If I Arrived at WMO Today....???

[FarfallaP]

If I Arrived at WMO Today....???

Hi Everybody,

I have been lurking at MWO off & on since 2007, and this site, and the generous people who have shared their stories and lives on this site, have meant the WORLD to me...some days I search longer than others, to find the "golden nuggets," but I am SO GRATEFUL that it - and all of you - have been and ARE here, for me and for others who are sharing this struggle. It's maybe not perfect, but the help = and the Tool Box = ARE here. Tears come to my eyes as I try to express my deep appreciation...thanks, everyone! F

[sunshinedaisies]

If I Arrived at WMO Today....???

Farfalla - that is wonderful to hear..... yes, it isn't perfect - but there is always a soul here to listen to you......

Hugs, sun XXX

[KateH1]

If I Arrived at WMO Today....???

I just want to make this clear. I am not suggesting that anyone leave, as that is not my place. As for my analogies, the point I was making is that if a person does not how to fix a situation for themselves, how can they be an expert to others. This is not about "Judging".

This post was simply my thoughts and feelings and I wanted to share and connect with others. Sorry that I do not meet with your approval (see Judging). But, I stand by every word. As it has been mentioned many times, we are all different, and if judging me and imagining that you can read my mind and my intentions, Sun, then so be it! Goodnight!

[RingingCedars]

If I Arrived at WMO Today....???

Who's claiming to be an expert?? Please get over yourself Kate. And that's all I will say. Goodnight!

[sunshinedaisies]

If I Arrived at WMO Today....???

Oh gosh - I wouldn't dream of leaving. I never have claimed to be an expert on anything. I just offer MY opinion or advice, as I am sure you do the same. One can only do that. We are all after the same end - to help others and ourselves on the road to sobriety. You are way ahead of me Kate in your sobriety and that I think is great - go you. I didn't judge you anywhere nor read your mind, or your intentions, to my knowledge. If you thought I was, then I apologize. I was merely replying to your post.

Sun

[daisy45]

If I Arrived at WMO Today....???

Kate, I for one, would love to see the impact that your involvement would have. I look forward to getting to know you.....

[SKendall]

If I Arrived at WMO Today....???

Hi Kate and a big congratulations on your four years.

MWO has grown so much that there is not just a couple of threads any more. Many people have gained long term sobriety here and I focus on that. I don't think moderation is possible at all. Many people who have gotten sober have moved on so we don't see that long term sobriety so prominently. Remember Xtexan?

I've been here for a long time and many of the old one's were kind of run off. It took me a long time to get over the 6 month mark, but I did it. I didn't always admit my relapses, because I knew it had been my decision to drink. Many decide accountability is the way to go so they check in every day and their day to day life is posted, along with friends and members.

Asking for help regarding alcoholic drinking is huge and we have to bare ourselves and people who have been in that position and shared that bond very easily. They have lots in common and have meet ups in real life, which I think is great.

I'm not too sure what you mean about PRIVATE threads. I am a subscriber because when Roberta appealed to us for money to keep the lights on many responded and I believe it's a very inexpensive investment with lots of return on that investment.

There will always be threads that not everyone agrees with. Do you remember the MAKE-UP thread? You were a participant, because I remember you recommended the mineral make-up, but many objected thinking it was frivolous, but it's life.

I would not even dream of trying to turn MWO around. It is what it is formed by the people who visit here. Honestly, I don't read the Newbie's nest very often, but I know there is a lot of support given by people who have solid sobriety. People come here from googling drinking problems and don't understand the addictive brain, but I have learned so much here from the people who do research and understand the disease.

You do sound troubled about MWO in it's present state and I really have no comment on that. I still find it a valuable tool for my sobriety because I am "connecting" versus "isolating" and IMHO that's a very good thing.

Best wishes, Kate.

[KateH1]

If I Arrived at WMO Today....???

So nice to meet you, Daisy...you live in a beautiful country!! I hope that you achieve your goals!

Peace, Sunny! Seriously.....I wish you only health and happiness...truly!

[LibraryGirl]

If I Arrived at WMO Today....???

I'm not on anyone's side, let me say that disclaimer right off the bat. In fact, I may be a mere annoyance on this thread as everyone seems to have deep seated emotions and relationships that go beyond my membership here. I do not, however, like the analogy of "would you take advice on losing weight from an obese person (who continues to stuff their face, I think it was said)." I might be considered obese. I have sixty pounds to lose to be "ideal" and I am working on it. I have however in the past been ideal and exercised regularly. I could tell you what works and what doesn't, even though I don't illustrate it right now. I once took an exercise class and the instructor was quite overweight, and I thought, why the hell am I taking lessons from her? I found out quickly that not only could she do the moves, she was in far better shape than I was (and I was "fit" then).

Not sure what point I'm making, as I have also said I see some dishonesty among some of the members here, IMO, occasionally, regarding AL. Either to themselves (it has to be) or by explaining and excusing their behavior to others. Regardless, experience is a great teacher whether you've gained by it or lost.

LG

[daisy45]

If I Arrived at WMO Today....???

KateH1;1335897 wrote: So nice to meet you, Daisy...you live in a beautiful country!! I hope that you achieve your goals!

Peace, Sunny! Seriously.....I wish you only health and happiness...truly!

Nice to meet you too Kate! Glad you put it out there - defo something everyone should take note of.......

