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    I didn't feel too great ~ 4-6 months or so AF, Cherokee. I don't know if it was PAWS, the let down from no longer actively working so hard on becoming AF, or what. I didn't feel like drinking but I was kind of blah. That was about the time I started exploring various forms of relaxation and meditation, too. It also helped to get involved in some things outside myself. Drinking is very isolating and selfish (at least as I did it) and the beginning of recovery was also (of necessity ) all about me.

    I think to fully heal, your body needs to be re-nourished. Alcohol replaces nutritious foods and affects how well you absorb and metabolize nutrients from the food you eat. So especially for people who don't eat very well while drinking or in the early AF days, repairing their health with food and if necessary, supplements, is really important to regain full mental and physical health.

    As with most things, the main thing you need is time. Many experts think at least a year is needed for the brain to re-set and another year before it can be considered healed. I felt pretty good by 1 year but have noticed more welcome changes during this second one. The main things I would say are to be grateful for what you've gained, help others, do things you enjoy with people you care about, get enough sleep, eat well, exercise, continue learning, and don't compare yourself to others or expect to feel a certain way at any particular time. As long as you don't drink, it will be ok.

    well, that got rather long. I think I may have been talking to myself as I wrote to you .

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      We all want/wanted to feel 100% marvelous after we put the lid on the bottle ~ that just doesn't happen.
      Chero, you are doing everything right & you will find yourself feeling more energetic in time. Some decent vitamins & exercise help a lot too
      AF since 03/26/09
      NF since 05/19/09
      Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

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        No Sugar, I have to say there is a level of blah in the evening. I am on fire at work all day. I'm back to being a firecracker and have gotten my sharp edge back. I have to admit over the last year the AL made my thinking slow and I was barley pulling myself through each day. Not anymore, thank God. I have to say (and my husband does too) I'm happy. Truly, and it flows every day. I'm just at a point where when I get home from work. I want to put my PJ's on and be alone. Don't get me wrong I am cooking and cleaning and taking care of my 3 dogs. But I want to be alone. I love that hour and half that I get to spend alone before the husband and kids get home.

        I don't really want to exercise. I really need to but I don't feel the fire to do it. I used to work out like a mad woman. I'm still 25 pounds too heavy. And I really want to get it off I'm just too tired at the end of the day. I'm mediating and using visual imagery to try and get myself excited about exercising again. I believe it will come. I am not pushing myself hard like I usually do. I am setting healthy boundaries with my husband and my time. I told the husband this weekend that I will no longer put myself in uncomfortable or stressful drinking situations. I don't drink and if I don't want to be part of a social event then he HAS to respect my decision. I am not going to keep being miserable in drinking situations that I do not and will not participate in. This is healthy for me. And its about respect.

        As I am coming up on 5 months I am getting so much back that I thought I had lost forever. Everyday I smile and breathe and say out loud I am happy and I am so so very grateful. I am so lucky I was able to stop drinking. I am humbled that I was saved before it was too late. I am just so grateful.

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          Lav, I have my fingers crossed on that. I have always been a person who pushes myself as far as I could go and then internally criticize myself for not doing more. I'm trying to be more gentle and more forgiving of myself.

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            Maybe you're just regular old tired in the evenings because you're working hard all day!
            I didn't get back to exercising until I felt like it (I used to be rather obsessive - trying to compensate for the drinking and prove to myself that I was healthy, strong, and fine...). I've been doing different forms of exercise than in the bad old days. For awhile it was HIIT but now I'm just loving Hatha yoga.
            You don't sound at all like PAWS is a problem right now! Having your husband respect what you are and are not willing to do should help - feeling coerced is awful!
            Like Lav said, you're doing fine and I bet you'll find that things get better and better with time.

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              I am not sure what PAWS is. Can you explain it to me or tell me where is look? I've seen it used here a few times. Forgive my ignorance.

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                post-acute withdrawal syndrome: http://www.addictionsandrecovery.org/post-acute-withdrawal.htm

                Im not sure why the link isn't active but maybe you can copy/paste it!

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                  Ah, I did a lot of reading on it. I had experienced a few of those on month 2 and 3. Thank explains the unexplainable irritability I have experienced. But luckily that has been minimal. The memory wasn't working well on month three either but because better during the fourth month. I thought these symptoms were hormonal as I am going to be 46 in a couple months. Thanks Sugar, I love learning new things. I believe knowledge is definitely power. If I experience any of these symptoms again I will know the cause.

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                    Good morning, Cherokee

                    Our conversation last evening motivated me to return to my spinning class this morning. That is a form of exercise I've done for many years but had taken a break from this summer. It really felt good so thanks for the inspiration! I was struck by how different a class like that is now. I used to try to choose a bike away from everyone else, didn't make eye contact with others, didn't interact with the instructor, felt woozy and nauseous the whole time, and had sweat the smelled like wine. I pushed myself as hard as I could in a self-flagellating sort of way - felt like I deserved to be punished. Now pushing hard is its own reward.

                    Have a good day, all.

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                      Good for you! I am waiting for that motivation to kick in. I need to get serious about losing some pounds. But right now I'm just so tired.

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                        Are we the only ones here, Cherokee??

                        I know I'm a broken record on this topic but... for weight loss, what goes in really does seem to be more important than what comes out. Don't get me wrong!! EXERCISE IS FABULOUS but it does not result in much weight loss unless the body is in a metabolic state to burn (hopefully!) fat. You certainly don't want to be starving yourself and burning muscle and other tissue - just fat. Exercise is a great compliment to eating for fat loss, of course, and has so many other metabolic and psychological benefits. But since we aren't bomb calorimeters, weight loss involves so much more than simply subtracting calories expended from calories consumed.

                        I bet exercise will start seeming like a good idea one of these days and may help with the fatigue you're feeling. Personally, I wouldn't push it. After having spent my life in high gear, in many ways I enjoyed the laid back approach I took to re-emerging from the fog of drinking. The only thing I did 100% was not drink - everything else evolved/is evolving on its own time.

                        Hope you're having a good day (and that some people join us!!) . NS
                        Last edited by NoSugar; October 9, 2014, 12:26 PM.

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                          I am totally taking my time. Seriously, no butts on fire here. LOL On a positive note it sounds like my job may be ending in the next 6 months. I so need a break from the rat race. If I wasn't busting my butt for hours a day at work I bet I could muster a bit of energy to work out. I am just really happy with the direction my life is taking.

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                            If I were a drinking person, this would have been a brown liquor day. Everything I touched got screwed up. NUTS! But no problem is worth drinking AT. I have my other coping skills in place to help me. If I'd have had a bottle of something, I could have used it to whack my customer over the head. I just wanted to choke him. ASSHOLE! Glad this week is about over, I need a time out!!! Hope everyone is hanging in! Hugs to all! Byrdie
                            All you gotta do, is get thru this day. AF 1/20/2011
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                            Newbie's Nest

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                              Birdie, I hate days like that. I find visualizing elbow strikes to peoples heads makes me smile when I'm stressed at someone. Yes, I have a warped sense of humor and I crack myself up a lot.

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                                Hey Byrdie
                                you need to calm down and drink LOTS OF COFFEE! That's my new brown liquor. Hope you have a easier day and relaxing weekend. Be well
                                Sam
                                Liberated 5/11/2013

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