My 1st sobriety holiday
.....did the b/days funerals weddings xmas and new year! ect, ect.
I really did not think i could do this just thought i was not ready for it yet. The way my head was thinking before i went away, it keep telling me you know when you try and save up enough money to start a family and never seem to have enough or where you live is not enough room, (need a bigger place with more room.) Well that how it felt like with my soberity never seem like i had enough days months and years under my belt.
Just wanted to share with you my experience strength and hope!
Never thought it was possible to ever have a holiday without drinking well i loved every minute of my holiday, i was so in control with me and my feelings. I did get myself calm tablets for my nervers before i step on that plane, knocked me out a bit, which i was please about that. Some evenings i did experiences not feeling part off and felt uncomfortable, those were the moments i would know it was time to head back to my appartment. I think the worst moment i had was when i thought something bad had happen to my son and his g/f my stomach turnover i had the shits and wanted to be sick and the only think i could think of was to have a drink to calm my nervous down. But i try to keep it in the moment and not look too far a head of time.
The best moments was having a crystal clear head between my shoulders and remembering everything that happen and just chilling out enjoying myself by just being me, and having the freedom.
On the way home at the airport my son come back with a beer for him and his g/f and said that there is AF beer as well. So i just had to get a can. I have tasted the AF wine b4 and i think it is sh*t. But as soon as i poured the beer in the cup and smell it, see the head on it, and tasted it, it really tasted like the real thing without the buzz. It felt good
i knew i was playing with fire. I know my own mind will start playing tricks on me. Wont be having that again in a hurry. I come home on wednesday and still on a natural high. Customers in work that i dont knw are saying how well i look....
My plan was a simple one: That help me.
Made sure i had my calm tablets for the flight.
Made sure i did not go on a All inclusive holiday.
The swimming pool had no bars around the area.It was very private. (that suited me just fine, and help me a lot)
Had lots of books to read.
Did sightseeing, and walking and (took lots of photos which i enjoyed)
Made sure i had a list of AA meetings on me just in case and also a phone numbers and name of the person that took the meetings in the area i was staying.
I did come on mwo and read a few post as well.
I Made sure i enjoyed myself telling myself i dont know when the next holiday i will have.
Also had to tell myself sometimes,, make out to yourself your at home just act the way you would normally act. ( if that makes sense)
And also i kept it in the day, if not in the moment.
Thank you for reading my post. x Catch22 x
.....did the b/days funerals weddings xmas and new year! ect, ect.I really did not think i could do this just thought i was not ready for it yet. The way my head was thinking before i went away, it keep telling me you know when you try and save up enough money to start a family and never seem to have enough or where you live is not enough room, (need a bigger place with more room.) Well that how it felt like with my soberity never seem like i had enough days months and years under my belt.
Just wanted to share with you my experience strength and hope!
Never thought it was possible to ever have a holiday without drinking well i loved every minute of my holiday, i was so in control with me and my feelings. I did get myself calm tablets for my nervers before i step on that plane, knocked me out a bit, which i was please about that. Some evenings i did experiences not feeling part off and felt uncomfortable, those were the moments i would know it was time to head back to my appartment. I think the worst moment i had was when i thought something bad had happen to my son and his g/f my stomach turnover i had the shits and wanted to be sick and the only think i could think of was to have a drink to calm my nervous down. But i try to keep it in the moment and not look too far a head of time.
The best moments was having a crystal clear head between my shoulders and remembering everything that happen and just chilling out enjoying myself by just being me, and having the freedom.
On the way home at the airport my son come back with a beer for him and his g/f and said that there is AF beer as well. So i just had to get a can. I have tasted the AF wine b4 and i think it is sh*t. But as soon as i poured the beer in the cup and smell it, see the head on it, and tasted it, it really tasted like the real thing without the buzz. It felt good
i knew i was playing with fire. I know my own mind will start playing tricks on me. Wont be having that again in a hurry. I come home on wednesday and still on a natural high. Customers in work that i dont knw are saying how well i look....My plan was a simple one: That help me.
Made sure i had my calm tablets for the flight.
Made sure i did not go on a All inclusive holiday.
The swimming pool had no bars around the area.It was very private. (that suited me just fine, and help me a lot)
Had lots of books to read.
Did sightseeing, and walking and (took lots of photos which i enjoyed)
Made sure i had a list of AA meetings on me just in case and also a phone numbers and name of the person that took the meetings in the area i was staying.
I did come on mwo and read a few post as well.
I Made sure i enjoyed myself telling myself i dont know when the next holiday i will have.
Also had to tell myself sometimes,, make out to yourself your at home just act the way you would normally act. ( if that makes sense)
And also i kept it in the day, if not in the moment.
Thank you for reading my post. x Catch22 x
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