[SKendall]

If I Arrived at WMO Today....???

Well, I walked the dog in the middle of my post so didn't see all of the other posts. Sunny, I am with you on your thoughts and LG, Daisy, Oney, Zenny and anyone I have missed. The replies are as varied as everyone on this forum.

I am sorry the post has caused some people to second guess their achievement on this journey. Just keep going and connecting. The fact that ANYONE is here means they are looking for a way out from alcohol. I suffered greatly from alcohol abuse - legally, physically and mentally. Gratitude for MWO doesn't begin to describe my feelings. I was never as moderate as Sunny, it was drink to excess whenever I did.

Best wishes to everyone on this journey. 4 months ago I had a major surgery to rebuild my foot and have been on a knee walker for 4 months. I am walking upright just today, but painfully. My friends at MWO allowed me to gripe, understood me and supported me and that has been invaluable to me. I stayed sober during this time and it was very difficult doing this alone, so I concentrate on gratitude and not what MWO doesn't have.

[Kradle123]

If I Arrived at WMO Today....???

My Dear SKendall:

What flower is your Avatar? I want to plant it in my garden.

:flower::flower::flower::flower::flower::flower::

[one2many]

If I Arrived at WMO Today....???

In regard to the analogy, thats all it was..an analogy....I was not getting on at anyone who is overweight.
I used to struggle with my weight in that I was too thin, I was desperate to put on weight but I would have found it hard to accept advice from someone who was thinner than me simply because they were not displaying the results I craved.

If I wanted to bake a cake, I would not take advice from someone who themselves could not boil an egg, nor would I take swimming lessons from someone who could only tread water while still clinging to the edge.

The point I was making is, I would wonder to myself, you are giving me this advice, yet you cannot take your own? What you are doing must not be such good advice after all otherwise it would be working for you...When I see somebody walking the walk and talking the talk and getting the AF days under their belt...OH YES, I want their advice, I want what they have, I want to find out HOW they did it.......


In regard to moderation, sometimes reading the moderation thread breaks my heart, to see people still struggling, beating themselves up, trying to only have 2 drinks and ending up having 6...planning, trying, going over their limit and feeling crap about themselves and doing this all the time.
Someone mentioned Roberta Jewel.....Altho moderation worked for her for a while, it did not work in the long term and she went back to being completely AF.

Again, I have to reiterate that drinking daily IS a problem, I know coz I was a daily drinker....sometimes I would only have 2...but I HAD to have them and that is ALCOHOLIC behaviour. It is most definitely not about HOW much you drink....
In regard to having the tools and knowing that you WOULD be sober if you used them, just beggers the question of how much you want to be sober...If you want it you’ll find a way, if not you’ll find an excuse.

I have seen some long termers try EVERYTHING and I mean EVERYTHING, explore every avenue of recovery and go to the ends of the earth to get sober only to fall again, I salute them, I have seen how much they want it and how much they have tried and how utterly desperate they are to get sober and then you have people saying I know what works but I don't do it ?????

LG, I am with you on the dishonesty thing, I have seen some LONG term members come on here drunk and cause all sorts of trouble, stir up shit and them come back the next day as if nothing happened.

I know for a fact there are others who feel the same way but they don't post for whatever reason...there was another thread last year called "Wake up People", they posted there but it caused such an uproar, maybe that's why they have not posted this time.

Anyway, this is MY thoughts and MY opinions, thats all.

[sunshinedaisies]

If I Arrived at WMO Today....???

one2many;1336056 wrote:
Again, I have to reiterate that drinking daily IS a problem, I know coz I was a daily drinker....sometimes I would only have 2...but I HAD to have them and that is ALCOHOLIC behaviour. It is most definitely not about HOW much you drink....
In regard to having the tools and knowing that you WOULD be sober if you used them, just beggers the question of how much you want to be sober...If you want it you?ll find a way, if not you?ll find an excuse.

I agree with you. I have questioned myself on the same thing. I enjoy my drink every day and once I decide to quit - yes, yet again, I will get a plan in action. But still feel I can offer advice on some things. Yes, I can't offer advice on how to be AF for any length of time - but can offer advice on what worked for me at the time when it did work. I was the one who caved...... A lot of others here offer advice too - you don't have to be AF to offer a shoulder or an ear. I rarely offer advice on how to be AF, which is where I think this whole thread started. I can just tell folks what worked for me at the time..... when I first came here, I was given advice from people at all stages of their journey and welcomed each and every post - it mattered not to me if they still struggled in their own journey - they were reaching out to ME which meant so much. WE are ALL needed here and all have our own things to offer and it would be sad if it was said that only those who are AF can offer advice - which, I think is what Kate is saying. PLEASE tell me if I am wrong. I do know where you are coming from - but we all do have different perspectives that we can share no matter where we are on this journey.

Sun

[mama bear]

If I Arrived at WMO Today....???

I am glad I missed this last night
Joy and laughter has helped me, as well as late night phone calls and time spent with friends made here. You, Kate, have never responded to anything I have ever said with a kind or supportive word.
So I have deliberatly ignored you. I applaud and admire your sobriety. And it has hurt me many times that you deem me a "common drunk" as it has taken me longer to become perfect like you.
I have made many, many friends here and we all support each other warts and all.
That's all for me...
anyone needing a kind or support hand...please reach out......I give tough love too....