100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

[Guitarista]

Thanks y'all for the welcome.

Safe travels Sunbeam.
A gig sat night along with my other work this weekend so the young man's a busy bee.

Have a great weekend everyone.

[Pavati]

Happy travels, Sunbeam. What a great adventure.

Feeling meh and a little lonely tonight (have posted that on three threads - I guess it is true!)

I heard about Ellie's (One Crafty Mother) second BIG relapse - hearing those things always sort of freaks me out. She was a sobriety Queen, advocating for and helping everyone. Her message is that she wasn't helping herself first. I can get into that mode if I am not careful, and I am afraid of a relapse hitting me broadside. I know there are signs beforehand, so you all watch out for me, you hear!

Off to bed. I keep waking up TOO early.

Pav

[Guitarista]

Yo Pav!

I'm around if you're still up. Lonely can be an alert according to H.A.L.T. Bed sounds a good idea.

[available]

Pav i am here for you buddy, i know i would see the signs and i am not seeing any. Put it down to a stage. God we have so many stages on this road to recovery but i have faith in you, maybe more faith in you than me! I do know how you feel about being scared of relapsing as i feel the same but we cant dwell on what may happen we just need to keep on plodding along to that one year mark and i know we will both be celebrating that one shortly.

[Lavande]

Greetings all!

Hey PAV!
Checking in with your MWO buddies is a good thing
You have no idea how many times I've done over the past 5 1/2 years to get past a 'lonely' moment!
We are truly all in the same boat here!

[NoSugar]

Pav,

Being aware of the signs of relapse and being able to recognize them in yourself (and others) is so important but I don't think you need to be alarmed unless you start experiencing them. Ellie's or anyone else's choice to drink has nothing to do with you.

Could you be feeling a little unsettled as your one year marker approaches? It is after all the anniversary of one of the toughest periods of your life as well as the wonderful day you started to turn it all around. If you are having any doubts, re-double your efforts until you're once again comfortable in your AF-hood. You know you've got a large support staff ready to do whatever you need. xx- NS

[Sunbeam]

Pav, for a long time I hung around here with the moderate drinkers. One of my excuses for not quitting was all the relapses I saw. One excuse is as bad as another I guess. But that wasn't completely wasted time, by the time I quit I was good and ready, I had seen it all go by here. So you can look at the experiences of others here as learning opportunities, not threats.

[Pavati]

Thanks so much for the support and kind words!

I slept 9.5 hours last night, so I guess I had the L. and the T.

NoSugar - I think you're right. The holiday season always brings out anxiety for me - I am pulled to do so many "obligations" and there is so much family "tradition" that I get tense and resentful. I am heading into practically a week long celebration of a family member's big birthday, and then straight into Thanksgiving.

It has been a tradition in my life to get "overserved" on Thanksgiving, so I have zero apprehension about going through one sober - I am looking forward to it. But this time of year is conjuring memories of last year at this time which was not good for me. I need to focus on all that is so much better in my life and not dwell on the past. Yesterday I saw a picture I took on my last drinking day, and my reaction was actually physical - my heart started beating faster. I don't want to throw it away - it seems a good reminder of where I don't want to be.

Anyway - we made plans for my family of four to be away (like out of the country) for Christmas, so we won't have to do all the things here. I am very excited for that trip, and will focus on looking forward to that.

Thanks so much for your support and for being here for me!

xo
Pav

[Byrdlady]

Pav, when I think about the upcoming holidays I want to hurl!
#1 My family is freaking nuts, and having them gathered in one spot is something else. ALL of the family dynamics come out...the whiner whines, the bitch bitches, and so it goes....UGG. I am traveling the furthest to get there and I'm supposed to bring the turkey, the ham, the stuffing, rolls and a cake! WTH????
#2 See #1.

