I wrote a few months ago, or so about having those dreams, where I would be drinking and smoking again. Then I would wake up in a fit of anger, fear, and self-loathing. Even though it was a dream, I felt like a real turd.
The last one I had like that, I was really enjoying a tall glass of beer, and a cigarette. In the dream, I had been at it for hours, and was getting stupid and goofy. It really got me when I woke up, because I was really getting into it, like I used to.
So, now, on to the new dream. I had it this past Saturday night I think. I was at an airport in this dream, and was with a group of people. They were all pressuring me to go to a bar, and to get trashed with them. I said, "I'm afraid not, don't do that anymore!"
They kept after me, calling me names, and the usual crap line, "Ah, one ain't gonna hurt you!"
Then in the dream I raised my voice quite loud at them and yelled, "LISTEN FOLKS...I AM DONE WITH THAT SHIT! I'm not going to repeat myself! You can go on ahead, but count me out."
So, then I woke up, and went "Gosh! That never happened before." Something has clicked in my brain, subconsciously or something. I have never, ever, in my entire life had a dream where I absolutely refused to drink and smoke or whatever.
Very, very strange. Maybe I really am getting somewhere here.
BE WELL.
Neil
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