100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

[Rahulthesweet]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

Thanks all its good to know its "normal". There is still lot more to acheive as I introspect. Fortunately it's only uphill talk and it only gets better.

[Lavande]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

Glad things are better for you today Rahul
I clearly remember hoping & somewhat expecting everything in my life to improve instantly when I quit drinking. Found out it just doesn't work that way especially where other people in your life are concerned. Just keep hanging in there

[STEADFAST]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

Hi everyone,

Been a while since i last posted, so lots to read back through, which i'll do after my own update. After getting increasingly stressed at work, i was granted two weeks' annual leave. Have been up in the north of the state of Victoria, Aust., staying with my brother. He's working on an indigenous suicide prevention strategy. Lots of Aboriginal Australians do it tough, and alcohol and other drugs are a major problem. My brother's got together a soccer team of sorts, to encourgage the kids into community and a healthy life-style. We turned up to watch the under-12 year olds' match. A six year old reported that his friend wasn't coming, "coz he's probably sick with a hang-over." Very sad to hear that from a little boy.

Somewhat ironically, i found myself contemplating the little bottles in the mini-bar of my hotel room. Seriously, i came really close, and of course was soooo glad the next morning that the moment passed. It reminded me that various situations, such as being away from home on 'holiday', and being in a depressed part of society, can weaken the resolve. I will never be complacent about my AF status.

I hope everyone is doing well, no matter what day, situation, mood etc. Staying AF helps keep life's ups and downs in proportion.

best wishes to all,
Steady

[Byrdlady]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

Steady, you've got that right! Sure, it would seem innocent enough at the time, but MAN, what a one way ticket that is back into hell. I am so glad you fought that voice. Here at nearly 3.5 years, I can tell you that the voice is always laying dormant just under the surface. One little thought of 'Oh how nice!' Is all it takes to poke that rattlesnake! We just have to stay vigilant.

I was at the grocery store after lunch and there was a lady having a wine tasting in the middle of the produce department. Others were having some samples. I had a flood of emotions. Fear? Anger. Disbelief. Relief. We are really swimming upstream on this lifestyle....those drinks seem innocent enough to most of the population, but to us, they are deadly.

Im glad you resisted and came here to talk about it. It is important to share our experiences so we know what to expect. Then we can be ready for it! Great to see you! Byrdie

[Rahulthesweet]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

Byrdlady,

I can so relate to the feeling. Last week I was in Goa. While going the couple who went with us excitedly bought bottles of wine from airport. Back in the resort pop open one wine and I was offered a tiny small glad which I accepted just to give company's dn only to hold. Didn't taste it no intention of tasting it. But did smell it as a "tradition" when a bottle is opened. Felt so stupid and cheated (by society who made such traditions). Holding pionon in my head I felt betrayed, it was like come next to an ex. Ya but do temptation to drink. Kept holding the glass and a can of diet coke to give company.

On second occasion we were sitting at a bar at mid night watching world cup. This is one of these happening part of town with lots of crazy v
Bars and night life. World fever is on live match on. My friend orders gin tonic and I felt tired ordering cokes so ordered a moctail. Virgin mohito with water melon juice. Nice but sweet. Tell the bartender to make the next one less sweet. Strange we alcoholics have become so used to drinking bitter pioson the natural sweet tastes so natural !! I actually remarked something similar to everyone to gel in.

Next drink felt really normal , one sip and realize water melon can't be so unsweet. It turns out bar tended accidently have me a cocktail !! Damn sipping it felt bad I mean the taste felt so bad. Instantly got the drinks changed and back on track. So booze for me ...

But seeing all the bars with those fancy bottles, they appear to me as drug delivery area delivering drugs to all addicts. Seeing people getting drink felt so disgusting (for them and grateful for me).

It was an experience and I felt so glad I am put of the trap and no absolutely no intention going back. I feel I am lucky one who realized early on ...

[Byrdlady]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

Rahul, that is so interesting, the mocktails are TOO sweet and we object to the taste, but throw some booze in there and we don't care!
When you take a step back and look at a bar for what it is, it is really amazing, it IS an elaborate delivery system of a drug. The fancy bottles and showmanship of the bartenders, the enticing glasses that they are served in, all to deliver a drug. For me, they may as well have put a bottle and an IV drip in my arm!! UGG. And it's expensive, too. Turns out, I have become CHEAP since quitting! The thought of paying $8 or $9 for a glass of wine is appalling!! It's a wonderful feeling! The BUZZ of saving money!!!

The reason you just stated is why I don't order mocktails....I don't trust the bartenders. After all, they are busy, and MY quit doesn't mean squat to them, they prolly don't know how damaging it would be to serve me AL. It's no big deal to them, but it can mean getting derailed for me.... so I just order water with lime or diet coke. That way, I am SURE it is safe. Also, if I just order water, I AM NEVER STUCK with picking up the bar check, either! A win-win!!! Byrdie

[Rahulthesweet]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

So agree with you that's is exactly how am viewing these elaborate bars. While sitting at a bar I noticed a bar ordering a whole bottle of dark rum. He has his two friends were planning on "partying" and "after partying". If I see it from an eye of a teen ager those three wearing german sports jersey, drinking and drinking will appear so cool. Now see from my eyes I felt nothing but pity. They were trapped not even knowing. Worse if they even know it. My friend who was with me was "controlling" is in take and ended up getting 6 rum and tonic. And here was I with my perfect cool enjoying not trying to control anything ... But free ...

