AA is the only way. It does not say that. It says "this is how we did it"--it never says that this is the only way--its the only thing they found that worked for them.
Its an allergy. It actually says "its like an allergy"--which means to me I should stay the hell away from it--which I agree.
It is like diabetes. What it actually means is that people who have diabetes need to do certain things everyday to keep themselves well. I need to do certain things every day to stay well. When I don't I don't feel well--even if it is all mental.
Its a disease. They do say this--but who am I to argue with the Amercian Medical Association--I would guess that the board that decided that has many more qualification than I do to determine that. I also looked "disease" up in the dictionary. It says that a disease can be recognized by signs and symptoms--I had all the signs and symptoms.
It does not say that I am powerless over everything. It says that I am powerless over alcohol. To me that now means that if I started out with a drink--once it got inside of me--there were many nights it took me to places I never intended to go--even if I never left the kitchen.
AA gives me a set of tools and people to rely on so that I don't need a drink. My last craving--which was all mental was over 60 days ago. In that time I have not seen alcohol as a tool to use regardless of the situation--that is a miracle.
The religous aspect. I have found that most of the successes of AA fell into one of the 3 following categories:
1) Did not believe in a Higher Power
2) Did not like a Higher Power
3) Did not think a Higher Power would do crap for them
I fell into category 3. My position has since changed because of the evidence I see in those rooms--and in myself.
I used to always feel like my glass was half full--and it had small hole in the bottom and the little bit of esteem or respect I had was slowly draining out. Now, 90% of the time I feel like my glass is over flowing--thank God its not with booze.
One day I whined to someone on this board that I did not want to go because of the high failure rate of AA. I mean what are the odds that I might end up in the 3% that succeed. She told me that she was told that it actually has a 90% success rate if you work the steps. So thanks to her--I went back--I'm working the steps and my life--the one that lives inside of me--has changed and blossomed.
AA, My Way Out, MM, SOS--all have high failure rates with those who dabble. If I walk into AA I have a 3% chance of making it--here because its new I would relate walking into an AA room the same as registering on the site--I would say the failure rate is about the same. With both programs I think to have a fair shot you have to put yourself into doing 90% of the program. The difference for me with AA and My Way Out comes down to the fact that I decided not to take topamax. The side effects RJ talked about--I knew that I would not stay the course on the medication. And I knew I would not take "Smart" pills to counteract the side effects.
Those were the right decisions for me. Now I feel happy and free. With all that being said--it is time for me to exit the boards. I wish everyone the best here--and truly hope everyone gets to place with their drinking that they are happy. For me--I am so much happier without a drink than I ever was with one.
Kim
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