Mike encouraged me to start a new thread. I posted this last night under Tuesday.
You can also go to my "my story" from a year ago (if it's still there) I posted heaps last Oct-Aprilish and then fell off the radar as I just plugged along in my sobriety. Brigid (about time too) and I have really teamed up and email each other often. It really makes and difference and means the world to me.
Take care all and I hope to chat more on this long term abs site.
Kel
It's been ages since I last posted, but Brigid reminded me of the long term abs board here.
She and I have been emailing each other tons in the last year and I'm so thankful for her friendship.
I'm rolling up on a year of abs and am quite certain that I will never go on the drink again. I've toyed with the idea of moderation, but I just know it would be a slippery slope back to the old drinking days. I just don't want that ever again.
I am so glad to see some old friends still here with lots of abs time in. And welcome to new friends who are just getting started. I remember clawing my way through the first month and then each day just gets so much easier until now drinking is a distant memory.
Mike, you mention making amends and I think the one thing that I have learned is that I really have needed to make amends to myself. The path of self destruction that I was on was definately a nuisance for my husband and son, but I hid it so well and was so damn functional that I think my problem was a small blip on anyone's radar. It was a huge missile looming over my head, though.
I agree with most everyone here that sobriety is the best way to make amends. It has also given me back my confidence and ability to grow and live each day to the fullest. My son now has a full time, engaged mom rather than a numb cow logging time on the couch in the evenings.
One thing that I do struggle with, however is still explaining to people why I'm not drinking. I still feel the need to make excuses and dodge around the fact that I don't have an off switch when it comes to drinking. There is still a social stigma and it pisses me off. Brigid and I have talked heaps on thiis subject and maybe it is still a form of denial on my part, but I still hate the labels and the stigma of "alcoholism."
I also wanted to touch on supplements for the newbies. Follow RJs instructions very closely. Milk thistle is so important for healthy liver function and we've done so much damage that I would recommend it for long term. All-One is like a magic pill. There is something in the formula that fills me up and energizes me for the day. I have it in a protein shake every morning and it's like a shot of adreniline in the arm for me.
I'm very active. I run 5 miles every morning and play tennis 5 days a week and this stuff gets me through. it might be a placebo effect, but when I miss a day I feel like slipping. It tastes like vomit, but hide it away in a chocolate shake or fruit smoothie and it works wonders. I tell you.
So, glad to be back on (the) board and will try to chat often.
Take care all,
Kel
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