Long Termers' Tips for Christmas

[Janice]

I'm dying for the day when I feel I can qualify to post on this board regularly but for the time being as I approach my 7th month of sobriety I am quite happy posting on the little 30 Day thread in Need Help Asap started by PlantJanet and where I consider myself at "home".

I've got to where I am today not by counting every single day or even weeks (havent needed to) but thanks to Jason Vale's book "Kick the Drink...Easily!" and of course MWO. It was that lightbulb moment back in May when I realised there was nothing to give up in the first place & that I wasnt going to be making a sacrifice...that it was all a huge con!! Something just clicked and reading this book totally turned my "drinking thinking" around and although it hasnt been "easy" I can honestly say I havent come close to taking a drink.

But as Christmas approaches I dont mind admitting I'm getting a bit anxious and wondered whether any of you longtermers have any special advice or tips that have really worked for you & helped you get through the celebrations with your sobriety well in tact?? Thanks..

[Nelz]

Long Termers' Tips for Christmas

I personally think that everyone has something to offer, no matter if its day one or day one million for them.

Its amazing what you can pick up from almost all the posts on this board. So post away, thats what Id like to see everyone do.

7 months is an amazing achievement....you are pretty good at it at this point, Keep it up

[Janice]

Long Termers' Tips for Christmas

I totally agree Nelz that everyone has something to offer......the longtermers may well have one or more AF Christmases under their belt and so be able to offer valuable advice, tips, suggestions for us all to learn from. Yes I'm 7mths AF but I have to admit I'm feeling kind of vulnerable right now.

[SAUSAGE]

Long Termers' Tips for Christmas

Hi Janice

I'm feeling just as anxious/ vulnerable as you as I approach Christmas, however I have in fact done a sober Christmas in 2008, as part of my 8.5 month quit in 2008/09. Of course I did a sober new year around this time too. I'm curious to read my thought processes around this time so I looked back on my old threads and if you search amongst threads I started ( there are about 75!) you will find AF daily threads I started for the festive / new yr season including 24 Dec 08 and the new yr that followed.I am going to re read these as they may help. Sorry I can't attach a link but if you have any difficulty finding them let me know.

I'm sure you know that you have to click on my public Profile to find threads I have started. If you just look at previous posts it won't take you back far enough - you can only search the last 500.

xx

[Kimberley]

Long Termers' Tips for Christmas

Seven months is awesome - well done! The only thing I need to have a sober Christmas is the memory of where I was before I got sober, how miserable and out-of-control, and how much I lost due to drinking, and how little I gained. Knowing what drink does to me is enough to keep me sober at xmas.

Is there any particular reason you are concerned? I find that I get through a lot of things sober that I never thought I would. They just take some getting used to.

I make it easy for myself on xmas day - i go and work at a homeless shelter, because I don't really enjoy xmas usually. But there are lots of parties, New Years etc with the drink flowing - I just go sober. I don't feel I'm missing out, because I know if I drank pretty bad things would probably happen - they usually did with me. And then I'd have to start all over again. It's just not worth it. The last xmas period I drank on, I spent Christmas day alone in bed with concussion! Not fun.

Whatever happens, don't put yourself in any danger of slipping. But otherwise, focus on enjoying yourself sober. No-one needs to drink to have fun, not least someone who has a lot to lose from drinking.

[Byrdlady]

Long Termers' Tips for Christmas

Hey Janice! 7 Months IS a long termer! You are doing great! This will be my second sober Christmas. I know you prolly already do these things, but here are some of my tricks.
Go to the party a little later than you normally would. When you are among the first to arrive, it is awkward...often you are standing there, exposed and vulnerable. So get there later than you normally would...when lots of folks are already there.
I like to take my own drink..usually caffeine free diet coke. I am my own bartender...not that I don't trust anybody else, but I don't trust anybody else...ehehehe.
Don't go with an empty stomach! I know there'll be goodies there, but you will be much better satisfied if you go and are not starving when you get there.
Have your excuse ready to whip out...that hostess will chip away at your armour if you let a small crack of hesitation show. Let, NO THANKS...be the first words out of your mouth! Or 'I've got something over here'....Don't look like you are 'longing' for something, or someone will get it for you!
Here's my best tip....ACT DRUNK! Talk a little louder, laugh out loud!!! Have a good time!!! That's why you're there! You will be amazed at how much MORE fun you can have sober! AND you don't make a fool of yourself! (see Christmas of 2005 when I fell down stairs and broke my tailbone and 3 ribs)
Finally, leave early. I used to be the last person to leave....no more. After a while my sleep becomes more important than listening to the same old jokes....
Visualize success and you will have it! Remember, HOPE is not a strategy! You will be just fine! Just protect your quit!!! Don't give it up no matter what and no matter who!!
Sorry to ramble...but these things have helped me...Byrdie

[about time toooo]

Long Termers' Tips for Christmas

Janice

Every day is the same. It does not matter if its a dull day at home cleaning or your birthday or christmas. Every day you wake up and you know that just having one drink is the problem so its easy. Just dont have one drink.

