Few things are impossible to diligence and skill. Great works are performed not by strength, but perseverance." -- Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784)

      Comment


        #4
        Wednesday, October 25

        Wow Kel, you're doing great and must be proud. The goal is to get into the best shape of my life. I think it's important for those starting out not to forget the supplements they are key, and to work on your mind too, they go hand in hand. There is no magic pill or we'd all be taking it...plus we are so used to quick fixes and giving the booze the heave-ho is no quick fix.

        Mike,after you started the thread about coming out with our challenge I did tell my mate, and my best friend. I think it helped my friend understand why I was distancing myself (she's a big drinker too but doesn't seem to think it's a problem.) I'm a very private person so this was a big deal for me.
        spacie

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          #5
          Wednesday, October 25

          Hi Kel.. nice to see you here.

          Everyone.. Kel was the greatest gift cyberspace could have given me in my journey to sobriety.. a real soul mate and I just LOVE her and those of you that dont know her.. you will too.. .she is a GEM. (you can pay me later Kel!!!)

          I think when we start out here people use different approaches.. products to help them. Kel takes supps.. I take none... but my strategies I do continue to enforce like a zealout. I'm not able to be casual about them. So whatever strategies you put in place.. stick to them like life itself depends on it... thats my advice. Some days are hard... I dont know why.. they just are.. and those days.. the strategies you put in place are the very things that will help you.. so dont let go of them.

          I'm talking to myself here.. cos I have this feeling like I want to get more casual about my sobriety.. not that I want to slip (NO WAY) but I dont want to be as consciously involved in it.. cos people here talk about me as an old timer.. and I dont think a year is an old timer... I think 3 years may qualify for that.. till then... I think its just too new.. and I feel like I must remind myself of that.

          The longer I remain sober the more adult Brigid is able to tell little Brigid that she is worth it and little brigid can slowly trust this and reveal her heart. I'm with Neil on this stuff... but it takes time and work.

          Even writing this, i feel self conscious and want to say something like.. i'm waffling.. but i'm not. I'm speaking from my heart.

          Brigid

          Comment


            #6
            Wednesday, October 25

            Spacie,

            Wow -- how brave of you to tell your mate and best friend. I was unsure from your post if you meant this was one and the same person or two separate people. Either way I can understand what a big deal it must have been to come out with that information. I'm curious: did you have a feeling of relief afterwards?

            Hope you've all had a good day out there~
            "Few things are impossible to diligence and skill. Great works are performed not by strength, but perseverance." -- Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784)

            Comment


              #7
              Wednesday, October 25

              Mike, you are posting while i am.. hi my friend... and of course I should have said something to spacie.. i was impressed you told your mate.. i remember posting on this site when i told my husband.. it was huge for me and a real stage in my sobriety.. so well done.
              brigid

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                #8
                Wednesday, October 25

                Hiya,

                Two separate people and I did get a sense of relief. Now, this is me being silly - I was sort of let down when I didn't get any applause, atta girl or confetti.
                spacie

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