100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

[Rahulthesweet]

Hey Happy Birthday NS !!!

Keep giving yourself the gift of sobriety every minute, hour day ...

[Dottie Belle]

I haven't been here lately. I stopped counting so no clue where I am except to say still not drinking. I dont like to count calories either.
Doing well and trying to figure out what my new life holds for me. Dating at this age is very scary particularly when most folks break the ice with a drink...so far I have ordered water without any issues but I figure it is their problem not mine. I can only control what I do.
Have a great weekend.

[TJAF]

Birdie. July 29.

[Eloise]

I havent checked in here lately either.
All these terror attacks are making me jumpy. Husband is going on about Greece, I am trying to stay calm. Not doing a great job of it.
All this talking for days on end is getting thr best of me.
Plus these 16 hours of sunlight days... If I do not nap I start to get wound up. No nap today and I am completely tense.
Doing great on the af & sf front though!

[TJAF]

I posted a response in the nest in regards to moderation that, at least the overall thought bears repeating here; in fact here more than any other place. I have to admit that I was put off a bit by the Poster. From the handle the Poster used, to the preemptive strike the guy used in the post about preachy anti-modders, this guy just rubbed me the wrong way.

If you have read my posts you know that I don't believe in moderation in the least. I believe it's a hypocrisy The fact that we struggle with alcohol, and that somehow we can also moderate our drinking, flies in the face of reason. If we could moderate than we would!

I never know how far to go in the nest. I want to stay positive because I know that for most of the folks (myself included in the early days of my sobriety) hanging on is by the thinnest of threads. The thought and/or reminder that we face long odds at making our sobriety stick is enough to just say screw it. However when it comes to folks pushing moderation on a particular thread that is geared towards our most vulnerable I cant keep quiet! Am I wrong here?

[Byrdlady]

TJ, I was put off by that poster, also. It was like going to a foreign country and insulting their culture and customs. Most folks fly into the nest with hat in hand, without arrogance and seeking best practices. After all, why learn everything the hard way when there are others who are walking the same path?

When I came to MWO, I was ready to STOP drinking, then I got derailed by the illusion of moderation. (what addict wouldn't???) I never drank harder or more dangerously than I did that year. Chasing that dream of being NORMAL as it relates to AL nearly cost me everything. I understand that everyone thinks he/she is different, I certainly did. But seeing is believing and I have NEVER seen it work long term here. What I know is that whenever we make rules about AL, it's already got us!

I don't know if we, as addicts, are particularly stubborn or if it is the sheer power of addiction, but I know if someone holds that 'HOPE' carrot in front of a fragile addict, he/she is likely going to grab it like a life preserver. I think it would be irresponsible for those of us who have seen and heard ALL the stories, not to share our experiences. NoSugar may have the best response of all...If you think moderation is for you, try having just one 4oz drink each night for 30 days and see how you do. Genius!

I thought your response in NN was right on target. If someone doesn't want to hear our experiences, they are free to move on to where they can be told what they want to hear. (that's what I did!!!)
I wanted to reach thru my computer and hug you for your thoughtful response! Byrdie

[NoSugar]

I agree, TJ, what you (and Sam and some others) wrote was totally appropriate.

[Pavati]

Hi, All:

I appreciated all of your responses.

What I try to remember is that most people come with good intention. I figure that someone who posts in the nest something like that is just saying out loud what I was saying to myself when I first joined - I'll do this for 30 days, prove to myself I'm not an alcoholic, and be on my way.

I work in a high school and I liken the struggle I feel when someone drinks (who is trying to be abstinent) to when a teenager gets pregnant (I guess they're NOT trying to be abstinent). I want to hug them, take care of them, help them with blankets, etc., AND I want not to sugar coat the mess they are in and give them a swift kick in the arse.

It is a hard line to walk between the tough love and the supportive love that will keep someone coming back. The Nest is such a symphony of experiences that one can discern the melody through it all. There are serial relapsers that keep coming back. I am glad they do, and I am frustrated that they keep drinking. But I am sure THEY are frustrated, too. So the advice everyone gives in addition to asking what will be different this time, is about all we can do.

A bit of a ramble and a giant mixed metaphor, but I hope you can get what I mean!

Hasta,
Pav

[Sunbeam]

I agree with Pav. People go through phases before they reach the realization that they need to quit drinking for good. Most try to cut back at some point. They are not ready to hear the wisdom of those who have tried this before them. They are doing their best to recognize that something needs to change. After joining here I hung out for a couple of years with the mods group before quitting. I was definitely successful at cutting back my drinking during that time. I finally recognized that there was no value for me in the struggle, and I quit. It was a process for me, change often takes time.

[TJAF]

Pav, I hear you and respect what you have to say. It's difficult to balance the desire to help one person see the light and the desire to protect the rest of the group from that person's mistaken point of view. In this case I felt the poster wasn't much interested in what we had to say so I felt it more important to try and protect the rest.

[Lavande]

Interesting topic & discussion
I think we need to consider the unfortunate fact that some new people find MWO while they are actively drinking or even drunk. Their hostility comes through loud & clear. I personally feel it's more important to support & protect the newbies who are really trying to pull themselves together. I really don't feel bad in having to smack down an occasional hostile poster. They are obviously not ready to accept the reality we all know to be true. Maybe some day they will be ready, it's their choice.

[Byrdlady]

Interesting topic & discussion
I think we need to consider the unfortunate fact that some new people find MWO while they are actively drinking or even drunk. Their hostility comes through loud & clear. I personally feel it's more important to support & protect the newbies who are really trying to pull themselves together. I really don't feel bad in having to smack down an occasional hostile poster. They are obviously not ready to accept the reality we all know to be true. Maybe some day they will be ready, it's their choice.

THIS is why I love you!!! B

[Lavande]

Just can't help myself ~ sometimes I shoot from the hip, ha ha!!
Love you too Byrdie :hug:

[Pavati]

Yep. Everyone needs an occasional Lav smackdown...

[roxane]