Read through the my story section of this site.. in all those pages is there one post that says, I"m so happy I drank.. I had such a good time. If there was, would you believe it? No. Its full of the remorse and angst. that we all know so well.

Never understate how hard it is to start AGAIN to get sober. Usually it becomes again and again and again. Maintain your honest thinking. If you start to say I'm worried about Xmas you are setting up the process where you can say 'oh dear I did it again'. And if you do you will get sympathy on this site but not from me (no matter how much I understand). Dont let those thoughts into your head. Fight them. Dont go backwards.. go forwards. Its the only way to go.

ATT

[Janice]

Long Termers' Tips for Christmas

Thanks ever so much for the replies...Sausage, will check out your old posts! And Kimberley & BL thanks for the tips...loved the idea of "acting drunk"!! Its the family get togethers that I think I'm most vulnerable .....however we have just had an early Christmas celebration over the weekend, a big Christmas Dinner. Everyone had pre-dinner drinks then champagne to toast but I stuck to my guns and enjoyed my usual sparkling water.

Think the meal had been on my mind the last few days but it was easier than I thought. First hurdle cleared!

[Janice]

Long Termers' Tips for Christmas

Cross posted!!

As usual, words that hit the nail on the head. Thank you. Hoping you are well & sending you my very best wishes. xx

[cpn1004]

Long Termers' Tips for Christmas

Lots of good stuff here. For me, I take the holidays like every other day, one at a time. I always have an escape plan for parties, for example, my own car. Or I may volunteer to be the designated driver for a group. As someone else wrote here, never underestimate the power of the drink. It will creep up on you.

[RunningCourage]

Long Termers' Tips for Christmas

Brilliant thread Janice. Our work's Xmas party will be next Tuesday. We hire a bar, they put catering on for us. Im split as to what to do. I'm playing it out in mind

It's a day "do" from 1pm thru to 8pm where no doubt peeps will carry on drinking thereafter. A buffet is set for 3.30 pm. Many work colleagues knew I didn't drink for a few weeks "cos I did it for marathon training and after the marathon liked how I felt" was my reason. Now all know I started drinking again. But they don't know I stopped again. Some colleagues won't care if I'm not drinking. Some will ask why. Some I fear will question why I'm not.

If I go, my POA would be:

Arrive late - definitely after 3.30pm so most or all peeps will have arrived.
Leave early - or if I get bored - with the excuse that I'm driving north, and because I stay with a colleague, to really drive both to stay with my folks. It also means I don't have to be in he flat if flat mates roll home drink with others and wake me.

Or, don't go. I don't know where my resolve is having done 7weeks AF, but yet just had a bad fall off the wagon. It feels strong, but i must bear in mind that both week-long nose dives into the bottle began with an innocent single drink on a previous day. It's not the drink that is pulling me to go, it's simply being with work peeps and feeling I'm missing out. I do get on with them, it's not like work where I only go so as I can pay the leckie bills etc.

The jury's out but I gotta pay the ?8 if I am going by 4pm today.

[paulywogg]

Long Termers' Tips for Christmas

im worried about the holidays too,last christmas season i was drinking very heavily so this year hearing the music and stuff makes me want to drink! However ive gotta stay on course because on christmas morning i was up at 5 went and bought beer drank 12 and was passed out by 1! not a pleasant memory,i didnt even remember my gifts i kept finding things here and there over the week.

[Nelz]

Long Termers' Tips for Christmas

paulywogg;1421611 wrote: im worried about the holidays too,last christmas season i was drinking very heavily so this year hearing the music and stuff makes me want to drink! However ive gotta stay on course because on christmas morning i was up at 5 went and bought beer drank 12 and was passed out by 1! not a pleasant memory,i didnt even remember my gifts i kept finding things here and there over the week.

Well, there's some real motivation right there. Ju can dooooo eeeeeet!

Might be the best present you can give to you and yours

[Lavande]

Long Termers' Tips for Christmas

Congrats on your 7 AF months Janice ~ terrific!

I was just going to suggest that by taking your focus off of AL & just enjoying the holiday makes it easy for me. Focus on the food, the company, the docorations even the gifts. Focus on anything but AL. I'm about to enjoy my fourth Christams season & birthday thrown in there as well AF.

You can do it too