I think I finally get why I drink..

[mario]

I think I finally get why I drink..

Sigh part Deux;1080951 wrote: It takes me about an hour to find this thread, because I don't bookmark it, and I never remember posting stuff on it. But I search for it every week or so...

This will be my last post, because I didn't connect with Sigh, but did connect with coal fire and his/her link. It made a lot of sense. Being ignored didn't do much for me, so. I guess here we are. Maybe the next time I am here hammered wondering why I keep doing this and searching for an answer, I will find this and hear: your cries are filtered to the tune of who hears it.

Sigh if you post in the general thread you would get a much better & bigger response as in the long term abstainers thread unfortunately doesn't get much post.hope you come back and give it a another try.

[Sigh]

I think I finally get why I drink..

Sigh the 2nd if you're reading this and if you're in similar shoes accept that you're fucked and stop looking for short-term fixes. It's a lifetime affliction so far as I've been able to find with various digressions to and from it.

Money won't do it, girls won't do it, envy won't do it, love won't do it, I SURE DON'T KNOW what will. ~25k days on this earth and I bet you're wasting most of them like me. At the same time if you're not wasting them then I'm sure you aren't sure what you should be doing with them.

I'm drunk writing this post. Mario's thread on the 4 stages hit pretty solidly home, I'm on pace to worsen. I don't know that I'll hit stage 4 before I die but I may hit death before I hit stage 4. I'm 35 years old now.

I'm relatively healthy, relatively normal, and recognizant that I've got a problem. The difference between this post an others I did in the past is that I've known I had a problem for a long time, now others are starting to realize it too. Very few so far, and only my mom who I openly admitted I'm an alcoholic to. She said she had an idea about it from before but so far seems relatively content to ignore it. I guess other people know it too but are distracted by my "whateveritisthatdistracts".

If things don't change I'll be posting something else in the next ___ year(s) that will be about extended family too.

[retteacher]

I think I finally get why I drink..

sigh: I didn't want to experience life's ups & downs. Avoidance of life became a habit...a very bad habit. I also didn't want to be: nervous, scared, upset, angry, too exhiliarated, excited, etc. In other words, I didn't want to live. I'm learning to feel, go through life on life's terms, conquer life's ups & downs, resolve conflicts, complain, argue, ...all those things I avoided all those drinking years. Mary

[Raven.joy]

I think I finally get why I drink..

I think once we pick up we persist for as long as the bender lasts because we re addict ourselves to a substance (alcohol) that our bodies have that addictive reaction to. Why we pick up is harder to fathom. I think it can be wanting to belive we are 'normal', capable of the self control we see other people using. If accepting that we are addicts and can never have a drink was easy I guess we wouldn't be here, but lets all keep going.

[retteacher]

I think I finally get why I drink..

RJ: I just read your post again. I like the word readdict. That's exactly what would happen if I relapsed. I've heard it over & over again from people who had stopped for a period of time (even a long period of time). They always went back to their original levels of drinking after a short time. Mary

[Wildflowers]

I think I finally get why I drink..

:hxo:l