100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

[kuya]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

I was just writing a PM and making the point that, for me now, the QUITTING is over.

I never crave a drink physically or mentally and that was the point really.

I now KNOW there will never be a 'slip' ( where DID that expression come from? :H) because you CAN'T 'slip' when you don't crave alcohol and you DEFINITELY can't 'slip' when you are SOBER and don't crave alcohol !

Hell it would be easier now to have sex accidentally than drink! :H

So a moment of grief occurred and WF, I realise the drinking dream, which involved me trying to sneak 2 bottles of vodka past my kids whilst all the fear and panic consumed me, was my subconscious reminding me of the misery that drinking was.

It wasn't desire, it was fear of EVER going back there.

Grief is fine, it is the precursor of acceptance.

'twas short and sweet and didn't even warrant a tear.

[FallenAngel]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

Byrdlady wrote a great post over in the Newbies Nest about milestones:
https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...573-30074.html

I thought it best to further the discussion over on this thread, since we are further along in our journey than most in the NN.

One thing I have witnessed so many times in both smoking & drinking quits is that there are lots of people that don't look beyond their full year. They have their eyes set on that 1 year milestone, but haven't put much thought into what comes after. I have witnessed so many lose focus around the 15th month mark. The thrill of the quit is gone, they have conquered every holiday on the calendar. Melancholy sets in.
I didn't experience that because I quit drinking one year after quitting smoking, so I threw myself right back into the "white knuckling" syndrome. lol However, it did teach me something very valuable, and that was to make a goal each year of something I was going to learn or accomplish. Each year of my recovery has brought me something new, and that's one way I keep my quits fresh & green.

[Sunbeam]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

Thanks, FA, that's a good way to look at life. I hear more about complacency after 30 days than after a year or so. In any case, it will always important for me to have many strategies in place. Just white knuclling it never did it for me, i need the multi-prong approach.

[Lavande]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

You want help/motives to keep your quit(s)?
Try spending time around babies & little kids :H
I've said all along that I did want want to be a smoking, drinking granny :H

I believe in doing anything & everything you need to do keep your thoughts positive
I spent way too many years dealing with sadness, feeling lonely & depressed. I tried to drink my way out & obviously that didn't work. Kids are naturally happy so it's good to spend time with them

[Catbuddy]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

Great point, Lav. Seeing babies always makes me smile. Sometimes when I'm down or lonely I watch random baby clips on youtube. It works!

Cat

[Lavande]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

And chickens too Cat - I forgot to mention the chickens :H :H
They really are comical :H

[Wildflowers]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

I hope I never take my sobriety ~ recovery for granted. I must be careful to not be over confident. Yet, healthy confidence is also good. Thru the yrs I've seen many people with various times, & types of either alcoholism or abuse, fall.

I stay connected to a recovery community 3-5 times per wk. I practice being aware of my physical, emotional, mental & spiritual needs. Not always in a particular order. Just whatever is most prevalent. I'm lacking in my eating & exercising habits. Still I've made progress. I recycle my tools, skills & am still learning. It keeps me busy. I practice gratefulness, prayer & am trying to do a better job of right sizing my ego. Checking my motivation. Those who matter. It's none of my business. Changing my attitude. It's important for myself to remain willing & open.... Yet, I won't allow people to control me!!!..... I do recognize it. I'm recovering from more then just putting down the bottle.

It's all a process, a journey as they say & not a final destination. I continue to peel the onion layers back. It is all about me. Today, in self care, loving way. Not all consuming selfish one. I'm so grateful to be alive, sober & in recovery today!...

I have to make sure I take my RX as I have the allergy to alcoholism, it also treats my anxiety & depression. Without treating & correcting my physical needs, I'm unable to address any other areas, ie, emotional, mental, spiritual health. I've tried many ~ many other things for yrs first. My RX is a lifesaver. I will not be complacent in taking it!....................

I'm able to maintain my sobriety, because I've stopped this internal struggle that I can secretly drink like a normie. It's not ever safe at any time for me to drink any amount of alcohol!....

As Lav says, it takes practice, time, repeating, saying to myself, I'm now a non~drinker. With time it just becomes a habit & more believable. It becomes ingrained & just a way of life...

When I see people out at restaurants who leave a half glass of wine or pint of beer on the table, I think what a waste.... Another reminder I didn't consume alcohol beverages like others usually.

I read diff peoples stories, see the rungs on the ladder of where I've been & where I want to be. Contribute where I can hoping to help someone. It's all reciprocal. Stops complacency... Makes your heart feel good, strengthens your sobriety, takes you out of your own head & troubles. Sometimes it makes my heart sad, as I see how hard some people struggle.... I get it. I understand there are many facets, diff situations, obstacles, resources & histories in peoples journeys. That everyone on the rung of the ladder isn't the same, even tho there are similarities. Still it doesn't mean it can't be overcome!.. I carry the message & not the mess most the time.

