100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

[Sunbeam]

I just finished a book by Anne LaMott, Traveling Mercies. She has had struggles with alcohol and refers back to that time often. She is a spiritual writer, often irreverent, very relevant. She also posts every couple of weeks on Facebook, which I enjoy. I hear new new book is also good , "Help, Thanks, Wow"

[NoSugar]

Forgiveness is one of the major themes of her newest book, SmallVictories, which was released a month or so ago. http://www.amazon.com/Small-Victorie.../dp/1594486298

[Cherokeer]

Thanks Sun and No sugar I will add those to my kindle. I realize that self-forgiveness is something I really need to work on. My mind is always crystal clear now that the poison has been out of my body for nearly 8 months. Each bit of knowledge I gain becomes a building block for the solid foundation I am trying to build. No more escaping just head on dealing with every challenge internal or external. It used to be my super power and it will once again.

I realized something over this weekend about myself. I am still somewhat punishing myself. I haven't lost anymore weight after the 20 I initially dropped. There is no reason I shouldn't but then I realized a few things and feeling bad about my weight has been a penance I was punishing myself with. It was subconscious until the light bulb went on. So that is next on the new years list. Stop paying the price for sins past committed, my bank is running low.

[Sunbeam]

Cherokeer, you need to love yourself and feel loved, all else will follow. The spiritual path can lead you to where you need to be.

[TJAF]

My son and future daughter in law both stopped drinking and I am so very proud of them. She is epileptic and alcohol increases the chance of a seizure. She also believes she is an alcoholic. My son stopped drinking to support her. Again, so very proud. Available, I am also a bit preachy and it doesn't always go over well. Particularly with folks who aren't problem drinkers and just don't understand. Sometimes our inside voice is all that needs to be "heard". HA

[Cherokeer]

Sun, Your right and I have awareness now its just putting it into practice. Living a life with enough guilt to start my own religion has caused me to wear the world on my shoulders. This is going to be a learning experience for me. Wish me luck. :congratulatory:

[Pavati]

Hi, Everyone:

Thanks for starting this conversation, Chero. I have been experiencing some painful memories that keep popping up this week, also.

I read Small Victories - it was given to me by some MWO friends on the occasion of my year anniversary. A great read, and good stuff on forgiveness. I also follow Lamott on Facebook and I love her posts there.

Chero - One way to think about forgiveness - Imagine it was your daughter who did all of the things that you're mad at yourself for. How would you talk to her? What would you say? How would you help her feel better and also remember the lesson of what happened? Ok, now say those same things to yourself. Why would you not treat yourself with the same love and respect as you would your child? (Thanks to my therapist for that one!) This discussion is reminding me to to that for myself. I will also check out Radical Forgiveness. Thanks, everyone.

I hear you about becoming a radical anti-alcohol activist. The more I read about it, the more I wonder why ANYONE drinks. There was another study posted about the effects binge drinking has on your immune system even DAYS after the drinking. It is POISON!

Pav

[Cherokeer]

Pac, One of the things that radical forgiveness says right in the beginning is that it is easier to forgive others than it is to forgive yourself. So true! I would move heaven and earth to protect and ease my Childs suffering but have a particularly difficult time giving myself the same latitude. I know it will take time and concentrated effort to forgive me for having been drunk me. I just have to learn to re-invent myself and put the past where it belongs, in the past.

I do hate alcohol. My poor poor liver. :sad:

[Byrdlady]

That forgiveness will come! Its a good place to be as we accept what happened. It seems as if I have led 2 lives, but I wouldn't have the one today without the other one. Its a shame I had to walk thru fire to get here, but now it all seems worth it. B

[Cherokeer]

Birdie, I sometimes wonder if my experience was meant to happen so that I can help others. I always seem to get the calls (social worker) from people who either are or have a loved one who is trying to stop drinking are have an immediate fear of being mistreated and judged and just don't know where to turn. I am able to ask the hard questions and communicate with them comfortably and they hear no judgment in my voice just an honest desire to help them. I've been thanked more than once by people for helping and not judging. How could I when they are in such a fragile and vulnerable state. I have been there myself. People don't seek out help because of the shame. If I can in some small way help people..... well all those college loans aren't a waste after all.:congratulatory:

[Lavande]

Hello everyone!
Just stopping by to wish everyone a wonderful AF weekend

Lav

[TJAF]

Gotta update this thread....YEAH Byrdie!!!!!!!! Four years and counting!

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[Byrdlady]

It's been a great day TJAF!! Thank you so much! Daily vigilance is what this is going to take!! I wanted to pose a question to the group....have any of you had any 'close calls'?

I have not...(thankfully) I respect AL as if it were a rattlesnake. I have not tested the waters in any way and I don't intend to. I used to fear relapse as being inevitable, but it really isn't...as long as I do ONE THING. I am vigilant....but I do not live in fear anymore. Thoughts? Byrdie

[TJAF]

sure have, I remember being at a family party and the booze was flowing like a Niagara Falls and I sat in front of the whole mess and had an out of body experience. I remember calming thinking in a mindset that was not my own how easy it would be to drink...it was almost involuntary. Came pretty darn close to drinking. I enlist a buddy now at these parties (usually my wife) When my head starts to shake like the victims heads did in the movie Scanners she knows its time to leave.

[NoSugar]

Hi, Rebirthday, Girl! I haven't had any close calls or big temptations but I must admit, I haven't faced any big challenges like you have such as deaths of people close to you. I used to be afraid that I might succumb in the face of an event like that and while I can never be sure, I no longer think I will. I just have no interest in ever drinking again. It would be like worrying if I would shoot heroin or something. No matter what, I know I'm not going to do that. But -- I do have plans in place for asking for help if I need it (so keep your phone with you at all times :wink:!). You're Legend around here, Byrdlady. We're so lucky to have you in our lives.