This reminds me of the movie "flight" I don't know of you saw it. But in the end he was in jail after admitting that he was drinking and flying and he remarked I am now finally free.

Not needing AL to enjoy is one thing but I guess challenge becomes for us is not needing AL to face challenges in lives. I am right now in unknown territory. Never been sober for so long. I am beginning to appreciate sober life but at the same time I am also seeing life, something which I have kept my eyes closed to for so long. This life has its ups and downs, it's own moments. While I cannot change that but I am working on how it all affect or how it should not affect me. I am not a short tempered man, I rarely lose temper , I don't built up anger inside to take it out. But now a days I am in a funk that I feel things are building up inside, it's not the AL or lack of AL it is regular stuff in life which makes me feel in satisfied or irritated.

Now thankfully I just cannot imagine myself and cannot relate to myself as a person drinking every night and collapsing on the bed. But then I also cannot imagine life this way the way it is and the fact it will remain this way. The life which does not have the instants highs and lows of drug abuse. The abuse of drug called alcohol which I was taking for so long....

[Byrdlady]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

I am in uncharted waters, too, Rahul. I want to stay here. I have repeated days before and that sucks. I have had 3 crises since getting sober. I put into place the very same principles that I used to get sober. i made a plan, I organized my thoughts and I took it one day at a time. I have learned to enjoy the journey and not worry needlessly about stuff I cannot control. AL is not one of those things....I do control that (by not drinking it). Your confidence will grow stronger as time passes. I remember your first business trip! You were really worried about it...now you are a pro. Being AF is a skill and you get better at it the more you do it!

Yes, I did see "Flight". It was a great movie. Even tho he was in prison, he said he was finally free! It is a relief to be free of those awful chains! One day at a time!! Byrdie

[STEADFAST]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

I really love your philosophy, Byrdie, and you put it in such a way that we can all relate to. You really walk every word you say, and I have a deep respect for your commitment and determination. Your words keep us all going! :thanks:

Rahul, your insights are great too. You were in Goa? No wonder the temptation was strong for you. I've visited Goa three times, and i always indulged heavily. You're doing so well to resist. I plan to visit Goa again some day, and to enjoy it al-free (for the first time.) It's a beautiful place and I look forward to experiencing it with clarity and true appreciation. My best wishes to you, Rahul.

[available]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

Just a pop in and a hello. Nice to see you Steady. Enjoying the cold weather? I forgot how cold winter is till it is here and all i want to do is hibernate.

Rahul you are sounding good. I did so enjoy the movie Flight. I watched that in my early days of being af and thought OMG what was he doing? Well i was doing exactly the same thing but not flying a damn plane and yes "now i am free". Although after reading Icans post today it knocked me a tad which is good in a way as being complacent with al is a no win situation. Al will always sneak its voice in. But 7 months tomorrow and i still feel sometimes like that scared alky that posted like a lunatic, like this is not me but gratefully it is me.

love and hugs to you all. xx

[Rahulthesweet]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

STEADFAST;1677377 wrote:
Rahul, your insights are great too. You were in Goa? No wonder the temptation was strong for you. I've visited Goa three times, and i always indulged heavily. You're doing so well to resist. I plan to visit Goa again some day, and to enjoy it al-free (for the first time.) It's a beautiful place and I look forward to experiencing it with clarity and true appreciation. My best wishes to you, Rahul.

Yes I was in Goa for a vacation and no I was not tempted. Well ok maybe for really really really tiny bit :H but I was definitely was not resisting. It was AL me finally agreeing - I don't drink AL ! Even after taking that sip accidentally no temptation to drink at all.

I believe its important to quit for right reasons. This reminds we, I was drinking (diet coke) with a drinking buddy (my cousin). We normally used to meet up in one of the beer brewery and drink till we are nuts. This time me sober he asked you are not drinking "Why ?"

And actually the question should be asked by me :I know damn well why I am not drinking but then why are you ?

[Lavande]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

Greetings everyone & Happy July 20014!!!!

[Samstone]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

July it is, the year is flyyying by. And in a good way, ain't it grand!!

[Lavande]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

Sure is Sam except that I think I'm getting older faster with the flying days :H :H

[Myluck]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

Hi all, I have not posted for awhile, but trust me - I am reading I am > 250 days AF now and I am doing great. Still doing hot yoga 5 times a week, not even sure anymore - should I be thankful to yoga for helping me be AF or shall I be thankful to AF life style for finding yoga? I know, I know - you all probably are tiered of me and my hot yoga lol