?I must be perfect and never make a mistake. I should always be in control.
I must succeed. I can?t stand failure. I should always please and gain the approval
of others. Rejection is horrible. Life must be fair. Others should give
me my own way. I must be right. I must win.
Others ought to appreciate the things I do for them. Life should be easy.?
We can torture ourselves and others with a number of rigid shoulds,
oughts and musts. These ironclad convictions can produce guilt, shame
and other unpleasant emotions when we fail to live up to them. They can injure
our self-esteem. These inflexible beliefs can leave us angry when others fail to
meet our demands. They can injure our relationships.
These convictions can be hard to eliminate for several reasons. Firstly, because
they have worked for us to some degree in the past. In times
of stress they have helped us to survive. Secondly, they can be hard to
eradicate because we may not even be aware of their presence and the
influence they have on us. Due to frequent and long-term repetition
they have become part of our private logic and automatic thinking.
Are you changing your shoulds to coulds ?
I must succeed. I can?t stand failure. I should always please and gain the approval
of others. Rejection is horrible. Life must be fair. Others should give
me my own way. I must be right. I must win.
Others ought to appreciate the things I do for them. Life should be easy.?
We can torture ourselves and others with a number of rigid shoulds,
oughts and musts. These ironclad convictions can produce guilt, shame
and other unpleasant emotions when we fail to live up to them. They can injure
our self-esteem. These inflexible beliefs can leave us angry when others fail to
meet our demands. They can injure our relationships.
These convictions can be hard to eliminate for several reasons. Firstly, because
they have worked for us to some degree in the past. In times
of stress they have helped us to survive. Secondly, they can be hard to
eradicate because we may not even be aware of their presence and the
influence they have on us. Due to frequent and long-term repetition
they have become part of our private logic and automatic thinking.
Are you changing your shoulds to coulds ?
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