I won't forget my history with the bottle, how it affected myself & others in a negative way!... If I were to pick up alcohol again, I'm still eligible to have more negative things happen!

I journal, write a few things down that I'm grateful for to. Meditate... Fresh air.... Read a passage from Hazelden's Thought For The Day. Have an emergency folder with printed material. Keep Dr's appt's. I try to Thank God Everyday, pray for others!.... :h

Sometimes I wait, just do nothing, take a day off from all this recovery business.... I consider this an action step. I act as if. Not often as it's still early days for me. I don't feel I'm in jeopardy of being complacent yet. I'm active in my sobriety & recovery daily in one area or another... I can still complicate & over analyze things (I need a break). Clarity is recognizing my strengths & weaknesses.

FA, I use to have a small shrine a few yrs back when I was nearly 8 mo sober. It was just a poster board. I've imagined a few times having a small tree, like ones used in weddings. I've thought of doing something with all my seashells, little agates, seaglass, etc. Maybe I will... I love being present today...

[Catbuddy]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

Thank you for that post, WF. There was a lot of wonderful guidance there. I like the commitment to whole person health - physical, emotional, spiritual. I know that I have spent my life ignoring my needs in pursuit of fulfilling obligations. I no longer ignore my needs, and boy does it take some maturing to learn how to meet them.

Cat

[Byrdlady]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

I saw a great saying this morning:
We cause our own storms, and then complain when it rains.

Ain't that the truth!

I got nothing today...I think I've finally said all I know. Gulp!
Have a happy day everyone! B

[FallenAngel]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

Byrdlady;1462197 wrote:
I got nothing today...I think I've finally said all I know. Gulp!

:H:H:H

I think it happens to all of us Byrd! Have a good day! :h

[Guitarista]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

Sunbeam;1459896 wrote: I love my recovery list, or maybe I should call it my anti- complacency list. It reminds me of the many ways my life needs to be different in order for me to stay AF.

Yo y'all!

Hi Sunbeam.

I'd be interested to see your anti-complacency list if you're okay to share it?

A level of complacency and procrastination can be dangers for me, but i know my road forward at least, and that is to do the things that make me happy most, and the number 1 thing is writing and making music, followed by community work of some sort. As long as i am doing these things daily/weekly, i am fulfilled and being true to myself.

Digging the thread. Yo fruity! :h

[Sunbeam]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

Hi Guitarista,
My inspiration list came from Mario, I posted it on the tool box thread. If you'd like my personal list, pm me and I'm happy to share it.

[Lavande]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

Cat - be sure to put 'learning to say NO' at the top of your self care list!
It is a difficult concept for us habitual people pleasers, just doesn't come naturally be we can learn
Saying NO more often is very therapeutic

Byrdie & FA, I think I'm running out of useful information myself. Talking about the weather too much lately :H
Hi G!!!!
Hi Sunbeam!

[FlyAway]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

Byrdlady;1462197 wrote:

I got nothing today...I think I've finally said all I know. Gulp!
Have a happy day everyone! B

She's come to the end of the Internet!

[kuya]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

Lavande;1462474 wrote: Cat - be sure to put 'learning to say NO' at the top of your self care list!
It is a difficult concept for us habitual people pleasers, just doesn't come naturally be we can learn
Saying NO more often is very therapeutic

!

LAV ...... You have NOT run out, you have been sober so long what is important now seems normal !

I posted this in the nest today, it is about saying NO and learning to accept our human limitations.

We are not superhumans or saints, we are weaker than we want to be, stronger than we fear. We are simply human.

Learning our limitations is vital to our mental health,in general, as well as our sobriety.

I am a vet and during my first years in practice I made myself stressed out and unwell working day and night answering each and every call to prevent the suffering of each and every animal.

As I became more and more burnt out I became more and more ineffective due to fatigue.

One night a client rang at 1 am and wanted her cat seen immediately. She thought her cat had an abscess, a painful but not life threatening condition. I refused to get up and go to her house and she screamed at me

'" I THOUGHT YOU CARED ABOUT ANIMALS ! "

I put down the phone and wept. The next morning she didn't keep the appointment we had agreed. By 11 am I was feeling sick with worry that something more serious had occurred so I rang her

'" OH, AFTER WE SPOKE I LOOKED MORE CAREFULLY AND HE HAD A BOILED SWEET STUCK IN HIS FUR "

There was NO apology from her for her behaviour or for not cancelling her appointment, even though I would have had an entire night's sleep ruined for a piece of candy !

I have learned that there is NO END to suffering animals, just as there is no end to the suffering of people.

I am still dedicated to my job, but I am NOT superwoman.

We must learn to look after ourselves first, and to pick our battles carefully.

As Byrdie says ' secure your own oxygen mask first ( sobriety) before trying to help others'