Hello fellow LT abstainers:
It's been a whole year. Somebody said, now I can say I am into year two of sobriety.
Is is a time to let back on the throttle? To ease back on the program? To relax a bit?
Not only no, but HELL no! I spent much time yesterday thinking about December 15th, 2005. What was going through my head back then? I dug deep to get at those memories, those sensations in my body.
I remember a deep ache in and around my heart area. Deep depression. Hopelessness. Despair that took on the form of real physical sensations. I remember pain in every muscle and joint of my body. I remember the wheezing of each labored breath, with the worst of it yet to come. I can remember every single cell in my body being damaged, and weakened.
Now, I look in the mirror, and see a set of eyes that are clear. I look closely at the iris in my eye, and see a consistency of the colors and lines that has not been there in three decades. The hair covering my head, is shiny, softer, and healthier. It is not dull, yellowish, brittle, dry and lifeless.
My main muscles in the legs and arms are gaining mass and definition. Picking up a twenty pound object seems like lifting a feather, compared to a year ago. It is those individual muscle cells I meditate on. They are not poisoned and damaged, stuggling to contract or expand. Each cell is now alive with new power.
I wonder, how much of my body is the same as last year. Our bodies are built to replace and elimate each individual cell over time. The old is eliminated, and the new is created.The muscles, the nerves, the bones, all are healing. The cells from a year ago, poisoned and struggling to function because of my self-destructions, are dissappearing. New cells, that have never seen the ethanol or acetaldehyde toxins are taking over.
We are not our bodies, but the stuff that we really are is contained and housed by our bodies. I think is the Teilhard de Chardin that said we are not physical beings seeking a spiritual experience, but spiritual beings having a physical experience.
No time to let up. Time to get busy. Time to become sober. I begin my second year, wondering just how strong I can become if I don't let up.
Saturday morning. This is the time and place. I have gone through a couple of thousand hung over Saturday mornings in my life. I now have 53 sober and clear ones under my belt. It is good.
Be well.
Neil
It's been a whole year. Somebody said, now I can say I am into year two of sobriety.
Is is a time to let back on the throttle? To ease back on the program? To relax a bit?
Not only no, but HELL no! I spent much time yesterday thinking about December 15th, 2005. What was going through my head back then? I dug deep to get at those memories, those sensations in my body.
I remember a deep ache in and around my heart area. Deep depression. Hopelessness. Despair that took on the form of real physical sensations. I remember pain in every muscle and joint of my body. I remember the wheezing of each labored breath, with the worst of it yet to come. I can remember every single cell in my body being damaged, and weakened.
Now, I look in the mirror, and see a set of eyes that are clear. I look closely at the iris in my eye, and see a consistency of the colors and lines that has not been there in three decades. The hair covering my head, is shiny, softer, and healthier. It is not dull, yellowish, brittle, dry and lifeless.
My main muscles in the legs and arms are gaining mass and definition. Picking up a twenty pound object seems like lifting a feather, compared to a year ago. It is those individual muscle cells I meditate on. They are not poisoned and damaged, stuggling to contract or expand. Each cell is now alive with new power.
I wonder, how much of my body is the same as last year. Our bodies are built to replace and elimate each individual cell over time. The old is eliminated, and the new is created.The muscles, the nerves, the bones, all are healing. The cells from a year ago, poisoned and struggling to function because of my self-destructions, are dissappearing. New cells, that have never seen the ethanol or acetaldehyde toxins are taking over.
We are not our bodies, but the stuff that we really are is contained and housed by our bodies. I think is the Teilhard de Chardin that said we are not physical beings seeking a spiritual experience, but spiritual beings having a physical experience.
No time to let up. Time to get busy. Time to become sober. I begin my second year, wondering just how strong I can become if I don't let up.
Saturday morning. This is the time and place. I have gone through a couple of thousand hung over Saturday mornings in my life. I now have 53 sober and clear ones under my belt. It is good.
Be well.
Neil
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