when did you feel loads better AF?

[bear73]

hello long termers, I'm on day 11 AF here.
When did you feel better mentally, did you feel bluesy initially? I've been feeling anxious and more blue than normal, bit tearful.
When did this clear up for you?
I was a binge social drinker, I drank 21-35 units a week in 2 nights.Occasionally had 2 drinks mid week but could take or leave it.
Is that enough booze to give me detox, and mood swings?

I've had a few headaches which I don't usually get, and I'm seeing problems in relationships more clearly than before (I did see it before but buried it a bit I think).
I'm quite tired but feel fresh if that makes sense, I think I have moments of anxiety but I feel clearer.

Also asked this in general forum but how did you decide whether to do AF, moderate?
I'm thinking abut that now whether to do 1 month or 3 months AF (with day off to moderate at day 35 as partner's birthday - or maybe not - what extra enjoyment would that eve of drinking give me?).
any advice v gratefully received

[Lotus]

when did you feel loads better AF?

Bear

Firstly congrats on day 11 AF.

I suffered from headache's on my second week too, I believe it may be a side affect. That week I think I must be have taken painkillers as if they were smarties. I'm on day 22 of AF now and the headaches have gone, but I am not sleeping as well. Saying that I am still waking up much more refreshed, than I would have done on a hangover, and if I do get up more earlier or can't sleep, I make use of that time and have done things that I have been putting off so long.

In terms of how long to be AF that again is a personal choice. I've initially decided I was going to be 1 month AF, (after many attempts at mods and failing to maintain it) but then when my husband went for a job interview, I prayed and did like a bargaining with God that I will give up alcohol for 6 weeks if my hubby got the job. (It's a bit hard to explain, but very similar in terms of giving up something for Lent). So far, I'm hoping that I can continue AF after 6 weeks and maybe have a drink on my birthday next month. I am worried that I may not be able to stop at 1 drink, but for me that will be the test.

All the best.

Mandy x

[Pebbles]

when did you feel loads better AF?

Bear,
I'm not AF, but very very mod at the moment and feeling loads better already. Since the beginning of the year I've only had 3 evenings when I've had a drink and those have been controlled drinks. I've had the headaches too, but today I found myself singing in the car...thank goodness I was alone, but it's been ages since I've felt "good".

Pebbles

[AAthlete]

when did you feel loads better AF?

Bear, I'm VERY MUCH like you in that I would binge like crazy on the weekend and would be fine during the week (once I got past feeling like crap on Monday). I just finished Day 7 AF and am feeling fantastic! Have had a very minor thought pop into my head once or twice but managed to quickly shoo it away...

Haven't used the Kudzu or CD's yet (they are on the way), but have already read the MYO book and am in the middle of Allen Carr's book as well. My only real issue so far is that I am not sleeping through the night. I will fall asleep for two hours, then wake up. Go back to sleep and repeat that scenario until it's time to wake up. It seems to be getting a little better day by day, though, and if that is the worst of it I will take it.

I'm guessing that you could still be having mood swings, as you body still needs to adjust to not having the alcohol each week. The relationship problems make sense as well, as you are no longer deadening your senses each week and are more easily able to focus on it instead of the booze.

I've decided to go AF all the way. Not that I agree with all that Carr has to say, but he would claim that people fool themselves into the reasons that they need to drink, instead of looking at the excuses that they make to drink. To me, I would much rather put this whole mess behind me and get on with enjoying my life, but each individual needs to make their own choice.

Good luck to you and congrats on being AF for long long already!!

[southernbelle47]

when did you feel loads better AF?

Hey Bear,

I've been seriously working on this for about a year.
It takes more time than we think it will to get the stuff out of our bodies and head! I have had to go abs because if I mod, it just gives me permission to drink 2, 3, and then that turns into 6! From all I've read, 2-3 everyday is not mods. Sorry..

Be patient with yourself. Anything worth doing takes time and work.

