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A Few Things I Have Learned

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    #1

    A Few Things I Have Learned

    In my now 9 months AF I have learned that anyone who has struggled with the thoughts of whether to drink, not drink, stop for a month, stop for a day, stop for an hour, learn to moderate, etc. should not be drinking. There is no long term moderation that will be successful (okay in 99% - there's always the 1%). People who do not have drinking problems do not think about alcohol like this. If they drink fine - if they don't - they don't even notice.

    Plus, all the time and energy and resources wasted in thinking about alcohol, when you will drink, how much, if it is a reward, if it is a punishment, how much to keep in the house, where to dispose of the bottles so no one will know, etc. etc. UGGHHH.

    I choose to believe I have a TRUE medical allergy (or whatever you want to label it) to alcohol. I can not digest alcohol like a regular person. It enters my body and all the wires are mixed up and my brain goes haywire (ie. the oven starts washing clothes and the washer starts baking bread) and before you know it I want to cash in my life savings and move to the Bahamas and just "Have a Good Time." All alone.

    Knowing I have this "allergy" completely eliminates any illusion that I could become a social drinker or ever just have one drink.

    If I could not just have one when I wanted to be a moderate drinker - why could I just have one now?

    But every now and then that sneaky little bastard tells me - oooohhhh a nice glass of Chardonnay while you cook dinner would be okay. So as the saying goes, it will always be one day at a time.
    February 4, 2011 - My AF life began

    "My young children thank me for not drinking....what other motivation do I need?"
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    #2
    A Few Things I Have Learned

    MyFreeWill;1203311 wrote: In my now 9 months AF I have learned that anyone who has struggled with the thoughts of whether to drink, not drink, stop for a month, stop for a day, stop for an hour, learn to moderate, etc. should not be drinking. There is no long term moderation that will be successful (okay in 99% - there's always the 1%). People who do not have drinking problems do not think about alcohol like this. If they drink fine - if they don't - they don't even notice.

    Plus, all the time and energy and resources wasted in thinking about alcohol, when you will drink, how much, if it is a reward, if it is a punishment, how much to keep in the house, where to dispose of the bottles so no one will know, etc. etc. UGGHHH.

    I choose to believe I have a TRUE medical allergy (or whatever you want to label it) to alcohol. I can not digest alcohol like a regular person. It enters my body and all the wires are mixed up and my brain goes haywire (ie. the oven starts washing clothes and the washer starts baking bread) and before you know it I want to cash in my life savings and move to the Bahamas and just "Have a Good Time." All alone.

    Knowing I have this "allergy" completely eliminates any illusion that I could become a social drinker or ever just have one drink.

    If I could not just have one when I wanted to be a moderate drinker - why could I just have one now?

    But every now and then that sneaky little bastard tells me - oooohhhh a nice glass of Chardonnay while you cook dinner would be okay. So as the saying goes, it will always be one day at a time.
    Just what I needed to see this morning. I want to quit more because of my obsession with it than for the physical ramifications of it. Many of my friends/family drink similarly to me but don't worry about it. Just by virtue of the fact that I worry about it makes it a huge problem in my life.

    I bet I spend up to 1/5th of my waking hours either drinking or thinking about drinking or quitting. Now that I have committed to not drinking through Christmas, I am still obsessing over it. My goal is to reach a place where I don't even have to think, worry or make promises to myself anymore. I want this MONKEY off my BACK.

    Great post.
    Tipplerette

    I do this for my children, my grandchildren, my health, my peace of mind, and mostly for the opportunity to learn to live with my true, unfiltered, clear-headed, vulnerable self.

    "If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading."
    ? Lao-Tzu

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      #3
      A Few Things I Have Learned

      Great post Myfreewill and congratulations on your nine months sobriety,keep at it and keep posting your thoughtful and insightful posts :-)


      :congratulatory: Clean & Sober since 13/01/2009 :congratulatory:

      Until one is committed there is always hesitant thoughts.
      I know enough to know that I don't know enough.

      This signature has been typed in front of a live studio audience.

      Comment

        #4
        A Few Things I Have Learned

        mfw: So true. My husband is a normal drinker. If we're out, he sometimes doesn't even finish a second drink. It would never occur to him to set up "rules" about drinking: when, how many, what kind, etc., because he doesn't need rules. I needed rules & was always trying to rearrange them to suit my needs. Additionally, I was always looking at others' normal drinking patterns to see if I could match them. I never could, because I ALWAYS wanted more.

        I too get those thoughts too:
        -Maybe I wasn't so bad. (But who gets taken to the ER w/alcoholic overdose?)
        -Maybe I can have just one. (I couldn't then & I can't now.)
        -Just this once. (No, it would send me into a binge.)

        I too know I cannot moderate. I tried & tried (see above rules). I like being sober. It cuts out all the thinking, planning, etc.

        Mary
        Wisdom, Courage, Strength
        October 3, 2012

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          #5
          A Few Things I Have Learned

          How you look at your relationship with AL is very positive -

          I agree for the majority of people who struggle with AL, maintaining a healthy relationship with AL is impossible so modding doesn't work.

          Moderation has its place - I think it is often another stage of recovery, for someone to come to the realisation that they cannot drink and must go AF.

          Without this some people would fall into a cycle of long term binge drinking xx
          To see a world in a grain of sand
          And a heaven in a wildflower.
          Hold infinity in the palm of your hand,
          And eternity in an hour.

          Comment

            #6
            A Few Things I Have Learned

            Hi My Free Will,
            I very much can relate that deciding how much you could drink, when and where....it begins to take over your life. I'm just starting, but can certainly relate...
            "Leap and the net will appear." - John Burroughs

            Comment

              #7
              A Few Things I Have Learned

              A well needed post. I got tired of the rules and regulations re drinking (the monkey on my back). Deep down I would like to have started in the morning and slowly kept going all day. Al meant more than food and other peoples company. Luckily my rules and regulations kept me at a moderate level with the occasional binge that most drinkers have (if they are honest). What wore me down was the rules/regulations and the constant need for control. I am tired of drinking, wanting more and having to say no to myself. I feel it is poison to my body...expensive poison. I feel great not drinking and socially more able. I am AF for 4.5 weeks. One day at a time.

              Comment

                #8
                A Few Things I Have Learned

                lulu: I too see the rules as the monkey on my back. I could probably make a fairly good argument for my not being a completely down-&-out alcoholic. But an alcoholic was what I was nevertheless:
                -I was constantly wanting more.
                -I would have loved to have begun drinking in the AM & not finished until it was time for bed...I certainly did that on many occasions.
                -Yes, I had many a binge.
                -Yes alcoholism interfered w/my relationships.
                -I was hiding my drinking.
                -etc.

                -No, I was never arrested, fired from my job, was homeless, lost my family. That didn't happen yet. The operative word is yet, because if I had kept drinking the way I was, all those things would have happened.

                Mary
                Wisdom, Courage, Strength
                October 3, 2012

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                  #9
                  A Few Things I Have Learned

                  :hxo:l

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