I totally agree with all of the above, you are going thru a stage....a phase...a lull....a reality check. You and Ava are doing all the right things...I don't see any tell-tell signs either, so just ride it out. The good news is that over time, you will become LESS fearful of relapse. Mind you, it is ALWAYS possible, we're all ONE drink away from that awful place...but it doesn't have to happen to you! I look at it this way, in the almost 4 years I've been sober, I haven't had any close calls, I have been totally aware of what I consume, and AL is NOT on the menu. It is in MY control and I say HELL NO to AL! You do the same thing, so just keep it up and you will be fine. It is nice when you lose that awful anxiety about it tho, I must say. I am confident, but vigilant and in NO WAY cocky. Better folks than I have fallen, but as long as I am in charge of what goes in, I should be in good shape. Besides, I just do what Lav does! She hasn't lead me wrong yet!!! Now go worry about something else....like how we are going to ship a cake to Ava!! (I can get one to you.....) Hugs dear lady!
XO, B

[NoSugar]

Kuya once said she was more likely to have accidental sex than an accidental drink. That still cracks me up - and I think it's true.

[Pavati]

It DOES crack me up, but I'm not so sure.

I went out to a nice dinner and ordered the AF cocktail off the menu - I was so afraid they'd mix up the drinks. And then later I was at a table where people kept moving around, and although I had soda water, others were drinking soda and vodka - I kept having to get a new drink. I guess by being vigilant I can avoid an accidental drink, but I don't think I have to be that vigilant regarding sex (especially now that I'm sober...)

Pav

[NoSugar]

Hey, Pav. I remain alert to those kinds of accidents -- I guess what I mean is that if I drink at this point, it will be because I, with full knowledge of the possible consequences, have chosen to do so. My plan is to have options set up so that I don't make that choice. If I did accidently consume AL because of a mix-up, I would let it go --- at this point, intent is the issue and without intent, I doubt that a few sips would send me out of control. If it did fire up a physiological response, I think I would be able to quickly get a handle on it given that I don't want to drink.

[NoSugar]

I went out to a nice dinner and ordered the AF cocktail off the menu - I was so afraid they'd mix up the drinks. And then later I was at a table where people kept moving around, and although I had soda water, others were drinking soda and vodka - I kept having to get a new drink. I guess by being vigilant I can avoid an accidental drink, but I don't think I have to be that vigilant regarding sex (especially now that I'm sober...)

I'm avoiding doing my work by reading Unpickled's blog and came across this clever approach:

The solution I have settled on for a social situation is most often a non-alcoholic beer. I like that it arrives at the table in its can or bottle and I know for certain what I am getting. I will be very honest – if I ordered plain tonic water and accidently received a gin and tonic, I am not 100% certain that I would send it back. There is a devious part of me that might drink it anyway and act like nothing’s amiss. I am three years and eight months sober, and I don’t want to play games with my recovery success. Even when I order a plain Diet Coke in a restaurant I will often have my husband take a sip to ensure it is safe (“Oh that’s gawd awful – yes it is plain diet coke,” he’ll grimace, taking one for the team).I have become very specific when ordering and say, “I will have a non-alcoholic beer and also a big wine glass to pour it into please.” I specify the wine glass for two reasons. First, I still like holding a wine glass. It feels feminine and familiar, and it makes me happy. Second, other people do not generally drink their beer from a wine glass, so it lessens the likelihood of picking up the wrong drink if I am mixing about the room. If I feel happy and safe, then mission completed. Servers do not care what customers order, their focus is to deliver what is asked for and keep the customer happy.

[See the Light]

That is an interesting topic..I'm sure you all know (at least in the U.S.) many NA beers actually contain small amounts of AL. This Halloween, we went to a friends house before taking out the kids..they knew I didn't drink (my wife told them) and yet they offered me an NA beer. I told them I was fine, but really I could care less...the small amount there shouldn't matter..but I don't even like beer that much so why would I drink it?..its not the taste ...it's the drug of AL i would care about..but I didn't..I think there are many better tasting NA drinks than beer anyway. I guess my point is many people don't drink beer for the taste (although I'm sure some do)..but I think its the AL they want..I would just rather not be tempted..

[See the Light]

Oh, since I'm here..I noticed Cherokeer has not been around for a bit..hope everything is oK there