Nancy:l

[AAthlete]

when did you feel loads better AF?

Bear, forgot to mention that my drinking finally got pushed over the edge by a serious bought of depression. Consequently, I've been on Lexapro for the last three months, which has made a tremendous difference and is why I might not be experiencing the blues like you are (I was also very tearful - actually broke down in the doctor's office).

[mikeupnorth]

when did you feel loads better AF?

Hi Bear,

Congrats on 11 days! You have (in my opinion) made it through one of the first hurdles. When I first started, I kept failing at somewhere between 5 and 10 days. I did that over and over again. So keep on going!

The amount you describe drinking certainly would have had an effect on your body and brain's chemistry, so withdrawing it would cause some effects which you are feeling now. The vitamins, amino acids and other supplements that RJ recommends can help with the withdrawal symptoms.

More important than the physical withdrawal, though, can be the psychological withdrawal. Every time I tried quitting drinking in the past, I felt like I was depriving myself of something. I felt like I was missing out on the fun when I saw others drinking, and I felt like a freak because I couldn't drink like a normal person. I was a mess when I drank and miserable with the consequences, but I was just as miserable when I quit. One of the things that's different for me this time is that I was able to change the way I thought about alcohol. I credit Allen Carr's The Easy Way to Stop Drinking for this, because reading it was a turning point in my recovery. It helped me to see and understand that I'm not "giving up" anything; that alcohol is not doing anything positive for me or for anyone else; that I am a whole and complete person without alchohol and never needed it in the first place. Instead of thinking of how deprived I am, I can either be indifferent about it or I can think of how lucky I am to be free. So for me, the way I felt was directly related to what was going on in my mind. Once I changed my thinking, I immediately felt better.

As to how I decided whether to be mods or AF, well - it became clear after a while that mods just wasn't possible for me. I tried it, even on Topamax, and got very drunk over and over. So I finally decided that if I wanted to have a life that was worth living I was going to have to let go of the alcohol completely.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it!

All the best,

Mike

[Changeling]

when did you feel loads better AF?

No mods for me

I'm with Mike on this.
Moderation just did not work for me, and believe me I tried & tried & tried.

For me it is easier to make the decision I do not - will not drink.. End of..
I have found that then I do not spend time thinkin about when and how much I will drink.

After 27 days AF I am feeling better than I have for years
My health, focus, concentration, appearance, sleep & finances have all improved.
I would be crazy to spoil it all for a few hours drinking.
I would also recommend the Alan Carr book - it's a great tool to change your mindset.

Anyway Bear - congrats on your 11 days
loads of best wishes in your journey
Changeling

[africaneil]

when did you feel loads better AF?

Before I quit 41 days ago, I tried moderating - weekends only. Ha ha! Every weekend became increasingly out of hand, until after the mother of all hangovers, I realised there is only one solution for me. Abstinence.

The very act of renouncing felt good. It's like letting go of the devil who used to sit on my shoulder. He's long gone.

The first week or two were a bit up and down but then things settled down. I've also been seeing an analyst for most of last year (not ostensibly about booze). My growing awareness was a major factor in deciding to stop the self-destructive drinking.

Life without booze is so much better. Lucudity and a calmness I missed before (when I drank i was often on a manic mission). And I did some pretty stupid things during my drinking years. That's history.

Alcohol is full of negative qualities. Life, and embracing it, as an alternative, is so much preferable.

[skootiemom]

when did you feel loads better AF?

Hey Bear-

Huge congrats on what should be 13 days now, if my math is correct!

I agree with Mike, Changeling and Africaneil. Mods is just too much work & energy. I am af 15 days AF and I am feeling MUCH better and more confident about my choice not to drink. Today, I nearly fell over when I was presenting something at work - I was clear, focused and articulate! Two collegues even commented on my demeanor! I feel like I am coming back, after a 10 year absence from reality. It feels good, right and more natural everyday.

Hang in there!

Skootie