100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

[Sunbeam]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

It took some time, but I gradually learned that no event in my life was improved by alcohol.

[skullbabyland]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

Good discussion going here... for a long time I too felt like I was missing out when others drink and I don't-- I still feel pangs of that from time to time but it's diminished significantly the more time I've spent AF. Thank God. It's so crazy how much perspective can change with some time away from the poison to heal... I thought I'd always be white-knuckling it crazy craving hell, every day, while everyone else around me had the time of their lives with ease. It's not really like that as it turns out, thankfully.

[Myluck]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

Lavande - this is very true- I shouldn't worry what other people have in their glasses :no:

[Samstone]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

Inneresting.....

All I know is what I know and what I know is that there ain't no such thing as a drink. There are only many drinks so the heck with what anyone thinks. I'm the one that's got to wake up feeling like shit day in and day out if I start that nonsense again. My self preservation far out weighs any group pressure and frankly, I'm too old for that. I actually have made no bones about it to my friends... I don't drink any more but I still enjoy their company, they are my friends, booze or no booze. Fortunately for me, they feel the same, I'm accepted for me, and it is a really good feeling.

The thing I guess is that I've been through this all before (this being my 3rd long term quit) so I have geared myself to stop the madness of a 5 year drunk. I'm running out of time to enjoy life sober and there is so much to enjoy, just a simple spring like today.... and now I'm off to bed and can know I will well in the morning, no guilt, no hangover.... ain't it grand!!! I can enjoy it all over again; sober groundhog day

Somehow or another I feel I'm getting off topic, but hopefully not.

Have a good one everybody.
Sam

p.s. Came back to this because I got to thinking that maybe the discomfort we all feel in a social setting is not about any thing else but us having to deal with that alter ego that wants us to drink, enticing us by exploiting our weakness to want to get drunk, go ahead, one drink won't hurt, etc. Maybe it is not about the pressure put on by others but strictly the pressure we put on ourselves. After all, we're the ones in control of our outcome in any situation, our choices, nobody else is holding us down and pouring that shit down our throats. So the thought becomes rather matter of fact, I just don't drink because I choose not to..... random thoughts

[Lavande]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

Sam, I have often wondered why some adults are more prone to peer pressure than some - or are they?
I haven't felt peer pressure since I was in high school. Everything I have done or not done since then was purely out of choice - my choice!
Blaming your actions on other people is just ridiculous & dysfunctional. That's why we have to drop the BS & be honest with ourselves to quit & stay quit

[TJAF]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

Lavande;1654166 wrote: Sam, I have often wondered why some adults are more prone to peer pressure than some - or are they?
I haven't felt peer pressure since I was in high school. Everything I have done or not done since then was purely out of choice - my choice!
Blaming your actions on other people is just ridiculous & dysfunctional. That's why we have to drop the BS & be honest with ourselves to quit & stay quit

I posted in the nest about my experience this weekend so I don't need to repeat it here but it is interesting to watch drinkers react to someone who doesn't drink. They are offended or at least appear to be. When I was drinking I knew it wasn't good for me. For those of us who know or lived with alcoholics we also know the horrors of alcohol abuse first hand...it never ends well. I think deep down anyone who has made the choice to drink know that they shouldn't but we want to fit in. Why do you think there is so much hoopla about the supposed positive effects of drinking...why would researcher look anyway. There are other things we could be doing that bring about the same positive health effects of drinking so on its on right it brings nothing special to the table when it comes to a healthy lifestyle. it just validates an otherwise negative group behavior.

With all this said I think that people pressure one anther to drink because of group dynamics. This isn't a zealot's way of talking BTW there are studies out there that show that the human brain places more value on winning in a social setting Our brains are hardwired to want to fit in and any behavior that is contrary to the groups behavior is view negatively. its who we are.

[Lavande]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

:H :H TJ!
I'd be the first one to admit that I can be just a bit contrary
I really don't care so much about fitting in socially, just do my own thing!

[TJAF]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

Lac. Right on! Byrdie I know I don't get big boy pants for another three months but do I get training pants for going 9 months:H

[Pavati]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

Hi,

I actually don't feel the pressure from my friends or family - they all think I'm "strong" and a bit weird for not drinking. With myriad alcoholics in my family, no one's too surprised or concerned that someone is or is not on the wagon. I think they'll be surprised when in two years I'm still "on the wagon."

As for drinking because of the group, I also think that is a part of denial. I WOULD quit, but I'm just getting so much pressure. I WOULD quit but my friend handed me a drink. I would quit, but, buttttttttt. There are too many buts (I know there's a Byrdie joke in there somewhere, I'm just too tired).

My contemplation for today was about denial, as I am slowly uncovering the layers of the truth about me and alcohol. It wasn't just the last year that it was a problem. It wasn't a "high bottom." It wasn't a choice. My relationships WERE affected, my job, my kids. I had to quit. Denial is very strong in all aspects of this disease - before we quit, while we're quitting, and after (I have the Bubble Hour women to thank for today's contemplation, btw.) I'm just scratching the surface of my own denial. More to come...

And now I went off on a tangent, Sam.

'Night.

[Pavati]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

Hi,

I actually don't feel the pressure from my friends or family - they all think I'm "strong" and a bit weird for not drinking. With myriad alcoholics in my family, no one's too surprised or concerned that someone is or is not on the wagon. I think they'll be surprised when in two years I'm still "on the wagon."

As for drinking because of the group, I also think that is a part of denial. I WOULD quit, but I'm just getting so much pressure. I WOULD quit but my friend handed me a drink. I would quit, but, buttttttttt. There are too many buts (I know there's a Byrdie joke in there somewhere, I'm just too tired).

My contemplation for today was about denial, as I am slowly uncovering the layers of the truth about me and alcohol. It wasn't just the last year that it was a problem. It wasn't a "high bottom." It wasn't a choice. My relationships WERE affected, my job, my kids. I had to quit. Denial is very strong in all aspects of this disease - before we quit, while we're quitting, and after (I have the Bubble Hour women to thank for today's contemplation, btw.) I'm just scratching the surface of my own denial. More to come...

And now I went off on a tangent, Sam.

'Night.

[Lavande]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

Nothing wrong with tangents here Pav
We used to talk a lot about 'peeling the layers of the onion' around MWO. That's pretty much what we do as we continue to heal & make sense of all that's happened to us. It's a good thing

[STEADFAST]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

I agree with many comments here.

One person who could be perceived as having reacted negatively to my non-drinking status said to me, "I don't trust people who don't drink!" And he wasn't saying it in a joking way, he meant it. Yes, he's one of us.

No matter who, no matter when or what, I'll make the decision that's right for me.

[Samstone]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

tangents, sines, cosines, they're all good.

[Lavande]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

That's good Sam :H

Steady, my husband actually made that same remark about our son-in-law who chooses not to drink (don't know why & I've never asked, not my business). I told the old man to mind his own damn business - he's just plain rude

[Samstone]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

hey there all,
what shakin in the 100 club, looks like a beautiful weekend ahead here in ol Virginny. Hope to go morel hunting whilst working tomorrow. Going up in the mountains for a bit. Our rain may have washed everything away.
have a good one everybody.
Sam