Tonight is cardio night. Going to do the inside exercise bike, as it?s too dark to ride outside, which is a shame. The weather is almost like September right now, instead of November.
Made some interesting progress in the past two or three days. I?ve been listening to the NLP audio program again, and new things are being apparent. It?s strange, that I can listen to it a few times, and put it aside for a month or two, and then upon listening again, it?s as if I completely spaced out certain things. It?s like I could swear that these are not the same tapes that I heard two months ago. Somebody must have stolen them, recorded different stuff, and then put them back in my CD wallets.
This just tells me that as I become more aware, and my mental facilities clear up and become sharper, that my cognitive abilities are improving. This is healing at its root level, and is further encouragement. Now approaching the 11 months mark next week, and yet new improvements in new ways are becoming manifest.
So I have no real topic here. It?s just an observation, that expansion into new areas is an ongoing process. It?s not like I figured in the beginning that if I could only make it to six months, I would have it all straightened out. Far from it. The stories that scare the crap out of me, are the ones of people being abstinent for 2, 3, 4 years, and then crashing back into the depths of alcohol misery. So I have to ask myself everyday, ?What would cause this to happen in my case??, and then try my best to build a shield or a defense.
The main work right now is digging into the psychological make-up. It?s like the exercise in a lot of ways. One can go great guns for a short period, and then burn out, and quit altogether. I know deep down in my case, that this is the beginning of the slide back into despair. So it is with the self-analysis work. It?s gets to be tedious and painful if done with unforgiving regimental rigor, and the burn out soon occurs. So a certain amount of flexibility must be built into the system.
So I?m going to paraphrase Forrest Gump a bit here, and come up with a new slogan for myself. Sober is, as sober does.
Be well,
Neil
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